OK, so there is one thing we really like about Jay Leno‘s show—the “Earn Your Plug” segments, where he makes a celebrity do some stupid thing before they get to tell people to go see their newest movie. Last night, Jessica Biel earned the right to plug her new flick and hurt our stomachs in the process. Jay had her eat chocolate-covered things. It started off OK, with chocolate-covered strawberries, but went downhill pretty fast with chocolate-covered pizza and chocolate-covered bacon. And then came the chocolate-covered cricket. Jess gulped down the little critter but looked completely disgusted. On the bright side, no one can accuse her of not eating ... on Wednesday night, at least. 

Want me to make you feel lazy for a minute? While you were feeling proud of yourself for making it to the gym a few times so far in the new year, Jessica Biel, Emile Hirsch, Lupe Fiasco, and Santi White were on a quest to climb Mount Kiliminjaro to raise awareness about the horrible state of drinking water around the globe. Today, after six days on the trail, they reached the summit of the tallest peak in Africa at 19,340 feet. Along the way, they encountered heavy rains, single-digit temperatures, and even a blizzard, but kept on trucking to take this photo at the top. “The last 48 hours have been the most intense and physically grueling experience of my life,” said Emile. “Miraculously, we all made it to the top together.” Lupe Fiasco added, “The thrill of conquering your fears, especially in such a physically and mentally taxing environment, can’t really be done justice in words.” Good work, folks. Now go buy the world a Coke. [People]

Yes, that’s a curse word in the title. More than a decade later, Jessica Biel is still trying to knock the “7th Heaven” good girl dust off herself. She did a pretty good job of that in “Powder Blue,” playing a stripper who (almost) takes it all off. But sadly, the movie was released straight-to-DVD and wasn’t nearly the breakthrough she was hoping for. Next she was set to star in a sexual satire called “Nailed” (directed by David O. Russell of “Three Kings” and “I Heart Huckabees” fame) until it got shelved. But, do not fret! Jessica has another edgy project in the works. She has signed on to star in and produce a movie that ... (wait for it) ... has an expletive in the title. “F**king Engaged” is a kid-gloves-off comedy about a couple who make a pact to bone every day before their wedding day, so they don’t become old fogies who never do it. The flick has the potential to be the female answer to “The 40 Year Old Virgin” or “The Hangover”—it’s written by a breakout, young, female screenwriter, Julia Brownell. I’m just glad Jessica wasn’t “too pretty” for the role. [Yahoo News]

• Rihanna is rumored to have tracked down Jessica Biel‘s phone number in order to tell the actress that she is not with Justin Timberlake. [Your Tango]—At least not yet, she isn’t. Nah, but seriously, Rihanna is that fierce bitch that would cut you at a party and keep dancing while you bled, but not on her Louboutins.
• PopEater has scored an exclusive interview with Jon Gosselin, so who needs tabloids? [PopEater]—He brags about all the paparazzi that followed him in Reading, PA, and Los Angeles. That’s classic Jon.
• Soulja Boy was arrested in Atlanta for obstruction when he returned to an abandoned house where he and his friends had been hanging to get his white Range Rover. He reportedly tried to convince officers that the fleeing group of juveniles were there to film a video. [E! Online]—He tried to tell ‘em, but they wouldn’t listen.

• Justin Timberlake‘s grandmother, Sadie Bomar, said he never wanted to marry Jessica Biel and, as far as his family was concerned, he was single. [NYDailyNews.com]—She was only a rebound girlfriend that lasted longer than usual, in my opinion.
• Heidi Klum has reportedly filed papers to change her last name to Samuel, Seal’s last name. [One India]—Seal has a last name?!
• Brad Pitt supposedly had another “secret meeting” with Jennifer Aniston because he wanted to discuss his relationship with Angelina Jolie [Daily Mail]—Jen asked to be their new adoptee but was quickly turned down.

