I don’t know how, but it’s Wednesday again. Time to head over to TGIW for some wings and beer and pretend there aren’t 2.5 more days left in the work week. And with all the excitement of award shows and new TV seasons starting up again, you might not have realized that celebrities have been creating little scandals for our amusement! Or, more accurately, that the tabloid writers have been racking their brains to find fictional ways to thrill us. And because you’re an adult who doesn’t have time to worry about such pettiness, we’ve done it for you by compiling the most interesting stories from all your favorite tabloids. You’re welcome.

• Gerard Butler continues to kiss up a storm—this time it wasn’t Jennifer Aniston. [Dlisted]
• Most celebrity comic books are poorly written cash grabs. Here are the 11 worst culprits.[Maxim]
• Burger King will open its first beer-selling, real restaurant. [F-Listed]

Poor Jennifer Aniston. Though I’m firmly on Team Angie (I’m sorry, but I can’t suffer through any more of your crappy rom-coms, Jen), I do feel kinda bad about the following: In scrutinizing her Golden Globes dress, a couple of press members have observed that major thigh-baring gowns are an Angelina Jolie red carpet staple, and Aniston has clearly copied her!

“Chalk it up to monkey-see, monkey do, imitation being the sincerest form of flattery or a subtle message from Jen to Angie that ‘anything you can do I can do better.’”

Oh crikey. Can’t a girl just wear a dang dress? To add insult to sartorial injury, others have not-so-subtly called her fat. [New York Daily News ]

“All I want to do now is f**k the girls I’ve already f**ked, because I can’t fathom explaining myself to somebody who can’t believe I’d be interested in them. I’m too freaked out to meet anybody else. I met a girl one time in Vegas. Her name was Dimples, and the ‘s’ in Dimples was a dollar sign. I have this weird feeling, a pride thing, for the people I’ve had relationships with. I still feel like I’m with them, in the sense that if I f**ked Dimples, what does that say about someone like Jen? I feel like it’s all connected. How could I ever cosmically relate these two people? What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is f**king fantastic, if I said to her, ‘I don’t dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well. But I have to back out of this because it doesn’t arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny,’ and then I see myself f**king Dimples? What does that say for my case?”

— John Mayer explaining to Rolling Stone magazine that the only thing that keeps him from effing every woman he meets is worrying about how Jen (Aniston) would feel about it. [via US Weekly]

How are those New Year’s resolutions going? It’s only four days into 2010, so hopefully the plans for a better lifestyle are still intact. If part of your new decade includes shaping up your diet (or um, looking hotter), then here’s a list you’ll be interested in. Of course we all know what you put in your mouth does more than simply sate you hunger-wise, but did you know that certain foods may actually make your hair shinier and healthier? Instead of ingesting capsule vitamins to meet your daily needs, get your fill of vitamins A, C, protein, omega-3 fatty acid, and alpha-linolenic acid with these foods and even Jennifer Aniston will have hair envy. Read on for your grocery list:

Over the last ten years, we’ve watched our favorite celebs hook up, break up, break down, flip out and start over. With all of its love triangles, legal battles, family dramas and political scandals, the “Naughties” certainly earned its wicked name!

It’s hump day again and since it’s the holiday season, we wish goodwill towards men. Except when those men go around shtupping a dozen ladies on the side, breaking hearts, and impregnating uteruses. And just so we always know who the bad guys are, we scrounge up all the totally, kinda true rumors about everyone and lay it out for your amusement, one tabloid at a time. These are the days of our lives, people.

Even if you don’t give two figs about the Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston/Angelina Jolie triangulated love mess, we’re sure you’ll find a recent excerpt of the forthcoming book Brangelina dishy. Brad is a pothead! Jen had two miscarriages! Angelina has a horrible temper! And that’s not all ...

Since Thanksgiving is a holiday about giving thanks, take a minute today to thank Hollywood for providing us with an endless supply of drama—no matter how slow the news week. And it must have been limping this week—all of the tabloids took up valuable gossip space with gift guides. Still, there’s lots of stories to share. So grab some mashed potatoes and take a minute to catch up on the super true goings-on of celebrity world.

“I mean, someone with a figure like Jennifer Aniston has a trainer, a cook spinning out some version of the latest diet, and probably a stop at the tanning salon. Then teenage girls go, ‘God, I wish I could look like that.’ Maybe they wouldn’t if they knew what it took.’”

