Oh, the jokes just write themselves! Emily Blunt continued her bid to be my imaginary celeb best friend last night on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” telling a pretty great story about taking Scientology weirdo Tom Cruise to The Box nightclub in London for a live burlesque sex show. (“Disgusting” “loser” Matt Damon and Em’s husband John Krasinski were also there.) BTW, Emily’s Tom Cruise impression is subtle but fantastic.
Okay, so Drake did act like a giant baby after his Rolling Stone cover was nixed following Philip Seymour Hoffman’s sudden death. But this proves he can laugh at himself, so he’s back in my good graces: “Jimmy Kimmel Live” sent Drake out with a beard and a wig to ask people their feelings about Drake. Everyone, it turns out, hates Drake. They go on and on and on about how they don’t like Drake. And then he starts peeling his fake beard off and, well, you can imagine what happens next … [YouTube]
My most recent online date was pretty bad. The guy told a date rape joke, loudly criticized anyone who dared brush up against him at the bar, and went on a rant about hating fat people. But at least he didn’t text me a picture of his asshole afterwards. The same cannot be said for Kristin Wiig’s date, who accompanied her to a taping of “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” after she accidentally double-booked. Awkward. (Also, if Kristen Wiig is my OK Cupid competition, I’m even more screwed.)
New baby daddy Channing Tatum stopped by Jimmy Kimmel last night to promote his latest film, “White House Down,” and was happy to talk about spending time with daughter Everly. “You never have enough time,” said my new favorite DILF. “You walk out of the room to go to the bathroom and that’s time lost.” Swooooon! He also joked with Jimmy about the song, “(I Wanna) Channing All Over Your Tatum,” which has made his name forever synonymous with, uh, splooge. “It’s weird that I’ve destroyed my own name, like I’ve just completely like wrecked it,” he laughed. Check out the interview (in two parts) above!
I seriously cannot get enough of Miley Cyrus. I do not know what it is. It would be far more in my nature to find her near constant identity makeover insufferable. But I don’t. I like her. She’s weird. I mean, on last night’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” she talked all about her family’s love of donkeys. This speaks to me. She also gave Jimmy a bunch of ridiculous explanations for her bizarro new video. The tl;dr is she was totally high with Snoop Lion. Anyway, yeah, she’s totally jacking Rihanna’s look (baseball jacket, thigh-high boots, gold chains), and she throws around words like “homies” and “swag” so seriously, but I don’t know, I dig Miley’s vibe. I’ve done drunk the Miley-Aid. Watch her interview above (in two parts) and check out her performance of her seriously fly new single, “We Can’t Stop,” after the jump!
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“Morrissey is thankful for being invited to perform on Jimmy Kimmel Live tomorrow, February 26. However, he cannot morally be on a television program where the cast members of Duck Dynasty will also be guests. Morrissey would be honored to play the show, if ‘Duck Dynasty’ were removed.”
–Morrissey on why you won’t be seeing him on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” The staunch vegetarian refused to do the show after learning that members of the cast of “Duck Dynasty” would also be on the episode. “Duck Dynasty,” if you hadn’t guessed, is a show about a family that makes duck calls for duck hunters. God bless your crazy vegetarian ass, Morrissey. [Morrissey Official]
It takes a lot of time — like hours and hours — to watch movies. So on last night’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” Jimmy Kimmel decided to do us all a solid and create a film that encapsulated, well, every movie ever. “Movie: The Movie: 2V” is actually the sequel to last year’s equally bombastic “Movie: The Movie,” and it features about as many stars. In it, you’ll witness Matt Damon in a motion capture suit, John Krasinski as a radioactive shrimp and Salma Hayek, playing a woman who falls in love with … Salma Hayek. What can save all of these characters from the plague of sexy vampires and zombies that are wandering the Earth? And is there anything more powerful than Channing Tatum’s crotch? Watch the clip and find out. [YouTube]
Matt Damon and Jimmy Kimmel have had a longstanding feud, stemming from Damon getting bumped from Kimmel’s show, like, a zillion times. Kimmel closes virtually every show now “apologizing” to Matt Damon for bumping him from the episode, and finally Damon had enough. So last night, Damon got his revenge. He wheeled a bound and gagged Kimmel onto the stage and promptly took over, renaming the show “Jimmy Kimmel Sucks.” Kimmel’s band leader was replaced by Sheryl Crow and his sidekick Guillermo with Andy Garcia. Oh, and there were lots of famous folks on hand to stick it to Kimmel.
Has the takeover quelled the feud between the two? Not a chance. Kimmel has vowed revenge. Stay tuned! [Jimmy Kimmel Live] Keep reading »
I know I said I would stop picking on LeAnn Rimes, but I can’t! Tuesday night, on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” LeAnn did herself a grave disservice by experimenting with a new hairdo. Rachel told me that there is a proper name for this hairstyle and it’s called a quiff. Wikipedia describes it as a cross between a pompadour, a flattop and a mohawk. So yeah, LeAnn Rimes went on national television with a quiff. My theory is that it was her plant to have her hair distract us from all the bizarro things she said on that “Entertainment Tonight” interview. If so,it worked. Consider me distracted. Here are some alternative hairstyles for LeAnn since, you know, she seems to want a new look. Click through to check them out. [Yahoo]
On Thursday night, Mark “Funky Bunch” Wahlberg appeared on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” to promote his hundreth new rogue cop gone bad/good movie, “Broken City.” As he was walking in, the house band began playing a track that his character in “Boogie Nights” once sang. And that prompted the “Gonna Make You Sweat” rapper to pick up the mic and try to sing along. The operative word here is “try.” See if you can stomach the whole thing.