Kate Gosselin, whose hair keeps getting bigger and waistline continues to shrink, sat down with “Today”‘s Natalie Morales for a one-hour interview set to air tonight on TLC. The “Today” Show aired a few minutes of the interview this morning, during their daily dose of Gosselin. We learned that Kate is still sad and Jon, who spoke out in a New York City synagogue last night with Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, a spiritual adviser to the stars, “is sorry” for his bad-boy behavior in the months since he and Kate announced their divorce. He explains: “It’s hard for a man to stay home for two years and change diapers and make meals and deal with, like, doctors appointments and all the stuff you expect your wife to do.” So, naturally, when he got a taste of freedom, he had to, you know, do what a man has to do—neglect his kids and boink 22-year-olds! Clip above.

In a tear-filled, two-part interview airing on “The Insider” tonight and tomorrow night, Jon Gosselin‘s girlfriend, 22-year-old Hailey Glassman, breaks down while talking about how her life has changed since she began seeing Jon. The above clip aired on “Good Morning America” earlier, with Hailey crying that Jon is abusing her by taking out his frustrations on her:

“He’ll call me and take his anger out on me. He has ‘mantrums.’ I shouldn’t have to put up with being emotionally abused. I cry and say, ‘Why are you so mean to me?’ He takes it out on me.”

“I’ve done enough years on TV that I feel like it’s a normal, comfortable, natural place to be. I’d love to be in a movie at some point, I’d love to be the voice of a cartoon character in a movie for my kids. I think that would be fun.”

— Kate Gosselin answered “any and all reasonable questions” on last night’s episode of “Jon & Kate Plus 8.” When a viewer asked if she wanted to ever marry again, Kate replied:

“To be honest, I don’t know. I really don’t want to be married again, but I don’t want to be alone. The alone-ness is really alone.”

Who knew you could feel so alone with eight kids under your thumb? [via People.com]

How, how, have Jon and Kate Gosselin managed to milk a disintegrating marriage into months worth of drama that just won’t leave us alone? The latest in the debacle: TLC is suing Jon, saying that he’s used his concerns over his kidlets to wiggle out of his contract with the network. Their version of the story goes like this: They tried to contact Jon to let him know their intentions to change the show from “Jon and Kate Plus 8” to simply “Kate Plus 8,” but were unable to reach him before making the public announcement. The day the news broke, the production company received a call from Jon’s lawyer, giving them an hour to release him from his contractual agreement. When they refused, he went public saying that he thought filming the show through the divorce was detrimental to his kids’ health and filed paperwork barring filming from continuing. Basically, he gave them the ultimate middle finger.

Today is the ninth birthday of Jon and Kate Gosselin’s two oldest kids, twins Cara and Maddy, and for their special day they get parents bad-mouthing each other to the public and fighting over custody! Happy birthday, girls! Last night Jon Gosselin appeared on yet another show, this time Entertainment Tonight, with some choice words for his estranged wife (clip above). And when some guy with a camera caught him taking a smoke break during a shopping spree in New York yesterday afternoon, Jon had no problem sharing a personal email he received from Kate proposing a change of custody on the twins’ birthday.

Jon Gosselin just got served—and not by soon-to-be ex-wife Kate! The reality TV dad spent the weekend reportedly ransacking the couple’s joint bank account (he allegedly took $200,000, leaving Kate and the kids with a mere $1,000), and on Monday he brought his sideshow to “The Insider.” But he met his match in Nancy Grace because the “HLN” host would have none of it. Watch the video above as she rips him a new one, calling him out for his egotism and his dalliances with younger women.

They share the same initials and are both on the D-list, so it’s no wonder Kathy Griffin was happy to impersonate Kate Gosselin for a sketch that aired on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” Kathy didn’t really try to be Kate so much as she focused on tearing her a new one. Job well done!

It was bound to happen. The tabloid news story which has littered the covers of our favorite celeb weekly glossies is now getting even smuttier. “Jon & Kate F**k Eight” will be released by porn company Devil’s Film on Sept. 14 and, strangely enough, it will put a somewhat positive spin on the bitter divorce battle between Jon and Kate Gosselin. “In our movie they go to marriage counseling and come out with the suggestion that maybe they should go out there and bang other people,” explains Devil’s Film sales manager Steve Volpini. “So they do and then it turns out that after they sow their wild oats that they are meant to be together.” How romantic! The movie stars Riley Evans as Kate, Frankie Young as Jon, and Amy Starz, Evie Delatosso, Kristy West, Ashton Pierce, Ralph Long, Jenner, and Alex Gonz in various, er, supporting roles.

Last night Kate Gosselin was on “Larry King Live” where she reminded us again why we should all be on her side and not her estranged husband’s. She admits (with a little hesitancy) that Jon is a good father and that there’s a lot they agree on when it comes to raising their children, but she let it be known there are decisions he’s making that she wouldn’t necessarily make herself. Hmm ... like cavorting around with dates half her age and spending her children’s college fund on extravagant gifts like BMWs and porches for her summer flings, maybe? “I’m looking towards the future and the decisions of today that affect tomorrow ... more so than he is,” Kate said diplomatically. Asked whether she feels single, Kate replied, “I am not yet divorced ... officially.” “But how do you feel?” Larry pressed. “I don’t know,” she replied honestly. She admits that she’s lonely, but far too busy to even think about dating right now. I guess that’s another thing she and Jon differ on. Clip above.

