I’m baaaaaack! Did you miss me? In this week’s episode of What We Missed, I break out my Google Translation app in order to discuss the perks of having a major language barrier when romancing someone. For example, you’re forced to really listen to each other. Also, we reflect on the death of Justin Bieber’s hamster, mostly to mourn the downfall of society that such a thing is even a Twitter trending topic and to rail against people (celebs and commoners alike) who adopt/buy animals when they’re not fully prepared to care for them. (Also, I reveal my own crazy super fan past!) And lastly, we chat about recent stats about when women finally go makeup-free in front of new boyfriends. Personally, I go barefaced pretty early, but totally sneak out of bed in the morning to brush my teeth before he wakes up. I put off exposing him to my morning breath for as long as possible! Watch the episode above and share your thoughts on all these stories in the comments!
I’m pretty sure it’s official: Justin Bieber is losing it. After passing out during a concert last night, then tweeting a shirtless photo of himself in the hospital shortly thereafter, Justin had what sounds to me like a bit of a meltdown in London this morning. And it all got caught on video. Justin hopped out of his SUV and lunged at a paparazzo, screaming “I’ll fucking beat the fuck out of you!” as his handlers attempt to restrain him. At first this news kind of delighted me, because I love a good celebrity mental decline, and all the signs are there — the fainting, the gas mask, the suspicious lateness, The Black Keys altercation, the butt-baring Instagram photos, the rumored sizzurp — but then I watched the video and felt pretty awful. The photog is really, really fucking nasty, and Biebs and his crew look exhausted. It’s easy to forget that the kid is 19 and super-sensitive and impressionable, and it seems like he might be Lohan-ing a little bit. Sad. I would not want to be Justin Bieber, that’s for sure. [Gossip Cop] [Photo: FameFlynet]
Over the weekend and this past Wednesday night, The Notorious J.J. Biebs was seen attempting to evade ferocious fans and paparazzi by donning a gas mask. If there’s one thing that makes it obvious you’re trying to evade your fans and paparazzi it’s wearing a gas mask, right? In any case, this photo, taken as Bieber Fever Patient Zero was leaving Mr. Chows in London, is just begging for your creative caption. So tell us, what’s happening to good ol’ Justin B. here?
Selena Gomez is 20 now, right? And the expiration date on her devil’s pact with Disney has passed, right? Okay, good. So that means it’s fine, and totally legal, to say that she looks insanely hot wearing this Atelier Versace pantsuit at the “Spring Breakers” premiere in Germany. This look is the perfect combination of fashion-y “girl hot” (it’s a gold-embellished pinstripe pantsuit) and “guy hot” (that, uh, sternum is pretty killer). Selena is freakin’ gorgeous, and I can’t wait to see what she does sans Bieber. I mean, poor Justin. At least he has sizzurp (and his boys “Lil Za” and “Lil Twist”) to keep him warm at night.
DRAMZ ALERT! Apparently, ever-charming Black Keys member Patrick Carney said some sort of disparaging comments about Justin Bieber (Patrick Carney, you should probably get a hobby or something), lambasting young Biebs for not winning any Grammys. “Grammys are for like music, not for money … and he’s making a lot of money,” Carney said to TMZ backstage at the Grammys. “He should be happy.” Except, this being Justin Bieber, a small bit of dried mayonnaise crust on the cultural sandwich of America, he was not happy. In response, he tweeted, “the black keys drummer should be slapped around haha.” Well, J.Biebs, you could probably hire your fellow Grammy-ignored buddy Chris Brown to do that.
In the meantime, Biebs’ frightening roiling hormone army, the Beliebers, have taken to tweeting at young Patrick. Enjoy the tweets after the jump!
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It looks Justin Bieber is adapting to single life quite nicely. This week, he got to second base with a fan at a Florida meet-and-greet. Or maybe he was just squeezing her boob to help prevent breast cancer. How gentlemanly of him! Either way, the girl appears to be enjoying it very much. I hope Selena Gomez was out grabbing a penis somewhere. [ONTD]
Click through for more celebs getting felt up.