DJ Cornmeal, The Chelsea Clintons, Obesity Epidemic, Get The Fuck Out Of My Pool … those are just some of the completely bullshit bands that not only don’t exist but definitely did not play the Coachella Music Festival over the weekend. As this hilarious Jimmy Kimmel prank shows, it’s amazing the extensive lies people will tell in order to seem hip.
Matt Damon and Jimmy Kimmel have had a longstanding feud, stemming from Damon getting bumped from Kimmel’s show, like, a zillion times. Kimmel closes virtually every show now “apologizing” to Matt Damon for bumping him from the episode, and finally Damon had enough. So last night, Damon got his revenge. He wheeled a bound and gagged Kimmel onto the stage and promptly took over, renaming the show “Jimmy Kimmel Sucks.” Kimmel’s band leader was replaced by Sheryl Crow and his sidekick Guillermo with Andy Garcia. Oh, and there were lots of famous folks on hand to stick it to Kimmel.
Has the takeover quelled the feud between the two? Not a chance. Kimmel has vowed revenge. Stay tuned! [Jimmy Kimmel Live] Keep reading »
So, “Jimmy Kimmel Live” was recently moved to an earlier time slot on ABC, but someone apparently forgot to tell “The Knife Guys” — aka Will Ferrell and his sidekick Ryan Gosling — who usually use the studio at 11:35 p.m. to film their QVC infomercial segment. I suppose it should come as no surprise to anyone that Ryan still manages to make safety goggles sexy. Dream man.
Being the First Lady can’t be that bad of a gig: you have a personal chef, travel all over the world, and Beyoncé loves you. But as Michelle Obama explained last night on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” the complete lack of privacy and anonymity warps your life … so much so that you actually start wanting to go to CVS and wait in line for three-quarters of an hour while the one employee rings everyone up.
Mrs. Obama, I go to CVS several times a month for toiletries and prescriptions. Do not even get me started on the CVS pharmacy. You are MORE than welcome to take my place in that badly managed hellhole. When can you start?!?!
I’m a tiny bit obsessed with R. Kelly, for a number of reasons. One of them: His epic “Trapped in the Closet” 32-part song and video masterpiece. R. Kelly said that it was like he had made up a whole new genre of music and entertainment, because it was telling a story with words and music. Noooooooooow, just think about that for a minute. Also, he is the guy responsible for bringing the phrase “real talk” into the modern vernacular, so extra credit for that, too. Plus, he’s just clearly so out of his megalomaniacal and bonkers mind. How can you not totally love this dude?
His new autobiography, Soulacoaster: The Diary of Me, is a rollicking ride, to be sure. Which is why it needed a very special person to recite it on “Jimmy Kimmel” this week. Someone like… Keep reading »