This morning, I saw this commercial for Old Navy jeans. In it, a row of women submit their butts to the scrutiny of … the Booty Reader. An Old Navy store has been quasi-converted into a state fair, where the aforementioned Booty Reader is like the old woman fortune teller in a glass case who predicts your future and doles out cards. Only, this time around, the fortune teller is played by one of those Old Navy mannequins, and if you bend over and stick your butt in her face, she issues proclamations about your jeans-clad butt like, “Those Sweetheart jeans make your booty smile from cheek to cheek.” That prompts all the other mannequins to start talking about their smiling booties and “happy booties.” Frankly, I don’t even really get what happens at the end, other than the Booty Reader falls over, I think from being overwhelmed by all the booty talk. When I watch something like this, I always wonder how much the company spent to make it — like, a million bucks, maybe, to come up with the concept? And how many meetings took place in which a group of serious-faced ad people considered all the different ways butts could be discussed in this commercial, including the “happy booty” idea? My butt is frowning over these questions. Update:
you can upload a photo of your butt
to Old Navy’s Booty Reader website
for a “booty reading” to find out what jeans are best for your derriere. It’s like American Apparel’s butt contest
! Except, you know, not. Keep reading »
I thought unintentionally exposed thongs and butt cleavage were things of the past for most women. Through trial and error, we’ve learned that low-rise panties and long tops are best for low-rise jeans. And speaking of low-rise jeans, most women I know have given up on that teeny-bopper look, choosing jeans and pants that have a rise closer to their belly buttons. So the reasoning behind My Panteez, thong underwear with a sheer waistband, is a little confusing. Those women still walking and sitting with their thongs exposed probably desire that look, and My Panteez is lost on them. I can, however, see My Panteez working under skin-tight dresses or skirts. You know, the kind Kim Kardashian wears. [My Panteez] Keep reading »
Want a great new pair of jeans but hate the idea of spending hundreds on them? You’re not alone — a new survey from ShopSmart found that the average woman spends only $34 on a pair of jeans.
Don’t fret, we’ve searched out some of today’s hottest looks for under $40. Ready, set, shop! Read more … Keep reading »
As much as we may bemoan the deplorable influence of certain types of harem pants on the fashion scene, we at least understand some of the logic behind them. Sure, you may walk around looking like MC Hammer’s protégé or Lawrence of Arabia, but at least you’ll be comfortable. We can’t, however, find anything similar to say of these new drop crotch skinny jeans for guys. Basically, they’re harem pants made of denim. We’d say these would probably rank up there in the discomfort zone right next to yoga jeans. [Oak] Keep reading »
Hello! SkinnyJeans (yeah, awesome name) claim to make you look 15 pounds thinner, and they’ve been getting a lot of press because of it. The trick to these jeans, says the company, includes a “Disguised Stomach Flattener, Sexy Thigh-Scooping/Buttocks-Lifting Shape, Leg Lengthening Design in Barely-Boot Cut, and Smart Shading & Fading.” Sounds like a lot of fancy talk? It would seem it is. Fashionista.com tried out the denim wares for themselves and found that there are some major design flaws, like super-fake whiskering and dye-jobs gone wrong, and the tester said, “I definitely did not look 15 pounds thinner. I didn’t even look five pounds thinner … The bottom line: These are really stretchy jeans that are fairly comfortable but not earth-shattering in terms of fit or style.” The lesson here? Only way to lose 15 pounds fast is to chop off a few limbs.
However, in all seriousness, we’d like to know—any jeans you swear by for making your booty look significantly smaller and your body generally slammin’? Share your secret in the comments! [Fashionista] Keep reading »
An Australian jury acquitted 23-year-old Nicholas Gonzales of rape because it refused to believe the alleged victim’s skinny jeans could have been removed without “collaboration.” Gonzales and the alleged victim, a 24-year-old woman, met for drinks in April 2008 and then returned to his house to listen to music. Gonzales claims they had consensual sex together; the victim says she was raped and “I struggled to try to get up for a while and then he undid my jeans and he pulled them off.” But defense lawyer Paul Hogan said he thought it would be “difficult for skinny jeans to be taken off by someone else unless the wearer’s assisting, collaborating, consenting.” And the jury believed him. Keep reading »
Pollution of the Pearl River has long posed a problem for China’s ecosystem; however, the degree of contamination has become twice as bad since 2007. One reason, according to a new Greenpeace report, points to the denim factories lining the banks of the water. Clearly, China is a huge manufacturer of consumer goods, and the denim industry also relies heavily on Chinese production. According to CNN, Xintang (a town that is home to many of these factories) “produces 200 million pairs of jeans per year including 60 different foreign brands. That is just under half of the 450 million pairs of jeans sold annually in the United States.” During the dye process, garments are bathed in harsh chemicals, and while many of these companies claim that they recycle this contaminated water, the truth is that it’s simply dumped into the river. This isn’t just an environmental issue; several of the toxins released are cancer-causing. Keep reading »
In an apparent bid to make the Canadian Tuxedo cool, Net-A-Porter will open a denim e-boutique this Wednesday. Given Net-A-Porter’s history of awesomeness, we’re pretty excited about the whole thing. The site’s denim selection is already pretty legit, with everything from straight-up jeans to jackets to bags included, which makes us a little too excited. Yes, with names like J Brand and Victoria Beckham denim, most of it will be out of our price range, but it makes research for a jean splurge really, really easy. Plus, a Jean Team is on hand to help you find the right fit, and it never hurts to have someone tell you whether or not your ass is going to look good in them jeans. [Elle UK] Keep reading »
Honestly, we expected jeans from Victoria’s Secret to be rhinestoned and distressed to the point of being so not permissible outside of areas like oh, say, the Jersey Shore. So we kind of wrote them off. As it turns out, they’re a decent fit, nice price and come in some pretty legit styles. Our bad. The ones at left are only $59.50, super simple and cute and come in three different lengths, meaning you maybe don’t have to feel like a midget as your tailor hems them three inches. Check out the site for more styles, avoid uber-distressing and save $15 if you spend $100 right now. Not a bad deal if you ask us. Keep reading »
For some reason, I’m completely incapable of tucking my jeans into boots. Try and try as I may, I inevitably end up with an excess of jean above my shoes, causing me to abandon the effort and move on to heels or flats instead. It could be due to the fact that I rarely wear jeans, or maybe my boots are not the right design for stuffing, or maybe it’s just me. Whatever the reason, someone finally came up with a solution and I’m a little excited. Meet the Küza Strap, a suspender-looking device which hooks to the bottom of your jeans, ensuring that your pants are pulled tight to avoid those awkward fabric rolls and inadequate tucks. It’ll set you back $16, which is a lot for a simple device, but we’ll leave it to you to decide if the price is worth jean perfection. Or you can just buy riding pant clips for $3.99. [Racked] Keep reading »