Last night, domestic abuser and homophobe Chris Brown got in a brawl with someone who was possibly in Drake’s entourage, supposedly over Rihanna, and he lost a bloody piece of his chin in the melee.
This morning, The New York Post reported xoJane writer Cat Marnell is leaving the blog to smoke angel dust and “write a book.” Like, she actually said that to a reporter. This is the new plan because she doesn’t want to stop using drugs, as she has been asked to do by her employer.
Then, this South African couple told the Daily Mail about how they keep an adult pet Bengal tiger inside their home as a pet and he sometimes chews up their sofas. This couple also owns several tasty-looking pet dogs.
Typically, I have boundless reserves of empathy, if not outright sympathy, for others. But it is time for some real talk: None of these people are deserving of our sympathy. I mean, it sucks when bad things happen to people, like when your Bengal tiger eats your couch. It would suck if more bad things happened to these people, like if your pet Bengal tiger eats your dogs. But do we feel bad for these individuals for the hard knocks coming their way? No. No, we do not.
After the jump, more people we do not feel bad for at all. Not one little bit. “Unbad,” you might even say: Keep reading »
“I just sort of lost my head for awhile. I did some dumb interviews and it woke me up. … It was a very strange time. It sort of, like, rocketed me into adulthood. It was a violent crash into being an adult. So for a couple years, it was all figuring it all out. I’m glad I stayed out of the spotlight. I think back then I would have said ‘Give me two weeks! Let me get out! Let me go on ‘Ellen’ and explain myself!’ And it was, like, ‘No, idiot, go away. Be 33 and 34 instead of 28 for the fourth year.’”
– John Mayer is responding, of course, to his 2010 interview with Playboy magazine in which he got really overshare-y about his ex-girlfriend, Jessica Simpson. He called Jess “sexual napalm,” said she was like “crack cocaine” to him in bed, and said of her “If you charged me $10,000 to f**k you, I would start selling all my s**t just to keep f**king you.” (He later apologized to her in writing, but Jessica said she has not and doesn’t ever plan to accept his apology.) And then there was the time John got blabby with paparazzi about his ex-girlfriend Jennifer Aniston, which got him in big trubs with her. Keep reading »
A-ha! So that’s why we’ve been suffering through some horrible Dan Humphrey hair on “Gossip Girl” this season. Penn Badgley wants to look like … John Mayer.
That geeky girl in the floral prints and glasses from “Blossom” is dishing out sex advice? Damn, I must be old. Yes, Mayim Bialik has plenty to say about sex and she is dishing it out on Kveller.com, a Jewish parenting web site. With baby-making on the brain, Mayim quotes the Torah on waiting seven days, plus an additional five, for a woman’s most fertile time. It’s all part of being a good Jew, you see. ”Judaism loves love. We love sex. We are told it is a mitzvah to make love and to especially make love on Shabbat, when God’s presence is close,” Mayim explains. “A woman’s right to sexual satisfaction is detailed in her ketubah, her marriage contract, independent of pregnancy.” Keep reading »
Poor Kim Kardashian can’t so much as breathe in a guy’s ear without the media claiming she’s dating him. It’s only been a month since she broke up with NFL star Miles Austin and she’s already been linked to a slew of unlikely suitors! And while some of these guys make her ex-boyfriend Reggie Bush look like an actual saint, we’re still looking out for Kim’s best interests. So we’ve figured out which guys she should shun, shag, or marry. Just in case she’s actually interested in any of them and needs a second opinion. We’re helpful like that.
Keep reading »