• Nick Jonas says he’s always wanted to be president. [U.S. News]—I’m not even thinking about the year 2040 yet.
• Kelly Osbourne has revealed her past Vicodin addiction in her book Fierce, due out in September. [Access Hollywood]—You’d think someone whose father had such terrible bouts with addiction would stay away from drugs. But then again, common sense and addiction don’t really go together.
• Heidi Montag-Pratt has thanked Anderson Cooper for ripping apart her performance of “Body Language” at the Miss Universe Pageant, an event he called a “fresh new way to embarrass herself.” [PopEater]—Score one for Anderson!

As if tweens around the planet didn’t already swoon at the mere mention of the Jonas brothers, Joe Jonas had to make their pitter-pattering hearts go into early palpitations by crying in front of an arena of fans because of his breakup with Camilla Belle. The middle Jonas brother broke into sobs last night while playing a show in Detroit and it was projected for all to see on the megatron. The commentary of “OH MY GOD he’s crying!!!” by the two Jonas fanatics in the background of the video is to die for. Whether this is a monumental embarrassment for Joe Jonas or his great scheme to win Camilla back, it’s not the first time a celeb has broken down in the public eye after a breakup. [LA Times Blog]

Here are a few more examples of celebs who couldn’t hold it together after being dumped

The gold jacket is so going to become this generation’s version of Michael Jackson’s black and red “Thriller” jacket. [Madrid, Spain, 6/14/09]

People‘s 100 Most Beautiful People issue has hit newsstands, and the editors have gone Jonas mad. Both Nick Jonas (right), 16, and Joe Jonas (left), 19, made the cut. But aren’t you forgetting someone? Looks like Kevin Jonas (middle), 21, has been put on another list—the long list of celebrity siblings that never quite live up to their golden siblings. [MTV]

“We wouldn’t really want a girl we dated to be a fan.”—Kevin Jonas [NYPost.com]

Ummm, don’t all the girls who supposedly like the Jonas Brothers’ music really just wish they could be one of the boys’ girlfriends?

MUSIC

• Jonas Brothers A Little Bit Longer The Jonas Brothers have put out! Sadly, we mean just another record.  Despite the suggestive title, the handsome teen trio won’t give it or the music biz up anytime soon and they’re pretty hip for being squares.
• The Cure “The Perfect Boy (Mix 13)” While Robert Smith has been a bit of a Debbie Downer, singing sad songs since the ‘90s, it looks like even he’s coming back with the ‘80s. The Cure just released a new single, “The Perfect Boy”, and it’s as sexy as the guy it’s about. No word on whether Smith has wiped off his runny mascara and smeared lipstick look too, but hey, at least he still sounds good!

The current issue of Rolling Stone features the Hotness Award-nominated band the Jonas Brothers. I was a nanny for an 8-year old not too long ago and while she introduced me to the magical world of Miley Cyrus, I have never been able to like the Jonas Brothers because she sang that song “Year 3000” at the top of her lungs 24/7 and let me tell you, it was annoying. But I did learn something new from reading RS’ profile of the hugely, insanely, mega popular band. According to Dr. Louannn Brizendine, author of The Female Brain:

“There’s a thing in biology we call synchrony. Basically, one girl affects another affects another, and it becomes a domino effect building up to that level of hysteria. They are getting all these brain hits of dopamine, and also oxytocin, which is a love-and-bonding hormone. Teenage girls have so much estrogen, which just catapults the level of dopamine and oxytocin in the brain, creating this sort of ecstatic rush in themselves and others. It truly is a state of ecstatic love.”

That explains the masses of crying teens whose fingers graze against Nick Jonas’ arm or the hoards of fans who welcomed the Beatles to America in 1964. It also explains why I contemplated suicide when I didn’t get Pearl Jam tickets in 1992 (my dad eventually forked over money to a scalper and saved my life). So, if the statement above is true, who had that ecstatic power over your teenage heart?

1. She & Him
2. The Ting-Tings
3. Vampire Weekend
4. The Jonas Brothers

Everywhere I look, those dang Jonas Brothers are there, torturing me with memories. Memories of what, you may ask? Hanson. That painfully annoying threesome of brothers from the ‘90s who performed that song “Mmm Bop”. Just like the Jonas Brothers, the young one was sweet and adorable, the middle one was the one the girls peed their pants over, and the older one got hit with the ugly stick. I HATED Hanson. They gave me the heebie-jeebies. Why is it that teen girls are still drawn to this crap?

Over a decade after Britney claimed she was saving herself for marriage, the Jonas Brothers, a popular teeny-bopper boy band, have decided to take a vow of celibacy too. The trio of short, dark, and handsome teens told Details Magazine that they even bought rings to commemorate their commitment to chastity from Disney World and Tiffany’s. (How punk rock!) Although it’s not actually working as kryptonite for their hordes of screaming girl groupies, the Christian rockers turned pop stars, who are now owned by Disney, want to stay shining examples of purity.  Their tour director, Rob Brenner, who had worked with Spears, sees abstinence as a way to keep the boys focused and grounded, while avoiding the pitfalls (i.e. drugs, pregnancy, general craziness) of other stars who make it big when they’re young.