Tag Archives: john mayer

Jessica Simpson Discusses John Mayer And That “Mom Jeans” Fiasco With Oprah


On yesterday’s episode of “Oprah,” Jessica Simpson responded for the first time to John Mayer‘s blabbermouth statement to Playboy — that she’s like crack in the sack. He, for the record, apologized to her in writing (email or text, we wonder) and she has not and doesn’t plan on accepting it. Good for her! After all the rumors about Jessica still pining away for Mayer, it’s nice to see her standing up for herself, but also seeming disinterested in his smarmy ass. Keep reading »

Quotable: Courtney Love Wants To Hate F**k John Mayer

“Do you ever feel like spite hate f***ing @johncmayer just to put hi in his place, hes a better guitarist than me but not better in bed ! but like say your [sic] f***ing @johncmayer totally throwing him around the room in bits and then you just BAM punch him in the face? good times”

— Courtney Love, only about two weeks behind the rest of us, seems to have finally read — or at least heard about — John Mayer’s recent Playboy interview where he likens Jessica Simpson to sexual napalm and calls his dick a white supremacist. Love took to Twitter to share her own comments about Mayer. No word yet on whether Mayer is interested in taking her up on her “offer.” Now that might be a match made in heaven. [via Huffington Post] Keep reading »

Poll: If Your Ex Were Talking Smack, Would You Want Your Dad To Defend Your Honor?

If your ex were talking smack, would you want your dad to defend your honor like Joe Simpson did?

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In His Quest To Be “Clever” John Mayer Offends Everyone, Especially Black Women

Yesterday, we reported some off-color remarks John Mayer made about Jessica Simpson in Playboy. Jessica could have taken his comparison of her to “sexual napalm” positively or negatively, depending on how she felt about herself and their relationship. But his musings about black women and use of the N-word weren’t as clever as he hoped, but cemented his status as the biggest jerk with a mic. Let’s dissect what he said and how he tried to apologize, after the jump. Keep reading »

John Mayer Breaks Down, Apologizes For Being A D-Bag


Won’t he ever shut up? Not yet! After his controversial interview with Playboy came out yesterday, John Mayer broke down on stage and said a bunch of stuff that maybe was an apology? It sounded like more masturbation if you ask me. And we know how much he likes that. Clip above. [via YouTube]

Keep reading »

Jessica Simpson Cannot Be That Good In Bed

John Mayer, I call bulls**t. In a recent interview with Playboy, the oversharing singer had this to say about his ex, Jessica Simpson:

Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me… Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm … 
Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, “I want to quit my life and just f**kin’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f**k you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep f**king you.”

I’m sorry, but there is NO WAY Jessica Simpson is that good in bed. Keep reading »

Quotable: John Mayer Was Addicted To Sex With Jessica Simpson

jessica simpson and john mayer photo

“And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me … Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say … It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, ‘I want to quit my life and just f**kin’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f**k you, I would start selling all my s**t just to keep f**king you’?”

John Mayer continues to kiss and tell in the March issue of Playboy. He didn’t share any sexual details about Jennifer Aniston, though. Does that mean she sucked in bed or does he have more respect for her? [Us Weekly] Keep reading »

An Open Letter To Taylor Swift

Dear Taylor,

I am writing to offer you some unsolicited advice. I heard that rumor about you and ass hat, John Mayer. Whether you are actually dating him or not (I really hope it’s just a rumor), I would like to point out that it’s a really bad idea to get involved/remain involved with him. Why? You are fresh meat; he is tainted meat. By scientific principle, tainted meat destroys fresh meat if they come within close proximity. See: E. coli. Taylor, I know from experience that bad boys will poison your life. Before you defend your feelings for Mr. Mayer, please hear me out. [Celebitchy]

Keep reading »

10 Celebs Who Are Proud Masturbators

Proud Celeb Masturbators

Anna Kendrick really loved Ryan Gosling’s performance in the movie “Gangster Squad.” More specifically, his performance made her love herself. 

“Ugh – NEVER going to a Ryan Gosling movie in a theater again. Apparently masturbating in the back row is still considered ‘inappropriate,’” she Tweeted. 

We suspect she was joking, but we can’t blame her if she wasn’t. Obviously, Ryan Gosling is a very popular figure in peoples’ spank banks over here. [Daily Mail UK]

 Anna Kendrick is hardly the only celeb to discuss diddling. Woody Allen and Dudley Moore have some of the more famous and funny quotes about jerking off, but some more recent stars have mouthed off about self-love too. Keep clicking to find out who …

Quotable: John Mayer Has An Existential Dating Crisis

“All I want to do now is f**k the girls I’ve already f**ked, because I can’t fathom explaining myself to somebody who can’t believe I’d be interested in them. I’m too freaked out to meet anybody else. I met a girl one time in Vegas. Her name was Dimples, and the ‘s’ in Dimples was a dollar sign. I have this weird feeling, a pride thing, for the people I’ve had relationships with. I still feel like I’m with them, in the sense that if I f**ked Dimples, what does that say about someone like Jen? I feel like it’s all connected. How could I ever cosmically relate these two people? What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is f**king fantastic, if I said to her, ‘I don’t dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well. But I have to back out of this because it doesn’t arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny,’ and then I see myself f**king Dimples? What does that say for my case?”

— John Mayer explaining to Rolling Stone magazine that the only thing that keeps him from effing every woman he meets is worrying about how Jen (Aniston) would feel about it. [via US Weekly] Keep reading »

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