While it looks like all is well for Jay Z and Beyonce (PHEW!), another beloved American couple is on the rocks, threatening to destroy my faith in everlasting love. According to TMZ, Mama June and Sugar Bear from TLC’s “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” and parents to its star pageant queen Alana, are headed for divorce after June discovered Sugar Bear (real name: so what, who cares) cheating on her and kicked him to the curb. Apparently, June has repeatedly caught Sugar Bear trolling online dating sites, including Plenty O’ Fish where his profile handle is “Georgiafighter31054.” Though June and Sugar Bear never married, they had been together for years and Sugar Bear was a de facto father to June’s other children, Pumpkin, Chubbs and Chickadee. They also had a commitment ceremony last year, which was filmed for their TLC show. TMZ says June is over Sugar Bear’s trifling ways and plans on moving out and taking the kids with her. This is so disappointing. Wasn’t June’s biscuit enough for him? Did Sugar Bear stop seeing the beautimousness of her forklift foot? You know what, it’s Sugar Bear’s loss. June deserves someone who appreciates all the vajiggle jaggle she has to offer. [TMZ] [Photo: Splash News]
I have something to live for again. “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” is returning this Sunday. If this preview is any indication, the second season should be just as happy-making as the first. Mama June reveals her fear of mayonnaise. (It looks like June and I have something else in common besides our age! I’m also a mayonnaise-o-phobe!) She says she had a babysitter growing up who made her eat mayonnaise sandwiches for breakfast, lunch and dinner. VOM. I feel the visceral pain of that. In the video above, Chubbs tries to school Mama on the virtues of mayonnaise. “It’s just like ketchup, but it’s white.” But Chubbs doesn’t eat it because she’s a vegetarian, to which Pumpkin replies: “Marannaise does not have meat in it. You cannot be a vegetarian because of marannaise … Marannaise is something you put on a sammich.” God, I missed Pumpkin. Meanwhile, Honey Boo Boo scoops marannaise into a giant bowl, inducing a panic attack in June. [Us Weekly]
Last week, the Screen Junkies Show convinced actor Christopher Walken to read lines from “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” and the video went viral. This week, Alana and her mom June returned the favor, reading lines delivered by Walken in movies like “True Romance” and “Pulp Fiction,” as well as his infamous call for “more cowbell!” on “Saturday Night Live.” Hilarious, all around.
Presented without comment (except to say I love this family!). [Photo: Splash News]
It took me all of 10 seconds to fall madly in love with “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” the “Toddlers and Tiaras” spin-off about Alana Thompson, the 6-year-old pageant hopeful known for her one-liners and love of Go-Go-Juice, and her self-described redneck family. While I was already enamored with Alana after seeing her on “Toddlers and Tiaras” last year — for being, essentially, the opposite of everything the pageant world wants their living dolls to be — but “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” sold me on the entire Thompson family. What Alana, June, Sugar Bear, Pumpkin, Chubbs, and Chickadee lack in traditional etiquette and higher education, they make up for in love, acceptance, and family values. Keep reading »