No, Jessica Simpson hasn’t (completely) lost her mind and isn’t sacrificing herself to the hair-extension gods. Rather, the ditzy blonde had friend and hairdresser Ken Paves film her as she gives herself a little ear-candling treatment. Supposedly, the process is a natural way of clearing out the nasty wax and gunk that clogs your ear canals. You buy the candles at a health food store, stick ‘em in your ear and light the top on fire—the smoke is supposed to travel down the ear canal and then suck out the debris. I’ve done ear candling a few times (with the assistance of friends) and have found it to work—the best part of the whole process is cutting open the candle at the end and seeing all the crap that was sucked out. It’s really satisfying if you’re into nasty stuff like I am. However, our lovely style editor, Erin, has informed me there are some who think that the process could damage the ear drum or something, so either go to a professional or, you know, avoid it entirely and just watch this vid. [via Jessica Simpson’s TwitVid]

• Jessica Simpson isn’t happy about being thrown into the Tiger Woods mistress mix by Star. [PopEater]
• Reese Witherspoon ended it with Jake Gyllenhaal because she felt marriage pressure. [Starpulse]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin‘s divorce probably won’t happen until next year. [E! Online]

There are nine days until Christmas. I don’t know if you understand what that means in tabloid time, but I’m going to tell you anyway: There is going to be a huge push to make something significant happen in Hollywood. We’re talking love, people. In the next two weeks, major love will be happening in the tabloids, and maybe even in reality too. And because you maybe only care just enough to read this blog, we’ve read all the tabloids for you and compiled the SparkNotes-style version here. Live, learn, and love, people. And Happy Kwanznakkuhsmas!

Sure, we all get a little nostalgic when we hear “Today” and think back to those hazy grunge rock days of leaning against lockers, buying Manic Panic and rocking flannel shirts. But we’re still reeling from the news that Jessica Simpson might be dating former Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan. A source told E! News, “She has fallen hard and is smitten,” and confirmed that they are “officially dating.” [People]

What’s with the dark and mysterious man of no hair and his string of gorgeous lady friends? Here’s a look back at the many loves of Billy Corgan.

• Jessica Simpson is dating Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins, according to reports. WTF? [Starpulse]
• Sandra Bullock and Jesse James have won custody of his 5-year-old daughter. [PopEater]
• Uma Thurman and her fiancé, multimillionaire Arpad Busson, have supposedly broken up. [Us Weekly]

Since Thanksgiving is a holiday about giving thanks, take a minute today to thank Hollywood for providing us with an endless supply of drama—no matter how slow the news week. And it must have been limping this week—all of the tabloids took up valuable gossip space with gift guides. Still, there’s lots of stories to share. So grab some mashed potatoes and take a minute to catch up on the super true goings-on of celebrity world.

The Simpson sisters have truly got each other’s backs. First Jessica dissed “Melrose Place” for ditching Ashlee. Now Ashlee’s telling all the folks who criticized Jessica’s weight which way is up. In the most recent issue of Women’s Health, she said, “My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she’s one sexy lady.” [Examiner]

It’s really sweet that they stand by each other. I wish I had someone to do damage control on my weight gains for me. Thankfully, for these celebrities, their siblings are ready to throw punches on their behalf.

I’ve always thought it was really sweet that Jessica Simpson and Dolly Parton are friends. When Jessica flubbed the words to “9 to 5” performing for President Bush a few years back, Dolly said to the press, “Jessica is so talented that I’m sure that someday they will be paying tribute to her.” When folks poked fun at Jessica’s weight, Dolly told Larry King, “People always treat her bad. They always talk bad about her. I just recorded a song with her a few months ago. And I’ve never been around a person any sweeter in my life.” These two have a ton in common—the big blond hair, the country roots, and, of course, their massive chests. Well, last night on Twitter, they finally acknowledged the latter commonality. Dolly Tweeted, “Ahhh chiropractor ... Hurts so good : - ) you lug these around and see if your back don’t hurt!” To which Jessica responded, “Amen sister : - ).”

