Joan Rivers has been mouthing off all around town. Yesterday TMZ posted a video of her calling out Brooke Shields for pretending to be besties with Michael Jackson, even though she hadn’t actually seen him in years. Rivers snarked, “It’s called face time.” Clearly, face time is something Rivers is familiar with. Between winning “Celebrity Apprentice” earlier this year, getting roasted on Comedy Central, and her new show “How’d You Get So Rich?” on TV Land, the gossip queen has been drumming up more drama than usual. This week alone she also trash-talked Jon Gosselin, Robert Redford and Jay Leno.

“Celebrity Apprentice” winner Joan Rivers claws her way to the top “Live with Regis & Kelly.” Which is more plastic: her face, her personality, or her jewelry? [NYC, 5/11/09]

Guh-reat. Last summer, I got botox in the name of journalism. It looked okay. Before I got the ‘tox, I had a pretty visible verticle line across the middle of my forehead and then a few little frowny lines near my eyebrows so I always just looked a teensy-weensy bit mad. I never really had much of problem with those lines, although it did occur to me to buy better sunglasses so I wouldn’t squint as much. Had the botox not been free, I wouldn’t have done it, but I never turn down anything free (even little unappetizing finger foods at parties!). Anyway, the botox made all the lines go away, which looked pretty good when I wasn’t trying to move my face. When I did try to move my eyebrows for example, only the very corners would go up a smidge. Think Joan Rivers. Yeah.

So even though I got the ‘tox for free and got paid for the journalism assignment, it turns out it may not have been worth it. Nicole Kidman, pay attention!

Jamie Lee Curtis, 50, just graced the cover of AARP magazine wearing nothing but water.  And now she’s urging people to go au natural themselves and grow old gracefully. She’s speaking up about her own plastic surgeries, admitting to first going under the knife at 35 because a photographer made a snide remark about her “puffy” eyes. She’s had numerous surgeries since, saying: “I did it all. But, you know what, it didn’t work. The fraud is it doesn’t work…there are complications, and I got them all.” While Jamie Lee hasn’t specified her problems with the operations, we’re pretty sure one of the side effects is being stuck in a waiting room with Joan Rivers. [ICYDK]

Joan Rivers, a big fan of Botox, is poking fun at herself and laughing all the way to the bank in a new Geico commercial.  While it may give you a career, a new report shows the wrinkle reducer could make you loose more than just facial expressions—it’s a look that can kill. The popular cosmetic injection is made from the botulinum toxin, the same bacterium that poisons meat, has in many cases spread through patients’ bodies wreaking all sorts of havoc. Since Botox has been linked to 16 deaths and almost 100 users hospitalization, Public Citizen, a consumer advocacy group, is asking the FDA to review the trendy disease…er, skin care substance put out by the pharmaceutical company Allergan. Looks like there’s an even uglier side to this beauty product. [Reuters]