Tag Archives: jesus

Life Dream Status: “Miracle Machine” Turns Water Into Wine

Miracle Machine Turns Water Into Wine
Wait, Seriously?!?!?

It might soon be much easier for all of us to become a little more Christ-like, if only in the “being able to turn water into wine” department. As you’ll see in this infomercial/informational video (seriously though, why is there a fireplace in the background? weird vibes), a tech entrepreneur and a wine expert have developed what they call the “Miracle Machine,” an “accelerated wine-making device for the home” that allows users to turn water into wine using a few affordable ingredients and a smartphone app (I don’t think Jesus had one of those). According to Boyer and James, the Miracle Machine is “controlled by a mobile app that guides you through the winemaking process on your device whilst monitoring progress,” and “takes just three days and a couple of dollars to make wine that would normally cost at least $20.” This counter-top wine maker is still in the development stages, and is projected to retail for $499, but hey, that’s a smile price to pay for the ability to make miracles happen, right? [Vimeo]

Evening Quickies: TV Broadcasters Ready And Waiting For Jesus’ Return

  • I thought this was an Onion headline, but I was mistaken: two American TV broadcasters have acquired studio space in Jerusalem so they have a prime spot for when Jesus returns. Christian broadcasters Daystar Television Network and Trinity Broadcasting Network will be there on the scene in case Christ returns to the Earth in human form. You have to give them credit: they’ll have an exclusive. Take that, Anderson Cooper! [L.A. Times]
  • Tyler Perry is bringing two scripted TV shows to Oprah’s OWN network. Hmm, maybe that’ll help the ratings. [Uptown Magazine]
  • And your 2013 Academy Awards host will be (drumroll please) …… [Celebrity Cafe]

Keep reading »

Woman Sees Jesus In Bathroom Mold

For most people, bathroom mold is a cross to bear.

For Chyenna Richards in Houston, it’s a sign that God is truly everywhere — including her shower stall.

“People say your house is blessed,” Richards told KRTK-TV. “I see the head, the hair, a cloak.”

Where others see the presence of fungi, Richards sees a likeness of Jesus, and is moved by the holy mold.

“Maybe it means something. Maybe look into yourself and see if you need to change something in your life,” she said.

The “holy mold” began growing a few months ago when Thomas George, who also lives in the house, was serving time in prison. Read more …

15 Really Weird Places Jesus Has Appeared

A Florida woman is reporting that she spotted Jesus on an episode of the “The Bachelor.” It wasn’t even the new season though, it was Brad Womack’s season, so I’m suspicious. What channel was airing that this week? And how convenient that this news be released during the week of the premiere of Emily Maynard’s run as “The Bachelorette.” I wonder if Brad is behind all this. Conspiracy!

Anyhow, Guerda Maurice of Port St. Lucie claims that she was watching an episode of “The Bachelor” and spotted a tent in the background that she wanted to put in her backyard, so she took a picture of the screen with her cell phone. That’s when things got divine. “My phone was vibrating and so warm, and very warm and hot like a burning smell,” said Maurice. “I flipped the phone and I see Jesus’ picture and I said, ‘Oh my God, where did this picture come from?’” And here is said picture of Bachelor Tent Jesus. Thoughts? My only thought is that if Jesus did choose to appear on Earth, I suspect he wouldn’t want to be associated with “The Bachelor” franchise. Unless he was attempting to present the world with a rose. 

Any true believer will tell you that Jesus’ image can appear almost anywhere if you look hard enough. Keep on clicking to see some more of the craziest places Christ has popped up. [Mediaite]

Christian Victoria’s Secret Model Quits On Account Of Jesus

Victoria's Shady Secret
Is the brand using cotton sourced by child labor? Read More »
VS Model On Dating
candice swanepoel photo
Candice Swanepoel says it's hard for men to look past her job. Read More »

In 2009, Victoria’s Secret launched a nationwide competition to seek out their newest Angel. Out of 10,000 real-girl applicants, all voted upon by fans online, only one emerged victorious: the then-19-year-old Kylie Bisutti, a newlywed Californian who then walked in the annual show alongside the established Angels. To most aspiring models, this would be a dream come true … but Kylie says otherwise. Now, after two years at the receiving end of a VS salary, she’s decided that lingerie modeling is against her Christian values, and violates the terms of her marriage. Keep reading »

Jesus Appears On Walmart Receipt

If you know God, would you realize it if you saw him … staring back at you from your Walmart receipt.? South Carolina couple, Jacob Simmons and Gentry Lee Sutherland, believe so. When they returned from church on Sunday morning, the face of the Lord mysteriously materialized on a Walmart receipt, which had been sitting on the floor for a few days. Did this couple experience a religious miracle or is their floor due for a good mopping? You be the judge. [Dlisted] Keep reading »

Finger-Banged By Jesus


If this was what happened at church every Sunday, I would actually go. Just sayin’… [Buzzfeed] Keep reading »

Today’s Lady News: Don’t Abort The Next Son Of God, Ladies!

  • Be careful, pro-choice, ladies: you could be aborting the next son of God! [USA Today]
  • A source claims Google gave a $6 million bonus to a female engineer who was simultaneously being wooed by Facebook and Google reportedly wanted to diversify the dude-liness of their team. [Gawker]
  • If you haven’t watched this video of a woman who screamed at a subway creeper (put your headphones on at work, kids), you must do so right this second. [Feministing]
  • Canada’s has debuted a new campaign warning dudes that a drunk girl can’t consent to sex. [Vancouver Sun]

Keep reading »

Jesus Christ Is Coming To Comedy Central

Even though Mohammed’s cameo on “South Park” didn’t go over so well, Comedy Central is prepared to show that it doesn’t discriminate when it comes to offending religious groups. Next on their list? Christians. Mr. Jesus Christ himself is going to be starring in his own series called “JC,” from the producers of “The Office” and “American Dad.” It will show a misanthropic, video game-obsessed Christ trying to escape the shadow of his “powerful but apathetic” father and find his way in New York City. Not the resurrection Christians had in mind, I suspect—I’m guessing that some of JC’s devout disciples may not take kindly to seeing their savior playing “Grand Theft Auto” and eating take-out. But it sounds like a comedic gold mine to me. The execs at Comedy Central say the show is still in the early phases of development, so they are not yet concerned about the reaction to it. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were public stoning and/or crucifixion in store for them. No one said comedy martyrdom was easy. So what do you think about “JC”? Hilarious or blasphemous? [Hollywood Reporter] Keep reading »

Catholic School Rejects Preschooler Over Lesbian Parents

We are so happy people are protesting this bigotry: A nursery school at Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic School, in Boulder, Colorado, will not admit one of their preschoolers because the child’s parents are lesbians. The Archdiocese of Denver issued a statement about the refusal, which said:

“To preserve the mission of our schools, and to respect the faith of wider Catholic community, we expect all families who enroll students to live in accord with Catholic teaching. Parents living in open discord with Catholic teaching in areas of faith and morals unfortunately choose by their actions to disqualify their children from enrollment.”

Protesters who have stood outside the church during a recent Mass disagree. Protester Joellen Radestorf told ABC7 News in Denver that the school is not strict about which parents are divorced or which ones use birth control —both of which are against the religion‘s teachings — and added, “God and Jesus would not allow discrimination in that way.” Let’s hope the little kids at preschool are too young to understand the bigotry that’s going on. [ABC7 News] Keep reading »

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