First, we had to swear off “The View” when we found out that Kate Gosselin and Meghan McCain would be sitting down at the table with Joy, Whoopi, et al. Now, “The Today Show” is gonna be off limits, too. Guess who they’ve hired to be a special correspondent, reporting a story per month? Jenna Bush. Yep, the Bush twin who made underage drinking an artform and who consistently drove her secret service detail batty. Here’s what Jenna, who also managed to squeeze a book deal out of the whole being-a-former-president’s-daughter thing, had to say about her new gig. “It wasn’t something I’d always dreamed to do. But I think one of the most important things in life is to be open-minded and to be open-minded for change.” Uh, Jenna? Your puppy didn’t just die—you just got the ultimate cushy gig hosting on one of the most popular shows on television. If you’re not feeling it, I could find you, uh, thousands of broadcast journalism majors who’d be down. [People]

Former first daughter Jenna Bush has gone over to the dark darker side. Her new brunette ‘do is a big difference from her famously blond locks. Now, we have a few theories as to why she would go there: to curate a more mysterious look, to stand out from her sister, for a change after her recent wedding. Most likely, she read our insanely popular post, “10 Reasons Why Being A Brunette Is Awesome.” Whatever the reason, we like. You?

At first glance, Jenna and Barbara Bush look like polite and proper daughters standing with their presidential parents, Laura and George W. But apparently the wholesome twosome were quite a rebellious pair. A new tell-all book reveals that Jenna and Barbara annoyed the bejeezus out of their secret service agents. And, sheesh, you know it’s bad when secret service agents start talking. A good portion of Ronald Kessler’s book, In the President’s Secret Service: Behind the Scenes With Agents in the Line of Fire and the Presidents They Protect, which will hit bookstores next month, is dedicated to the girls’ various escape methods and the wild goose chases they led their agents on. Not to mention the girls’ many public faux paus cleaned up by agents—most notably protecting Jenna after her drunk-off-his-ass fiancé started a fight in a bar. A former Washington Post reporter, Kessler documents the Bushies’ entertaining past while he looks into the Obama’s secret service present. Somehow I just don’t think protecting Sasha and Malia will be as tiring. Too much “Hannah Montana” is probably their biggest worry. [New York Post]

They kinda make an adorable, dorky couple don’t they? [Crawford, TX, 5/5/08]

While making plans for the weekend, don’t forget to think about how you’ll celebrate Jenna Bush’s nuptials. Residents of Crawford, TX, where the wedding will take place, are really getting into it despite the fact that few, if any, of the town’s residents have been invited. One gift shop plans to serve punch and cake this weekend, a couple stores are selling coffee mugs commemorating the event, and an angel statue that overlooks the main intersection in Crawford will wear a veil and carry a bouquet on Saturday. Even Bush protesters are taking the day off: “You don’t blame the children for the sins of their parents,” said Carl Rising-Moore, who has protested during every Bush visit here the past several years. “I don’t want to spoil her day.” Aww, sweet. [AP]

Previously: Bridesmaid Dresses Don’t Have To Be Fugs

Jenna Bush is getting married on May 10th and USA Today got a good look at her bridal party’s outfits, designed by Lela Rose. Our first impression is that Jenna’s bridesmaids won’t be tossing these dresses in the Hall Of Shame bin the second the ceremony is over. [USA Today]