Want to laugh your ass off today? Of course you do, it’s Thursday! Head over to the Internet Action Force, where you can while away the rest of your afternoon giggling instead of working. You’ll thank me by 5 o’clock.
IAF was launched just today, so you can be sure that you’ll be… READ MORE »
On last night’s episode of “Broad City” — which you should be watching because it is hilarious — Abby hooked up with her hot, bearded, woodworking, homebrewing neighbor Jeremy, and was somewhat shocked to discover that his idea of “switching it up” entailed pegging him in the ass. This gave me the excuse I needed… READ MORE »
I am addicted to Netflix, which is why I steal money from my sweet, elderly mother. I love her so much. She was always there for me growing up. But I just can’t get enough of Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright in “House Of Cards.” I watched both seasons in one weekend. I missed my… READ MORE »
I love musicals.
Oh, you hate musicals? Really? I’ll get to you and your opinion in a second.
First, I’m making a public confession: I am a white, heterosexual man who loves musicals. I don’t give a shit who knows. You are not your demographic. The people who make up focus… READ MORE »
This week’s Anthony Weiner dick pic scandal — part two! — reminded me of this hilarious column written by our dear Mind of Man, John DeVore. Let’s learn, from an actual man, why dudes like to send pictures of their penises. — Amelia
Men send pictures of their penises because we want the… READ MORE »
I think it was Shakespeare who wrote, “It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.” Yup. I’m pretty sure he wrote that.
It is hard to say goodbye. I am not a fan of it. I try to avoid actually saying it if I can. But you can’t always avoid it. Which is… READ MORE »
I recently because rather obsessed with the Sock Bun, a method of styling your hair into a bun that, yes, involves a sock. Basically, you snip off the toe of an old sock and then roll the sock into a donut shape. Then you put your hair in a ponytail, slip the tail through the… READ MORE »
Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be about who loves you, but whom you love. It’s the one day out of the year when you should take account of those people in your life who make you gleefully vomit little candy hearts. Being loved back isn’t nearly as important in life as boldly, recklessly, sincerely loving someone regardless… READ MORE »
The breakup was amicable, and mutual in the sense that we were both slightly relieved it was over. Before we parted ways at the bar, she confessed that it bothered her that I always wanted to watch TV after we had sex. I said nothing and just nodded.
Why wouldn’t I want to… READ MORE »
A recent essay about “facials” really got me thinking. Why is it that the act of ejaculating on a woman’s face is called a “facial”? Is semen an astringent? It seems to me that the act could be called something manlier, like “spackling,” or more … inviting? Women love cupcakes. Why not call the sex… READ MORE »
“It’s not ‘talking to yourself’. It’s ‘engaging in a conversation with your needs.'” “Hello internet porn, how are you today?” “Where did I put that Slim Jim??”
“(random laughter for no reason)” “We all die alone.” “Please text me back please text me back.” “I’m out of Captain Crunch. My life sucks.” “I’m Batman.” … READ MORE »
Somewhere, last night, a young man stood in his apartment wearing nothing but a condom. He stretched his arms out, closed his eyes, and whispered “if I wear it, they will come. THEN COME AND COME AGAIN.”
The condom was one of dozens he keeps strategically hidden throughout his apartment. He keeps a… READ MORE »
My New Years resolution is to be less stupid. I don’t usually make New Years resolutions, or as I call them, Last Year’s regrets. Usually, I just think they’re for suckers.
The only people who benefit from New Year’s resolutions are the therapists who profit from disappointment maintenance. But this year is going… READ MORE »
I would not be blogging about the various and amusing differences between dudes and chicks for fun and profit if it were not for a boss who dressed like she was ready to hit a late-’90s girl power soft rock music festival at a moment’s notice.
When I moved to New York 15… READ MORE »
Women are always complaining that the men in their lives suffer from “Peter Pan Syndrome.” It’s a standard, catchall criticism that chicks levy willy-nilly on dudes for any number of relationship misdemeanors or faux pas. It refers to the title character in J.M. Barrie’s classic, turn-of-last-century play and novel about a precocious young boy who… READ MORE »
At the risk of perpetuating the myth that there are differences between men and women, allow me to suggest one tiny little quirk that separates penis-enabled humanoids from the vagina-enhanced. Women think that men have manifold opinions about their hairstyles. This is not true. We barely have opinions about our own hair. Mostly, men just… READ MORE »
When food has replaced sex in your relationship, it’s pretty much over. If you’re a month or so into a relationship and you both find yourself face-planting bowls of pasta on a Friday night instead of giving yourselves reason to clean your sheets on Saturday morning, something is not right. Favorite foods are not a… READ MORE »
Men know how to cook, because we have the right incentive to cook. Once upon a time, when men were men and women were women and men were cartoon gorillas and women were porcelain princesses, the man made money and the woman made casseroles. Men stayed out of the kitchen, and women stayed out of… READ MORE »