Of all the places where you could possibly pick up a guy, a party is a pretty safe bet. After all, presumably all the guests have been vetted, and if anyone seems interesting, you can get the 411 without even Googling. Asking the host about their friend may be old-school, but it’s also effective. After all, his Facebook page isn’t going to tell you he left his last girlfriend for a guy or that the red spot on his lower lip is marinara sauce, not the herp (or vice versa).
But parties are also fraught with rules that you don’t have to worry about if you’re scamming for man-flesh at a bar. At a bar, you’re surrounded by strangers you’ll never see again. At a party, everyone’s going to remember (and remind you) if you behave badly. So here are a couple tips to help you avoid getting crossed off everyone’s guest list. Keep reading »
You’ve met his friends; he’s met yours. Now it’s time to add fruity cocktails and mix. Short of introducing your parents to his, combining your two sets of friends—especially if they exist in very different worlds—is one of the most nerve-wracking milestones in a relationship. And since summertime is party time, it’s probably going to happen in the next month or so. Here are a few steps you can take to make sure it’s not a complete disaster. Keep reading »
I had no sooner finished dry-heaving over my friend’s tale of the ordeal involved in getting her dog’s anal glands expressed, when I stumbled upon yet another article—written by a psychologist named Dr. Suzanne Phillps, Psy.D—extolling the benefits of treating your partner as you do your pet. I understand that it’s hard to think about new ways to write about relationships, but can we quit equating beasts with boys? (Dogs are far more loyal!) Keep reading »
Sometimes I’m thinking that I love you/But I know it’s only lust. —Gang of Four
Think about it—they’re both four-letter words, both start with the letter “L,” and both can cause us to completely lose our freakin’ minds … it’s no wonder we get lust confused with love. But despite their similarities, love and lust are two very different animals. True, lust can evolve into love, and if you love someone, you (hopefully) lust after them, but it’s also very easy to fall deeply in lust with someone whom you’re never going to fall in love with. Here’s a handy guide for discerning the difference … Keep reading »
Whether you’ve known him for 15 years or 15 minutes (naughty!), the first time you sleep with a new partner can be a pretty nerve-wracking experience. Though jitters can add to the thrill, they can also psych you out. I mean, you’re getting naked in front of a new person! One who’s presumably never seen that tragic unicorn tattoo on your left hip or noticed that your left breast is just a teeny bit bigger than the right. And now this guy … he’s going to put his presumably wrapped penis where? Yikes!
Luckily, we ladies don’t have to worry about premature ejaculation or weak wood, but still—who wants to be a lame-o in the sack? To ascertain exactly what makes a woman “good in bed,” I called in an expert: porn star, James Deen. Keep reading »
Not to put too grim a spin on it, but it’s a fact that most relationships eventually end, and most of us have been on both sides of the breakup equation. Here’s a brief guide to handling being either end—the dumper or the dumpee. Keep reading »
When I discovered one long-term, live-in ex had been cheating on me—long after we’d split—I was shocked. I’d had my suspicions, but he’d always been so judgmental about philandering friends and sanctimonious about his own fidelity, I figured I was just the jealous crazy lady he kept accusing me of being. So when he broke up with me, I had no clue as to why and desperately tried to talk him into loving me again. (It was every bit as humiliating as that sentence would lead you to believe.)
I have yet to experience the pain-free breakup, but I wondered if knowing the truth about this situation would’ve helped me heal faster. I mean, I’ve been less than up-front with certain guys I’ve broken up with. So when isn’t honesty the best policy? Keep reading »
I don’t care how in love you are. No matter how much naked-couple time you log, how often you finish each other’s sentences—even if you regularly eat up hours marveling at the beauty that is your unique, special snowflake of love, every relationship has its ups and downs.
Rare is the couple that can’t handle the highs. Sure, you hear about the occasional marriage that breaks up over lottery windfalls (or when the female half wins an Academy Award, ahem), but for the most part, good fortune is a breeze. It’s the rough stuff that puts your love to the test. And what could be harder to handle than the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?!
Read on … Keep reading »
My pal Stella* is going through a terrible breakup with a horrible man. Like most of us, Stella knows how to deal with their split (time, wine, chocolate, more wine, more time), but she was concerned about the bigger picture. Why had she gotten herself mixed up with this jackass in the first place? Or the moron before him? Or the cad prior to that one?
Being a sensible lady, Stella called her old therapist in order to get some perspective and guidance. Surely a licensed professional would have some clue.
Sure enough, she did. After giving my friend a dose of very tough love, Ms. Shrinky Dink gave her a list of questions to ask the next man she considers dating. According to the good doctor, the answers will tell her everything she needs to know before getting in too deep. Keep reading »
One of the more cringe-inducing memories I have of my teen years is playing the Buzzcocks’ “I Believe” over and over, as I sobbed alone in my twin-sized bed. In particular, the line “There. Is. No. Love. In. This. World. Any-moooooooore!” always sent me into paroxysms of tears. I was positive—one-hundred-percent convinced—that life would be perfect if only I had a boyfriend.
Boy, was I wrong! Keep reading »