—Amanda Peet on how much work it takes to have a figure like Jennifer Aniston in Parade [Showbiz Spy]

• John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are back together, according to People and Us Weekly. [Dlisted]—Yeah, she’s that pathetic, and he probably has another project to sell.
• Kimora Lee brought adorable baby Kenzo Lee Hounsou to work with her recently. [OK! Magazine]—His cuteness almost melted the coldness that has crept into my heart. Almost.

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are reportedly donezo. Though nothing has been officially confirmed and the couple was seen together earlier this week, it would be a slightly shocking breakup, mostly for the alleged claim that Rihanna is JT’s other woman. After three years of on-again, off-again for Jessica and Justin, all it took was some sightings with the feisty singer to launch a truckload of rumors. [Terra] Though they might not be over IRL, it reminded us of some other shocking celebrity breakups!

It’s the middle of the week, your boss totally hates you (he/she’s such a jerk!), you forgot to Tivo “90210” last night, and the coffee machine is broken again. Your life totally sucks. Fear not! You will forget all the drama of your stress-infused life once you get a load of this week’s tabloid stories. After the jump, we’ve compiled all the questionable headlines from this week’s crop of ‘bloids, so you can impress your water cooler friends and distract yourself from the follies of hump day.

Danielle Staub of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” has some serious beef with Jennifer Aniston. Aniston was recently a guest on “Chelsea Lately” to talk about her flick “The Bounty,” which was filmed in Atlantic City, New Jersey. At one point during the show, Aniston quipped simply, “What is with that smell?” This got Staub very riled up. She ranted to Us Weekly, “Why don’t you see more of New Jersey before you say it smells? If it were so bad, I wouldn’t be living here for 22 years. I will personalize a tour and take her to a fabulous lunch on me afterwards, all homemade Italian food, and a tour of all the wonderfully smelling places in New Jersey.” [NY Daily News]

I get the state pride, but who cares if someone thinks your state smells? Real Housewives, that’s who. But Aniston isn’t the only celeb to speak ill of a state or city. Here are a few other celebs who totally hate America, kinda! 

John Mayer has been trying to make Jennifer Aniston his girlfriend again. They always come back, don’t they ladies? First he dumped her via text message last August (ouch!) and then, after a brief reunion, broke up with her again in March. Apparently, now John has been begging her for another chance. The balladeer has gone boo-hoo for his Hollywood honey.

Sure, our own Erin and conventional wisdom say that in life you only get one chance. But in love, there are no rules. However, there is good advice, not to mention learning from your mistakes. That’s why I’m going to share with you the biggest relationship mistake I ever made.

Yesterday, Jennifer Aniston appeared on “Ellen,” and made the mistake of telling the soon-to-be “American Idol” judge that she’ll be singing and playing the steel drum in “The Goree Girls,” a movie about a group of women in prison who form a country western band and became the Dixie Chicks of their time. So, of course, Ellen prodded her into singing. Turns out, Jennifer was kind of good. Or at least, better than one would have expected. “I would put you through to the next round,” said Ellen. We just wish she’d chimed in for a duet.

A few days back, Jennifer Aniston said that she still believes in love. Now that she’s promoting her flick “Love Happens,” she won’t shut up about it. In this interview, Jen seems a little disoriented and we aren’t really surprised because love isn’t exactly Jen’s strong suit. The interview really deteriorates when the actress compares trying too hard in a relationship to selling a car. She then mixes metaphors and talks about going into a “rental” situation and compares a relationship to the structure of a house. The interviewer adds that he’d like an option to buy, presumably if “love happens,” and I start to wonder if I’m watching a home makeover show.

Despite being America’s favorite broken-hearted sweetheart, to promote her new movie, “Love Happens,” Jennifer Aniston confessed to Australian Harper’s Bazaar that she’s still very hopeful. “I’m still a romantic,” she said. “I still believe in love.” [Celebitchy]

Awww ... I don’t know if Jen’s serious or if she’s just trying to trick us into thinking that she’s really falling for Aaron Eckhart so we go see the movie. Since Jennifer isn’t the only lady in Hollywood who’s had a rough ride on the relationship train, I thought I’d look up what some other unlucky in love ladies have to say about romance. And they were pretty easy to find by searching John Mayer‘s exes.