Cops were called to the Gosselins’ house in Pennsylvania last night when Kate showed up unexpectedly. As Jon and Kate have mentioned to anyone who will listen, one of the unique ways they’re navigating their divorce, besides letting it play out in front of millions of people, is by keeping the kids in the house and taking turns staying with them. When it’s not Jon’s turn, he can be spotted gallivanting around with young women practically half his age. When it’s not her turn to stay with the kids, Kate, perhaps to her credit, tries to remain as close to them as possible, even if it means showing up at the house unannounced.

God willing, the Gosselins’ 15 minutes of fame will be but a flickering light come Halloween. But if the malevolent pop culture gods refuse our repeated offers of sacrificial Jonas Brothers, at least we’ll all have less frightening costumes this year than the Sarah Palin get-up of yore.

BuyCostumes.com, an online costume emporium, is hawking a Kate Gosselin wig, discreetly called the “Eight Is Too Much Adult Wig.” It captures the no-nonsense front and sassy back of Kate Gosselin’s trademark ‘do. It’s not really trademarked, but we wouldn’t put it past her to pursue that as a revenue source.

Unfortch, the $14.99 Kate Gosselin wig is sold out now, but once it re-stocks, you’ll be in Halloween heaven! Remember, loser ex-husband and crap parenting skills sold separately. [BuyCostumes.com]

Most fans of “Jon & Kate Plus 8” will admit that Kate Gosselin was a bit of a meanie before she and husband Jon decided to end their marriage. She berated him for the most miniscule of offenses, including breathing too loudly. When they announced their divorce on June 22, 62 percent of 102,000 PopEater readers took Jon’s side. Now, however, the tide is changing in Kate’s favor…

Jon Gosselin was all over the web today because he stepped out with his 22-year-old girlfriend in France over the weekend. Not one to be outdone, Kate Gosselin recently posted a profile video on Match.com in response to Jon’s profile video. OK, so it’s not really Kate, but the reverse mullet, mannerisms, and outfit are totally accurate in this Funny or Die video. Hopefully she’ll find someone who doesn’t mind an “obscene amount of stretch marks” and who will be just what Kate wants—a ninth child to boss around!

Seems like everything Kate Gosselin tries to do these days falls through. The woman is getting divorced, “Jon & Kate Plus 8” is postponed, the release date for her cookbook/family advice book, Love Is In The Mix: Making Meals Into Memories, was pushed back, and now mama Kate’s new clothing line for kids is “on hold.” Why any clothing company would think that because Kate has a bunch of kids, she has the fashion sense to design clothes for them (come on, look at that hair) is beyond me. And it seems Healthtex clothes may feel the same way…

• Kevin Jonas proposed to girlfriend Danielle Deleasa, who gladly accepted. [PopEater]—I still can’t tell the Jonases apart, but I’m probably not the only one.
• Michael Jackson reportedly named his mother Katharine as legal guardian of his children, and if something happens to her, then Diana Ross is supposed to take over the duty. [Dlisted]—Katharine seems like a good choice, but I wouldn’t want my children around Joe Jackson even if he isn’t legally in charge.
• Ryan O’Neal banned his eldest son Griffin from attending Farrah Fawcett’s funeral, even though he drove 300 miles to pay his respects. [Perez Hilton]

Nice bootylicious bikini Kate. But you’re not on vacation anymore—don’t you own some clothes? Also, please give your baby girl back her bonnet. [Reading, PA, 6/25/09]

• Daryl Hannah was arrested, along with 31 others, for protesting mountaintop removal mining in West Virginia. [PopEater] Finally, a celeb who was arrested for a good cause. Take a hint, Chris Brown.
• Known for taking things to the extreme, Courtney Love is now extremely skinny. Her backless dress flaunted—or revealed—her bony frame. [Daily Mail] – But Courtney isn’t worried—she says she’s excited that she can finally fit into designer sizes. Sad.
• Stop feeling bad for Leighton Meester—she most likely released her sex tape on purpose. Why on earth would she do that? Find out here. [Yahoo Shine]

Her smile is fake, the divorce is real…and we hope so is the ring. But we’re more confused by Kate Gosselin wearing a hat than anything! How can she deny the world the beauty that is her hair? [Reading, PA, 6/23/09]

Hello, perhaps you’ve been in a coma and are finally waking up after five months of unconsciousness. Allow me to get you up to speed: we have a new president, gay people can get married in Iowa now, your mom probably started Twittering, the world went ape-s**t over a Scottish woman with a nice voice and overgrown eyebrows, and that reality show on TLC with all the kids? The one with the sextuplets? You know, the show where the wife’s a real bitch and the husband’s totally lazy and they fight all the time in front of the kids? You haven’t heard of it? Well, it’s all anybody talks about these days — even more than the recession (yeah, that’s still going on)! Anyway, last night Jon and Kate — that’s the husband and wife on the show — announced that they’re separating and today TLC announced that they halting production of the show until August. Production will resume with the kids living at the house full-time, and Jon and Kate alternating. All of this makes me wonder whether the show will be renamed when it returns. I mean, how can they still call it “Jon and Kate Plus 8” when there’s not “Jon and Kate” anymore? After the jump, a few suggestions for a new title.

Sad, but anticlimactic. On last night’s episode of “Jon & Kate Plus 8,” after it was leaked online that divorce papers had been filed, Jon and Kate Gosselin confirmed their separation. As annoying as these two people are—seriously, we are sick of them being on the cover of our beloved Us Weekly—it’s sad to see the breakup of a family, especially one with so many young kids. We can’t help but wonder if Jon and Kate had never gotten a TV show and thus so much fame, would they be going through this right now? Guess we’ll never know. The future of the show is still up in the air, but I’m willing to bet it will be determined by the show’s rating this season—and whether the Gosselins are greedy as individuals, rather than a couple.