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The Man With The World’s Longest Penis Has Advice For Jon Hamm

Long Vs. Short Penises
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“I’m willing to bet his problem is his balls … Balls cause the most bulges. His penis is not going down his pant leg like mine. I prefer constriction myself … As you get older, your balls drop and need support. If it’s his penis that’s causing the problem, he can point it up like European men … He needs to just nod and chuckle, but not answer any questions.”

– Jonah Falcon, the man with the world’s largest penis, gives Jon Hamm unsolicited advice on how to handle his bulge. I just kept reading this over and over again thinking, This isn’t real. Point it up like European men? Is that a thing? I’m dying.I’m sorry Jon Hamm, I know you’ll think I’m rude for posting this, I just couldn’t resist. [Huffington Post]

The 11 Most Amazing Penises

Men, how do you know you’re well-endowed? Oh, when your penis is mistaken for a weapon of mass destruction. Jonah Falcon, the man presumed to have the world’s largest penis (although Guinness World Records has not been down in his pants to confirm), aroused suspicion at the San Francisco International Airport when passing through security.

At nine inches flaccid and 13.5 inches at full mast, it’s not surprising that airport security suspected his “very noticeable” bulge might have been an explosive device. “I had my ‘stuff” strapped to the left. I wasn’t erect at the time … One of the guards asked if my pockets were empty and I said, ‘Yes.’ I said, ‘It’s my d**k.’ He gave me a pat down … They even put some powder on my pants, probably a test for explosives. I found it amusing,” said the 41-year-old New Yorker. Falcon joked that next time he’s “just going to wear bike shorts” when traveling. Great idea, Jonah! Click on through to see more of the most amazing d**ks that have ever existed. [Mirror UK]

Jonah Falcon Brings The World’s Longest Penis To “The Daily Show”

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Jonah Falcon Needs a Job
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Dude With Biggest Penis In The World Is Unemployed

 

And you thought you had it hard in this economy. Not even Jonah Falcon, the man with the biggest penis in the world, can find a job. At 39, Falcon, whose penis is 13.5 inches long, is among the ranks of the unemployed. While he’s worked as a freelance journalist, his dream is to become a screenwriter. He thought his big break had come when HBO created a series about a well-endowed male prostitute, “Hung.” Tragically, they didn’t want Falcon or his expertise. Nowadays, he spends his time looking for work and living with his mom. You’d think he might make a foray into the adult movie industry during these trying times, but he refuses. If he did porn, he says, “Nobody would take me seriously. Nobody.” You’d think there’s be some way for a guy with his, er, talent to make money. Hmmm … Can’t you girls think of something? [Huffington Post] Keep reading »

A List Every Guy Would Love To Be On

The website AltPenis.com compiled a list of the ten greatest penises of all time, but instead of depending on size as the end all, be all criteria for determining the list, the focus was on the myth and lore of the piece itself. Howard Stern (known for being very, very average), Jonah Falcon (known for being very, very large), and John Holmes (just very, very well-known) make an appearance. Can you guess the others? [AltPenis.com] (Link is NSFW if you consider a big weiner in a jar to be racy.) Keep reading »

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