As a wise man once told me, there’s not much a woman can do to make herself completely unappealing to every guy at a bar. After all, a bar contains all the essential elements to romance—booze, dim lighting, and the sweet, sweet smell of desperation.
However, as difficult as it is to come off… More »
Let’s face it, the best thing about reality TV is its ability to make ourselves feel better about our own lives. Bumming ‘bout your bubble butt—hey, at least you’re not as large as the peeps on “The Biggest Loser.” Angry your boyfriend cheated? Jerry Springer will make you grateful he was banging some coworker, and… More »
Remember when you were a kid and you couldn’t wait to get older? Whether it was a driver’s license, an ID that let you drink legally, or your own grown-up apartment, being older just seemed so much more glamorous. So mature.
Then at some point all the good parts about aging start to fall… More »
At a long-ago birthday party, my cartoonist friend Peter gave me a framed piece of his artwork. As he handed it over, he said, “This is for you, so no matter what happens with him, it’s yours.” At the time I thought it was weird. After all, my boyfriend and I were never ever going… More »
Second only to his inexplicable ardor for overhead lighting, my boyfriend Spyro’s extreme loathing for travel is probably our number-one topic of, uh, discussion.
I love to travel and I’m not picky—I’ll go pretty much anywhere my credit cards can afford to take me. Once I decide where I’m going, I carefully research the… More »
The first time someone tried to rob me, it was four in the morning. I was in a desolate part of town, I was tipsy, and it was my birthday. A guy came up from behind my sister and me and tried to grab her purse. Without even thinking, I grabbed it back and screamed,… More »
When I read the gossip about Vanessa Paradis allegedly feeling so threatened by her man Johnny Depp’s upcoming on-screen sex scene with Angelina Jolie that she “forbade” him to take part in it, I rolled my eyes. Yeah, right.
My boyfriend, however, didn’t think this was a ridiculous rumor at all. “I think she’s… More »
I make no apologies for having dated a vast collection of maniacs, freaks, weirdos and losers. Sometimes—OK, often—I’m embarrassed when one of these ghosts from The Dark Years pops up, but mostly I look at my romantic history as a protracted, occasionally painful, thankfully non-contagious, learning experience.
It’s easy (for me, anyway) to look… More »
There is possibly nothing more soul-destroying than finding out someone you love is loving on another.
The first time I was cheated on, I was out at a club with my very first boyfriend. I noticed a beautiful girl across the room staring at him, then the band started playing, things got loud… More »
Contrary to what your mama might have told you, “just be yourself” is not always the best advice. Almost all of us have something we’re insecure about, and while years of pricey therapy might eventually banish self-doubt, I’ve found that the best way to get over it in the short-term is to refuse to acknowledge… More »
I know, I know … the point is to have a magical, fantastical, romantical Valentine’s Day … the kind of evening that makes you tear up and blush in the re-telling, while your less-fortunate girlfriends snarl and gnash their teeth in envy.
Sadly, having the perfect V-Day isn’t easy. For one thing, unless you’re… More »
You know how experts claim that most couples fight over sex or money? Not in my tiny apartment, which I share with a 6’5″ dude and two cats. What we fight over is décor.
If he were in charge of our home, everything would be bright, white, and utilitarian. There’d be no blood-red living… More »
The other day I was on the phone with a girlfriend, dissecting an argument she’d just had with her man, when it occurred to me that though I’m certain her boyfriend wasn’t happy about their fight, I highly doubted he was giving his bestie the play-by-play. In fact, I doubt he mentioned it to anyone. More »
Common knowledge of the dating variety dictates that unless you’re looking for heartache, you should stay away from musicians and bartenders.* While, yes, within every stereotype there is a grain of truth, I don’t think it’s fair to paint all these guys with the same bourbon-soaked brush. I know many perfectly sweet guitarists and gin-slingers… More »
First dates are always nerve-wracking—that’s a given. So many questions! Where will we go? What if I’m gassy? Should I let him pay or should I offer to split the tab? What will we talk about? Will he like me? More importantly, will I like him?
All valid queries, but possibly the most pressing… More »
A couple months ago I discovered that the husband half of a couple I’ve known for years was leaving his wife for one of his grad students. I was shocked. I mean, I’ve had friends go through relationship ups and downs before, but this couple was one I’d always looked up to as a relationship… More »
Have you seen that Target commercial where the guy gives his date a beautiful necklace, only to have the woman look kind of uncomfortable and announce that she didn’t think they were quite “there” yet? After a flash of hurt crosses his face, he zings back that he bought it at Target so it was… More »
Before she met her fiancé, my friend Michelle was the biggest flirt on the Eastern Seaboard. If she spotted a guy she wanted to talk to, she’d walk right up, tilt her head to one side and ask a completely inane question. At bars, the question was inevitably, “What are you drinking? That looks really… More »
I am a huge fan of online dating. I met my long-term boyfriend on Nerve.com and the majority of the weddings I’ve been to over the past few years have been between people who met online. Though I still have friends who are reluctant to try it (you know who you are!), I encourage every… More »
Out of all the seven deadly sins, Envy is probably the least attractive (with Gluttony hot on its heels). Lust, Greed, and Pride have practically become virtues in modern times and who’s going to deny a girl a little Wrath when she’s been wronged? Sloth? Well, hey, everybody needs to sleep in once in a… More »