I am a little worried about the possibility of an impending apocalypse. Not only is Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi sober, pregnant, and excited to be a mom—but Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has a girlfriend. Yes, a girlfriend. You know, one of those people who you let keep a toothbrush at your place rather than calling a cab to take home approximately five minutes after you’re done smushing? Her name is Caitlin J. Wood. Here’s hoping that she has had a full STD screening, and enjoys cleaning out hot tubs. Keep reading »
It seems that, while in between seasons of “Jersey Shore,” Deena Cortese got some work done. Hey, Snooki can’t get all the attention. I’m not one of those professional plastic surgery experts that gives their opinion on non-patients to the gossip rags, but it looks like she got her nose done, and maybe everything else too. I think she kind of looks like Sammi Sweetheart meets Nicole Scherzinger. I just hope her adorable meatball personality remained intact. [via Celebitchy]
Ron-Ron Juice is the creation of “Jersey Shore” meatball Ronnie. Go-Go Juice is the invention of “Coupon Queen” June, mother of “Toddlers and Tiaras” breakout star “Honey Boo-Boo Child” Alana. Both get their users hyped up and ready for the club/pageant stage. Both cause uncontrollable freak outs and grabby hands. But while Go-Go juice relies solely on a heady combo of high fructose corn syrup and caffeine, Ron-Ron juice has an added advantage: maraschino cherries. What, you thought we were going to say vodka, didn’t you?
Interesting choice, TV Guide: the girls of “Jersey Shore” dished out Valentine’s Day love advice, like JWoww’s wise words that you can attract a man with “flourescent colors and leopard print.” The sad thing is that I don’t know if she was talking about makeup, hair, nails or clothes.
Alas, there are some topics that the ladies of “Jersey Shore” can speak knowledgeably about, but relationships are not one of them. Here are some topics they actually qualified to speak on…
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It’s that time again: “Jersey Shore” infects your TV again tonight. (Itch, itch, itch.) God, I can’t wait. “Mob Wives” return to television is not making me stupid enough. The boys stopped by Jimmy Kimmel’s couch this week to talk tanning and Jimmy couldn’t resist a question about whether there have ever been any dude-on-dude “hijinks in the shower.” There haven’t yet … at least none that anyone will admit to. I guess Deena’s hookup with one of The Situation’s twins in Italy was the first, and last, slightly gay thing to happen on that show. [Perez Hilton]
Whoa boy, there’s no end to the “Jersey Shore” scourge. The show’s producers have now cast their sights on a new breed of hyper-constructed reality: nerd reality. Their new show, “Fandom Rising” (let’s hope this is the working title), is casting for “eight strangers for a mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new lifestyles and relationships, to boldly go where no fanboy or fangirl has gone before.” Keep reading »
Jenni “JWoww” Farley is probably my favorite castmate on “Jersey Shore,” which is kind of like saying, “Chlamydia is my favorite STD.” And yes, expecting class, grace and tastefulness from anyone in the Shore house would would be ridiculous. However, JWoww’s new line of stick-on bikinis is really next level. You know, stick-on bikinis. Because tying a bikini is really too hard. Keep reading »
I am a self-described Smart Girl. I probably possess several other positive traits but my intelligence is one that I cling to and frequently define myself by. I have an MA in Applied Linguistics, I’ve been known to read Dickens on the beach and I have Very Strong Feelings about the correct use of “you’re.”
And yet? I never, ever miss an episode of MTV’s favorite train wreck: “Jersey Shore.”
Now, before you give yourself a headache from all that eye-rolling, I’d like to state my case. Keep reading »