Tag Archives: juan pablo galavis

Source: Clare Crawley Wasn’t Picked To Be “The Bachelorette” Because She Had Sex With Juan Pablo

  • Fucking Juan Pablo in the ocean really screwed Clare: a source tells the blog Hollywood Life that she was in consideration to be “The Bachelorette,” but they were afraid they would lose viewers over her sexual behavior. As you certainly remember, Clare snuck over to Juan Pablo’s cabana one night and they had sex in the waves. (He later told Clare, “I loved fucking you.”) In the end, the source said, the producers decided Andi Dorfman was a “safer choice.” Amelia calls bullshit on this story because A) Clare is boring and no one really wants to watch her, period, and B) they rarely pick the runner-up because filming for the new season happens too soon after the other ends. [Hollywood Life]
  • Wesley Warren Jr., the man who recently had his 132 lb. scrotum removed, has died from unrelated health issues. [TMZ]
  • Add former “Laguna Beach” star Kristen Cavallari to the list of dumb-dumb celebs who refuse to vaccinate their kids because of autism fears. [Gawker]
  • A picture of Harry Styles wearing a Native American headdress has actually gotten One Directioners — who are not the most, shall we say, well-reasoned bunch — talking about cultural appropriation. Whoa. [Daily Mail UK] Keep reading »

It Takes A Douche To Know A Douche: John Mayer Explains Juan Pablo

  • John Mayer revealed on Instagram that he owns a book which explains people’s facial expressions to ascertain their feelings. And John has helpfully referred to this “super dense esoterica” to share his thoughts about Juan Pablo with us: “The Bachelor”‘s YouTube-video-loving jerk demonstrates “contempt with some disgust, with a sadness brow.” Interesting.  [US Weekly]
  • The list of celebrities that Seth Rogen has gotten high with might surprise you. [Gawker]
  • Dating tips from “Princeton Mom”: Netflix and Seamless are making you single and fat. [And happy, thanks. -- Amelia] [New York Post]
  • Somehow, “butt selfie queen” Jen Selter has made it into Vanity Fair. [Vanity Fair] Keep reading »

“Bachelor” Juan Pablo Galavis Made A YouTube Video Publicly Declaring He “Adores” Nikki Ferrell

"Bachelor" Juan Pablo Made A YouTube Video Publicly Declaring He "Adores" Nikki
So Many RANDOM Words CAPITALIZED!

Fresh of the disastrous season finale of “The Bachelor” and his appearance on “After the Final Rose,” douchenozzle Juan Pablo Galavis is kinda backtracking on his promise that he and final rose recipient Nikki Ferrell would be conducting their relationship privately. See, he posted this YouTube video about he and Nikki’s relationship yesterday, featuring photos of the two together as a song called “Adventures In Loving You” (which I guess Juan Pablo helped write) plays over top. The video starts and ends with some text written by Juan Pablo in his trademark style (USING randomly capitalized WORDS for NO DISCERNIBLE reason), declaring finally, “Te adoro.” “Te adoro,” incase you didn’t know, is Spanish for “Everyone wants me to say that I love you, but I don’t because I’m a jackass with the emotional depth of Carrot Top’s left nutsack, so I’m saying I adore you instead, which is not the same thing, hope no one notices.” (I’m guessing the word “loving” in name of the song is just love-love not in-love love.)

Best of all, this is not the first cheesy YouTube video Juan Pablo has made about a significant other! Buzzfeed noticed that Juan Pablo made a similar video for his ex-wife/baby mama back in 2009. Check it out after the jump! [Buzzfeed] Keep reading »

“Bachelor” Jerk Juan Pablo Whines About Not Having Any Privacy

  • Giant man baby Juan Pablo is angry with “The Bachelor” producers, posting a picture of himself and this season’s winner Nikki on Instagram yesterday with a caption saying they are finally “FREE.” He has complained that producers gave him “no privacy” and “wanted to know too much about his personal life.” Juan Pablo knows he signed up for a reality TV show about his personal life, right? [US Weekly]
  • “Star Trek” star Chris Pine was arrested for drunk driving in New Zealand earlier this month. [US Weekly]
  • This is awesome: “Law & Order: SVU” star Mariska Hargitay helped catch a real-life rapist through her organization that raises money to test the DNA of backlogged rape kits. [NYmag.com The Cut]
  • Leave it to Tilda Swinton to say something amazing about Vladimir Putin: “Russia has the gayest president ever. No, that’s an offensive thing to say — not to him, but to the gay community.” [The Daily Beast] Keep reading »

The Best & Worst Moments From Last Night’s Finale Of “The Bachelor”

The Best & Worst Moments From Last Night's Finale Of "The Bachelor"

Normally, the two-hour finale of “The Bachelor” and the subsequent hour of “After the Final Rose” are bloated with filler scenes and not-at-all exciting revelations. Even though this season of “The Bachelor” has been unlike any other, in that, you know, Juan Pablo Galavis is not fit to marry anyone and has been all-around terrible, I thought we got the full extent of his doucheitude in every other episode, and this one would be fairly boring and tame. After all, it’s been obvious for weeks that — SPOILER ALERT! – he was going to choose Nikki in the end and Clare was going to be “left brokenhearted.” Well consider me very, very surprised that I found all three hours of last night’s episode to be a complete car wreck of delights. Let’s review the episode’s best and worst moments and then celebrate that Juaaaaaan-uary is finally fucking over. Keep reading »

Last Night’s Big Fight On “The Bachelor” Basically Came Down To The Word “Default”

Well, “The Bachelor” has kind of duped me again. It’s my fault for thinking there was even a chance that last night’s “nightmare fantasy suite” episode would live up to the hype of the teasers, but alas, Andi did not break up with Juan Pablo because he tried to pull a switcheroo and stuck it in her butt during the overnight dates. While that may have happened — girlfriend is walking kinda slowly the morning after (as you’ll see in a clip after the jump) — Andi’s reason for dumping Juan Pablo was the sudden realization that he’s a self-absorbed, uninteresting douchebag. Um … it took until the second to last episode to figure that out? Maybe not! After the jump, my assessment of last night’s debacle — which included a lengthy fight over whether Juan Pablo would use the word “default” (I’m serious!) — and some thoughts on who the next “Bachelorette” could be. Keep reading »

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