I know Jon Hamm is tired of being objectified by the media for his impossible to ignore large twig-and-berries situation. But as much as I would truly love to honor his request and talk about more important things, like Ryan Gosling’s abs, or Channing Tatum’s butt, or Megan Fox’s toe thumbs, I can’t. Because Jon Hamm’s bulge is all up in my face every time I log onto the celeb paparazzi sites. Jon Hamm’s balls, comin’ at my face, every single day. I’m sorry, Jon. Please don’t be mad. I promise to try harder tomorrow. [Photos: Fame/Flynet]
“I’m willing to bet his problem is his balls … Balls cause the most bulges. His penis is not going down his pant leg like mine. I prefer constriction myself … As you get older, your balls drop and need support. If it’s his penis that’s causing the problem, he can point it up like European men … He needs to just nod and chuckle, but not answer any questions.”
– Jonah Falcon, the man with the world’s largest penis, gives Jon Hamm unsolicited advice on how to handle his bulge. I just kept reading this over and over again thinking, This isn’t real. Point it up like European men? Is that a thing? I’m dying.I’m sorry Jon Hamm, I know you’ll think I’m rude for posting this, I just couldn’t resist. [Huffington Post]
“Most of it’s tongue-in-cheek, but it is a little rude. It just speaks to a broader freedom that people feel like they have — a prurience. They’re called ‘privates’ for a reason. I’m wearing pants, for fuck’s sake. Lay off. … I mean, it’s not like I’m a fucking lead miner. There are harder jobs in the world. But when people feel the freedom to create Tumblr accounts about my cockk, I feel like that wasn’t part of the deal [of fame]. But whatever, I guess it’s better than being called out for the opposite.”
An interview with Rolling Stone magazine reveals Jon Hamm is not amused by our slideshow about his balls. That’s fine. We understand and we’re sorry. (Not really.) But if comes from a place of love, okay, Jon? [US Weekly]
Call it the bulge seen ’round the world, Jon, Jr., or the only body part more distracting than Christina Hendricks’ decolletage on the set of “Mad Men.” No matter what you call Jon Hamm’s now-famously impressive penis, it’s causing a stir in Hollywood.
Last September, Jon Hamm was photographed going for a leisurely walk through New York City with his girlfriend of 15 years, Jennifer Westfeldt. Aside from the usual excitement over a celebrity spotting, two things were very obvious about the photos: Jon wasn’t wearing underwear, and the guy is extremely well-endowed. Read more…
God bless Jon Hamm and his floppy, free-spirited junk. That man’s cock and balls are all over the place and he just doesn’t seem to mind at all. Not that we’re complaining. We enjoy gawking, trying to understand what’s going on his pants.
But apparently the execs at AMC don’t share in our joy of Jon’s junk. A confidential source said that Hamm was instructed to bridle his balls for this season of “Mad Men.” Keep reading »
There were a lot of moments in 2012 that stood out, that burst forth, rose in prominence and were hard to ignore. These 12 moments in celebrity bulges were our favorites. We hope they’re swelling with pride.
“I had a 13-year-old girl come up to me in Colorado — this is a dead true story — and say, ‘Well, you’re a wealthy white male … why are you here?’ And I was like, first of all, that’s the greatest question I’ve been asked on this entire tour. But secondly, she had conflated somehow in her head that only people vote for their own kind. And I made sure to tell her that that’s absolutely not the case. I vote for what I think is best for all of us. Not simply for me. And that’s unfortunately the message that the other side wants to get across, is you just take care of yourself and you build a fence around yourself and no one else gets help. That’s not how I was raised, that’s not the America I wanna live in and that’s not the America that I believe in.”
– This is Jon Hamm (and girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt in the background) campaigning for Obama 2012 out in Colorado … and giving me another reason to want to bone him. [BuzzFeed] [Photo: Frankenteen.Tumblr.com]
Well, lookie here. “Mad Men”‘s next season is eons away, but at least a couple of the cast members — Jon Hamm as Don Draper and Jessica Pare as Megan Draper — are filming in Hawaii this week. So what can we infer from Don’s choice in beach reading? Nothing is done without purpose on “Mad Men,” so I’ve got to wonder what Don is thinking reading Dante’s Inferno. Click on to see more photos of the Mr. and Mrs. on the beach…
I’m not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed, but Jon Hamm’s now-famous bulge and balls appear downright ordinary in these new photos. But that’s opened my eyes to something else about Hamm — he’s got quite a nice rump! [Photos: Fame/Flynet]