“Morrissey is thankful for being invited to perform on Jimmy Kimmel Live tomorrow, February 26. However, he cannot morally be on a television program where the cast members of Duck Dynasty will also be guests. Morrissey would be honored to play the show, if ‘Duck Dynasty’ were removed.”
–Morrissey on why you won’t be seeing him on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” The staunch vegetarian refused to do the show after learning that members of the cast of “Duck Dynasty” would also be on the episode. “Duck Dynasty,” if you hadn’t guessed, is a show about a family that makes duck calls for duck hunters. God bless your crazy vegetarian ass, Morrissey. [Morrissey Official]
It takes a lot of time — like hours and hours — to watch movies. So on last night’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” Jimmy Kimmel decided to do us all a solid and create a film that encapsulated, well, every movie ever. “Movie: The Movie: 2V” is actually the sequel to last year’s equally bombastic “Movie: The Movie,” and it features about as many stars. In it, you’ll witness Matt Damon in a motion capture suit, John Krasinski as a radioactive shrimp and Salma Hayek, playing a woman who falls in love with … Salma Hayek. What can save all of these characters from the plague of sexy vampires and zombies that are wandering the Earth? And is there anything more powerful than Channing Tatum’s crotch? Watch the clip and find out. [YouTube]
Matt Damon and Jimmy Kimmel have had a longstanding feud, stemming from Damon getting bumped from Kimmel’s show, like, a zillion times. Kimmel closes virtually every show now “apologizing” to Matt Damon for bumping him from the episode, and finally Damon had enough. So last night, Damon got his revenge. He wheeled a bound and gagged Kimmel onto the stage and promptly took over, renaming the show “Jimmy Kimmel Sucks.” Kimmel’s band leader was replaced by Sheryl Crow and his sidekick Guillermo with Andy Garcia. Oh, and there were lots of famous folks on hand to stick it to Kimmel.
Has the takeover quelled the feud between the two? Not a chance. Kimmel has vowed revenge. Stay tuned! [Jimmy Kimmel Live] Keep reading »
I know I said I would stop picking on LeAnn Rimes, but I can’t! Tuesday night, on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” LeAnn did herself a grave disservice by experimenting with a new hairdo. Rachel told me that there is a proper name for this hairstyle and it’s called a quiff. Wikipedia describes it as a cross between a pompadour, a flattop and a mohawk. So yeah, LeAnn Rimes went on national television with a quiff. My theory is that it was her plant to have her hair distract us from all the bizarro things she said on that “Entertainment Tonight” interview. If so,it worked. Consider me distracted. Here are some alternative hairstyles for LeAnn since, you know, she seems to want a new look. Click through to check them out. [Yahoo]
On Thursday night, Mark “Funky Bunch” Wahlberg appeared on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” to promote his hundreth new rogue cop gone bad/good movie, “Broken City.” As he was walking in, the house band began playing a track that his character in “Boogie Nights” once sang. And that prompted the “Gonna Make You Sweat” rapper to pick up the mic and try to sing along. The operative word here is “try.” See if you can stomach the whole thing.
As you already know, Alana was in Hollywood this week for an appearance on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” which aired last night. She was hilariously adorable throughout and I couldn’t bring myself to clip just one moment. So, above, see it all, from Mama June repeatedly reminding Alana to keep her legs closed and Alana explaining her sisters’ nicknames, to a decidedly unscripted and somewhat NSFW hand/mouth gesture and an endorsement of “Marack Obama” based mostly on the fact that Mitt Romney said he prefers Snooki to Honey Boo Boo. It’s all the best, she’s so cute, and I love her so much. The end!
One of the breakout stars of “Bridesmaids” — besides Melissa McCarthy — was Rebel Wilson, who played the female half of Kristen Wiig’s weird brother-sister roommate duo. Remember? She got the Mexican drinking worm tattoo from some guy in the back of van? Well, Wilson next appears as an exceedingly normal bride in “Bachelorette,” a dark comedy that also stars Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher, and Lizzy Caplan as the bitter and drugged out friends who are planning her bachelorette party. Rebel appeared on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” last night to promote the film, and the Australian talked up her teenage appreciation for American “gangsta rap” group Kriss Kross. She and her sister — who’s amazingly named LIBERTY — performed their songs at talent shows. To prove it, Rebel rapped some of their lyrics — and was decidedly not wiggity-wiggity-wack.
You guys know I generally find Katy Perry to dress like the Poor Man’s Gaga — so wacky! So out of control! So over the top! Oh look, there’s whipped cream shooting out of her tits! Oh geez, her entire look is inspired by an ice cream cone she dropped on the pavement when she was in fifth grade!
But this look — a modest (for Katy Perry) dress she wore on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” — I actually like. Sure, she’s still got an insurmountable situation going on with her hair, but the dress is tops.
And speaking of unlikely things, I actually kind of want to watch her new documentary/concert movie, if only to see the dismantling of her relationship with Russell Brand. I mean, they did make me sit through their awful wedding montage during the Grammys, after all.
Is there ever going to be a chink in Zooey Deschanel’s cool armor? On a recent appearance of “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” she revealed her ties to my all-time favorite television show, “Twin Peaks.” Her mother, Mary Jo Deschanel, played Eileen Hayward, who you may remember better as Donna’s (Lara Flynn Boyle) mother. As if that weren’t enough, Zooey’s father directed a bunch of episodes. So she basically grew up on the set. I was willing to overlook Zooey’s perfect bangs, her closet full of vintage dresses, her indie music career. I was willing to chalk it all up to good luck and good genes. But this I cannot overlook. She grew up romping around the red room, playing patty cake with the log lady, having burgers at the Double R Diner. Not fair! I’m incredibly jealous. There, I said it. [Buzzfeed]