Here’s hoping they start a group called the Big Tittie Committee and invite Pamela Anderson to join them in discussing the woes of being top-heavy. [Huffington Post]

“I don’t want to get bored. I can bore out pretty easily, so I love intellectual men ... people that will always keep me intrigued…. And, you know, I love artistic men—somebody that really understands their art.”

—Jessica Simpson on what she looks for in a man. An intellectual artiste, huh? Well, that explains what she saw in Nick Lachey. [PopEater]

Poor Jessica Simpson! First she had to sleep between not one, but two nets to keep the bugs out of her bed in Uganda, and now she has risked her life for her new show, “The Price of Beauty.” Here is a Twitpic the singer posted of her and BF hairstylist Ken Paves at the airport departing for India. See how happy and blissfully unaware they are about what horrors they might encounter upon their arrival? The same day they landed in Bollywood to film a segment for the reality program, Indian health officials announced that over 13,000 people are infected with swine flu. Still, brave Jessica and Ken soldiered on, and as of press time, neither one has contracted the illness. The price of beauty, indeed. (Am I the only person who kind of can’t wait to see this show? Quite possibly, yes.) [Examiner]

Jessica Simpson really hasn’t had a great year. First, Tony Romo dumped her the day before her Barbie and Ken-themed birthday party, and then she witnessed a coyote snatching her beloved maltipoo, Daisy. Recently, meaning just last Sunday, she was the subject of a Fox and Burger King ad that aired during “Fox NFL Sunday.” In the ad, as you can see above, a few Dallas Cowboys players mock Tony for dating Jessica because she’s so fat. Both Fox and Burger King have released statements regarding the ad. Read them after the jump.

Jessica Simpson is known for her talent golden locks. Her hairstylist, Ken Paves, is known for his talent ability to manipulate said golden locks into perfect, gleaming platinum curls and bows and whistles via irons and curlers and extensions and lots of hairspray. Today, Simpson, seen checking out of the Ritz-Carlton in Manhattan, looks like she got a much-needed makeunder or something. Welcome to a world where very tan, bleached-out men don’t follow you around with a hairbrush, darling! It’s so freeing, no? To get the look, do nothing. Don’t even brush your hair. Add sunnies. Viola! [NYC, 10/14/09]

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are reportedly donezo. Though nothing has been officially confirmed and the couple was seen together earlier this week, it would be a slightly shocking breakup, mostly for the alleged claim that Rihanna is JT’s other woman. After three years of on-again, off-again for Jessica and Justin, all it took was some sightings with the feisty singer to launch a truckload of rumors. [Terra] Though they might not be over IRL, it reminded us of some other shocking celebrity breakups!

There’s nothing more traumatizing then a big, dirty Hollywood breakup and the mudslinging that follows. Example: Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo. The sudden breakup, the canceled birthday party, the boat drama, the mental breakdown. But could all of this mess have been prevented by some good relationship advice? No, I’m not talking about a top-dollar A-list shrink. I’m talking about Canadian relationship expert Sharon Spencer. Sharon has made a charming (?) series of videos offering complimentary celebrity relationship counseling to Hollywood couples. Maybe Jessica and Tony would still be together today had they only listened to Sharon’s wise advice: “Tony be gentle and Jessica ride a cowboy.” After the jump, some more sage advice from Sharon Spencer and, sometimes, if you’re lucky, her husband Fred.

Sadly, Jessica Simpson‘s dog, Daisy, is still missing after being snatched by a coyote. On Wednesday night, Jessica twoted, “Still holding out hope despite the a**holes that say is it a dumb thing to do. Daisy is my baby ... why would I stop searching? I’m a mom.” Martha Stewart added some insult to injury in the situation saying, “It’s pretty sad. She should have watched it more closely, though. She should have been more careful.” Ouch. That’s helpful, Martha. But, evidently, dogs are snatched by coyotes pretty often in Los Angeles. Ozzy Osbourne and Halle Berry both experienced this first-hand.

Is it just us or does Jessica Simpson look really, really stoked to be storming down the catwalk in this Ozlem Suer fashion show? Huh. [Paris, 9/4/09]