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are reportedly donezo. Though nothing has been officially confirmed and the couple was seen together earlier this week, it would be a slightly shocking breakup, mostly for the alleged claim that Rihanna is JT’s other woman. After three years of on-again, off-again for Jessica and Justin, all it took was some sightings with the feisty singer to launch a truckload of rumors. [Terra] Though they might not be over IRL, it reminded us of some other shocking celebrity breakups!

Another week, another Wednesday. This one, just like all the others before, is full of wonderment and speculation. That’s right. It’s tabloid time! The personal lives of celebrities have been reduced to poignant blurbs and glossy cover lines. We’ve read through all the magical pages of our favorite smack-talking ‘bloids and plum-picked the most interesting tidbits. Now if only they were all true. Enjoy!

Sure Jessica Biel may come off a touch prissy, but she’s got a pretty rugged plan for January—she has signed on to climb Mount Kilimanjaro, the highest peak in Africa. Why? For clean water—and not just because she might get really thirsty during the 19,000-foot hike. Biel is braving the treacherous peak as part of the Summit on the Summit expedition. Singer and producer Kenna organized the group in honor of his father who suffered diseases from drinking unclean water as a child growing up in Ethiopia. Biel believes that access to clean water is “a basic human necessity that needs to be addressed now” and is honored to be climbing Kilimanjaro with the team to help raise awareness and hopefully some dough. So I’m sure you’re all wondering what I’m wondering…is Justin Timberlake joining her? It’s not confirmed, but in a recent issue of GQ he said he was preparing for a major mountain climb. Translation: following Jess’ bum up Mount Kili. [Pop Eater]

Jessica Biel has been ranked more dangerous than any of those burly, gun-toting, wannabe bad-ass celebs. Don’t go seeking her out online because, trust me, your search will end badly. Computer security company McAfee reveals that one out of every five internet searches for this actress ends at a website that will cause your computer to score a virus or some other techie disease. Last year, Brad Pitt was numero uno in terms of dangerous searching, but now he’s not even in the top five. This year, bootylicious Beyoncé is second, followed by Jennifer Aniston, Tom Brady and Jessica Simpson. I don’t really understand how Tom slipped into that list. He’s making the top five look like a game of “which one of these is not like the other?” [AP via Yahoo]

Jessica Biel must have worked pretty hard in rehearsal for her “Guys and Dolls” debut at the Hollywood Bowl later this month if she thinks she needs to drink an entire gallon of water afterward. [LA, 7/21/09]

“She’s too sexy for her job, too sexy for her job, so sexy…” Yes, I changed the lyrics, but the message still fits. Recently-fired UK prison officer Amitjo Kajila wants payback. The 22-year-old is demanding reparations from Justice Secretary Jack Straw after he allegedly fired her for…being too pretty. Officers said the size 4 Kajila received frequent inmate attention due to her make-up and revealing clothes, posing a security risk to herself and the prison. (Really they’re just jealous!) Kajila claims the other officers bullied her for her appearance and called her a “stupid little girl.” (Hey, It’s not her fault she’s hawt!) I guess besides being locked up, ugly prison guards are another drawback to the clink. [Daily Mail]

Amitjo isn’t the only woman suffering from Pretty People Prejudice (hell, there’s a whole documentary about them!). After the jump, other people who claim their flawless complexion got them the boot.

Oh, Lindsay. Evidently, “Hangover” director Todd Phillips offered her the part of Jade, the stripper, after Lohan’s agent worked hard to get her considered. But she didn’t like the script and turned it down. So Heather Graham ended up playing the part. And, of course, the movie went on to become one of the hottest flicks of the summer. This is pretty ironic, because LiLo has stripped on screen before—in the flick “I Know Who Killed Me,” a 2007 movie that most people have never even heard of.

To rub it in Lohan’s face a little bit more, here’s a video slideshow of some of Hollywood’s biggest starlets playing strippers. [NY Post]

Escorting girlfriend Jessica Biel to the after party for her new movie, “Easy Virtue.” [NYC, 5/11/09]

Justin Timberlake takes girlfriend Jessica Biel out for a run along the Hudson River in New York City. Seriously, Jess chases him around like it’s her career. That girl needs to back off my man and get a real job. [NYC, 4/30/09]