“They say I’m a womanizer. I say I haven’t met enough women.”
Tag Archives: john mayer
John Mayer doesn’t just open up to the paparazzi about private stuff with Jennifer Aniston—he composes ditties about her, too. Case in point: it doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to figure out that “Heartbreak Warefare,” the first song on Mayer’s new album, Battle Studies is about Aniston being hung up over Brad Pitt:
“Drop his name, push it in and twist the knife again
Watch my face, as I pretend to feel no pain
Clouds of sulfur in the air, bombs are falling everywhere
It’s heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin, no one ever wins at heartbreak warfare
If you want more love, why don’t you say so?”
Considering Mayer has only banged pop/movie stars for the past several years, a little deductive reasoning tells us at least a couple more songs on the new album are about past relationships with Aniston and Jessica Simpson. So we listened to the whole Battle Studies album and have created, after the jump, a purely speculative compilation of John Mayer’s song lyrics about which starlets he’s ben boning: Keep reading »
- John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are back together, according to People and Us Weekly. [Dlisted] — Yeah, she’s that pathetic, and he probably has another project to sell.
- Kimora Lee brought adorable baby Kenzo Lee Hounsou to work with her recently. [OK! Magazine] — His cuteness almost melted the coldness that has crept into my heart. Almost.
“Rumor check: went to gay bar in Palm Springs, yes. Had a blast. Danced my face off. Someone there planted a kiss on me? No. I don’t like the story painting gays as unable to control themselves. Found the crowd even more respectful than in a straight club. You know who the most flamboyant crowd is? Straight, drunk girls. They’re like a bunch of little Charles Nelson Reillys.”
John Mayer has been trying to make Jennifer Aniston his girlfriend again. They always come back, don’t they ladies? First he dumped her via text message last August (ouch!) and then, after a brief reunion, broke up with her again in March. Apparently, now John has been begging her for another chance. The balladeer has gone boo-hoo for his Hollywood honey.
Sure, our own Erin and conventional wisdom say that in life you only get one chance. But in love, there are no rules. However, there is good advice, not to mention learning from your mistakes. That’s why I’m going to share with you the biggest relationship mistake I ever made. Keep reading »
Yesterday, after John Mayer headed to Twitter to shoot down rumors that he and Kristin Cavallari are dating, we shared with you one of the hilarious things he twoted about her. “My Milli has never slam danced with her Vanilli,” he said. But upon further exploration, we’ve noticed that is not the only amazing euphemism for sex that he wrote in this particular exchange. Here are some others:
- “I have never high fived Kristin Cavalari [sic] with my penis.”
- “We have never tasted the Skittles Rainbow together.”
- “I have never Bensoned her Hedges.”
- “Nor have I attempted to Bartle her James.” [Twitter]
That Mayer is all class. Care to pick a favorite sex descriptor? Keep reading »
Yesterday, after Fall Out Boy singer Patrick Stump was arrested for driving without a license, John Mayer admitted he’d been arrested for the same offense and then Twittered a challenge to Harvey Levin at TMZ: “produce my mugshot, [and] I will donate 25k to the charity of [your] choice.” He even gave a hint: “in the first half of the naughts, in the home of the Brave.” Mayer, it turns out, had been arrested in May 2001 in Atlanta (the case was dismissed the following month). TMZ did manage to score the mugshot, but The Smoking Gun beat them by about five minutes in publishing it. Still, John never said TMZ had to be the first site to produce the photo. So, true to his word, he coughed up $25,000 to be split between the two charities TMZ chose (Pet Orphans and Ace of Hearts, two animal shelters in California). Call it a creative publicity stunt, but I say it’s nice to see a celebrity arrest result in such a happy ending. [via TMZ] Keep reading »
I never understood how John Mayer gets so many women: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, Minka Kelly, Jennifer Aniston. Then, the September issue of Elle Decor arrived in my mailbox with Mayer’s New York City apartment on the cover. Sure, he got a little help from Giorgio Armani, but Mayer has it going on in the apartment department. His pad is simple, chic, and all grown-up. “I steer clear of bravado,” he told Elle Decor. “It detracts from who you really are.” This is a maxim he seems to have applied to his home decor — but not other aspects of his life. [ELLE Decor] Keep reading »
Reading celebrity Twitters is like flipping to US Weekly‘s “They’re Just Like Us!” section. They whine about bad TV, do battle with technology, and wonder what other people think of them. This week, Nicole Richie’s Blackberry broke, John Mayer was busy, James Franco saw “Star Trek”, Samantha Ronson watched MTV, Karl Lagerfeld tried to make us feel better about buying his clothes, and Mindy Kaling may or may not have gone to Paris for a boob job. Keep reading »