“That is so awful. That word is like so disgusting to me. That’s horrible. It’s just about the playfulness, about teasing, it’s about ‘hmmm, no, I don’t want it tonight’ but he’s going to take it. It’s about being aggressive and trying new things in the bedroom. It’s not about, ‘hey, I have a headache, honey, and I’m not in the mood tonight,’ and your husband’s going to take it from you. I mean, come on. … My book is about mutual respect with your partner, for one another. It’s about honesty, it’s about loyalty, it’s about making your partner first in your life. Where that word comes into play, to me, is awful and disgusting.”
– Melissa Gorga, star of “The Real Housewives Of New Jersey” and author of the new marriage advice book Love Italian Style, is not loving that a passage in her book from husband Joe Gorga has been described by critics — including yours truly — as advocating marital rape. Alas, Melissa may not like that that’s how people are interpreting her husband’s advice (“If your wife says ‘no,’ turn her around, and rip her clothes off”), but the fact of the matter is what Joe described — and what Melissa reinforces in this very quote – is the very definition of rape. When a woman says “no” to having sex and a man “takes” it — it being, you know, HER BODY — anyway, that is rape. Even when it’s a husband and wife. If Joe is actually advocating for consensual dom/sub play, he worded it very badly and an editor certainly should have raised a red flag. But my hunch is that Melissa and Joe have seriously fucked up issues that they should not be selling to the masses as secrets to a happy marriage. [Dlisted]
It’s difficult to walk away from an episode of “Real Housewives of New Jersey” without thinking to oneself, ”Every single one of these women needs massive amounts of therapy” … yet we do it in a way that keeps us TiVoing their table-flipping drama week after week. But a new book published by Melissa Gorga, called Love Italian Style, filled with her so-called ‘marriage advice tips’ crosses into the realm of seriously disturbing.
Clearly the Gorgas have a traditional-style marriage. That does not suit everyone’s tastes. However, Melissa Gorga doesn’t simply fulfill the traditional feminine role in her marriage by cooking meals, cleaning the house and being primary caretaker of the children. As Amelia wrote about yesterday, she advises satisfying your husband’s sexual desires at all times, fashioning herself into his own personal “puttana [Italian slang for "whore"]” in the bedroom, lest her husband be driven to cheat. She explains how Joe is liable to be less angry at her for making mistakes when she’s been putting out.
Then there’s the part where Gorga gives a thumbs-up to marital rape:
Men, I know you think your woman isn’t the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says “no,” turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated.
There’s the playful, “wink-wink-nudge-nudge” no that I hope Melissa Gorga is referring to. Then there’s the “no means no” no that makes turning your wife around and ripping her clothes off rape. Gorga doesn’t elucidate any difference. Nor does Gorga seem to find it disconcerting, as Jezebel pointed out, that Joe is prone to “violent outbursts” — like breaking a baby’s highchair — that cause her to “modify her own behavior” to please him. Still, Gorga repeatedly writes that marriage should based upon respect. Keep reading »
If I wanted advice on how to have a successful marriage, I would not personally turn to “Real Housewife of New Jersey” Melissa Gorga, who is married to Teresa Giudice’s brother Joe. But apparently others would, as Melissa is the author of a new relationship advice book called Love Italian Style. Jezebel got their hands on a copy and report that it’s essentially a guide to submitting to your husband’s every whim, including sexually, to keep him happy, regardless of your own needs and desires. If you’ve watched “The Real Housewives of New Jersey,” you’re familiar with Joe Gorga’s sex drive, which seems to be a talking point on nearly every episode. Melissa’s book reveals how she keeps her husband sexually satisfied and advises other women to follow her lead. The jist? ”Husbands want their wives to submit; wives want our husbands to dominate.” Oh, do continue with the generalizations, Melissa! Keep reading »
Last night’s “Real Housewives of New Jersey” was highly entertaining, if oddly off season. (Am I the only one who has a hard getting into the Christmas spirit when it’s 90 degrees out?) I was highly amused when Jacqueline joked as she set her table for a dinner party, “Teresa’s flipped a table and Joe bangs on tables. I don’t know why these tables take so much abuse from them! One day they’re gonna fight back.” Oddly, they didn’t. But during the shindig, our favorite new housewife—Joe Gorga—put on Jacqueline’s glittery bodysuit and did high kicks, on a dare from Albie. It’s the second time he’s rocked drag on the show. “Am I supposed to put that back on when his balls are flopping around in there?” Jacqueline asked, watching him. And his wife Melissa added, “I’m so not having sex tonight.” [NY Daily News] Keep reading »
Yesterday, we introduced you to our new favorite “Real Housewives” cast member, Joe Gorga, aka Teresa Giudice‘s younger brother. So far this season, he has been stealing scenes from both his sister and his wife, new housewife Melissa Gorga. Then came last night’s Halloween episode, in which Joe dressed up as … Snooki. “You’re really a Jersey chick now, honey. You look like your sister,” says Melissa watching him slink into a gold, leopard-print dress and put on a pouffy wig. Then Joe looks Melissa up and down and says, “I look better than you as a woman.” Classic. Keep reading »
I was scared to watch the new season of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” sans Danielle Staub. I just didn’t think it could possibly be any fun without her and her delusional paranoia. Man, was I wrong. The first episode, which included a “West Side Story” style rumble at a Christening, made the episode where Staub’s weave got ripped out look like child’s play. And a new star emerged. Only he’s not a housewife — or even a woman for that matter. Keep reading »