Tag Archives: justin bieber

Who Is The Next Justin Bieber?

Just three minutes ago (in pop culture time), Justin Bieber was just a wee Canadian boy with a YouTube channel, floppy hair, and a dream of becoming a superstar. When he first arrived on the music scene, critics were dubbing him the next Michael Jackson (huh?) or Justin Timberlake. Now he’s causing tween riots riots around the world, making 3-year-olds cry, and performing with the likes of Usher. Katy Perry and cougars everywhere want to bonk him; Kim Kardashian wants to set him up with her little sis; lesbians everywhere are rushing out to get his haircut; and every up-and-coming pre-pubescent boy wants to be the next him. After the jump, two young chaps who are being dubbed the next J-Bieb. Does this mean his three minutes are about to end? Keep reading »

Quotable: M.I.A. Is TOTALLY A Justin Bieber Fan

“If I’m honest, I find the new Justin Bieber video… more of an assault to my eyes and senses than what I’ve made.”

M.I.A., the Sri Lanken rapper behind my 2008 jam, “Paper Planes,” on Justin Bieber’s video for (probably, since she wasn’t specific) “One Time.” M.I.A. recently caused controversy with the video for her song “Born Free,” because of its overt violence and nudity. You know what’s more of an assault to my eyes than either of those videos? The Bieb’s hair. [Zeitgeisty Report] Keep reading »

Justin Bieber’s Most Wooden Performance


This ventriloquist has got a case of Justin Bieber Fever thanks to Everything Is Terrible. The rosy cheeks! Those bangs! That track! It’s the best art imitating life imitating art we’ve ever seen. And I bet it’ll make all the girlies like me scream, “I heart you JB!” Keep reading »

Quickies: The Next Susan Boyle, Taylor Momsen Swears On TV & Justin Bieber Takes Over Oprah

  • Is this woman the next Susan Boyle? [CNN]
  • Beyonce’s House of Dereon brand is expanding into home decor, starting with a line of bedding! Now you can stay warm at night with Sasha Fierce! [Luxist]
  • Silly Taylor Momsen. The oh-so-punk-rock “Gossip Girl” star swore on a British morning show. [Huffington Post]

Keep reading »

Proven Fact: Justin Bieber Inspires Violence

I haven’t quite figured out what it is about that little Bieber boy that causes his fans to turn into violent psychos. Yes, he “looks” like a lesbian with his perfectly coiffed hair that falls effortlessly over one eye, but is he really riot-worthy? Last night in New Zealand, a mob of tweens greeted him at the airport by stealing his hat and bulldozing his poor mother to the ground. Come on, kids. He can’t be that boink-able. [Huffington Post]

After the jump, some more violent Bieber incidents. Keep reading »

Are You Old Enough To Bonk Justin Bieber?

Not sure if you’re young enough for 16-year-old teen heartthrob Justin Bieber? The so, so wrong site In-N-Out Bieber is a handy-dandy service that figures out if your Bieber dreams are legal. I’m good to go in Alabama, Kentucky, or Oklahoma — but in New York, I’ve still got 304 days, 12 hours and 44 minutes to wait. (Sorry to disappoint you, Justin, but that stupid haircut doesn’t do it for me.)

Are you too old for Bieber, too? Cheer up: you might not be too old for Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber! [In-N-Out Bieber] Keep reading »

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