After about 1.5 years of dating (four months of it long distance), my boyfriend, Tom, and I have decided to split so we can focus on our careers/degree. I said I was fine with seeing each other when we could and staying in each other’s lives under one condition: that he sees me in his life when he moves back to NY in a year and half. He said he wasn’t sure because, “I’ve always been bothered by who you have slept with before me.”  Tom and I are four years apart but attended the same schools growing up, and therefore have a lot of mutual friends/family friends/neighbors, etc.  One in particular is John, whom I had a relationship with and slept with when I was 16 years old. We had a dumb high school relationship that lasted all of 4 months. Five years later, John’s brother married Tom’s sister, and now Tom and John are, well, kind of related. This creeps Tom out. I was 16. It was nine years ago. I guess if Tom were once madly in love with my sister-in-law, I could see it being uncomfortable, but a random high school relationship? He told me, that for guys, learning your ex had SEX with a friend of theirs is the equivalent to how a girl feels when she finds out her ex was in LOVE with one of your friends. Is this true? Could it really be such a big deal for him? I didn’t even know Tom when I was with John! I want to make it work for us, but this is just something I can’t change. — Haunted By My Past

Some mean girls never grow up—they just get jobs in PR. Meet Ali Wise, age 32, a former party planner for Dolce & Gabbana who went bats**t with jealousy when her ex-boyfriend starting dating new women. She is facing charges from four women whose phones and voicemail she hacked into using a computer service called SpoofCard, all because they were dating her exes, Josh Deutsch, CEO of Downtown Records, and hotelier Jason Pomeranc. A friend of Wise told the NY Daily News she has used SpoofCard “forever to find out about her exes’ new girls. She hacks in to voicemails, MySpace and Facebook accounts, emails ... you name it.” Charges against this blonde bully include eavesdropping, computer trespassing, aggravated harassment and stalking. Ack! You sure don’t see this side of PR girls on The City ....

I have a girlfriend of eight months who I have not been able to see for three months due to financial issues and concerns. She recently started a new job in mid July 2009. Things appeared okay at first, but I noticed that things started to change quickly between us after she returned from an out-of-state training she went to with her (married) male boss. She started telling me she has to attend weekly lunch meetings with her boss at least 2 - 3 times per week. She’s stopped answering her cell phone during the day when I call, she refuses to respond to my text messages, she has been deleting e-mails from her computer so her children won’t be able to see them, she has been hiding text messages on the cell phones she is using (both the company’s and her personal). She removed the house phone and placed it in her car stating that she was concerned that her children would abuse it. She leaves the room when she gets a phone call that she does not want her children to hear. She calls me on her company issued cell phone as being private caller. When her boss calls her she quickly gets off the phone with me to talk with him. Today she referred to him by his first name three times. She told me that we could not see each other until she is able to lose 40 pounds. And she said that her boss told her that he cannot wait for them to relocate into their new office building so they’ll be able to share an office. What is going on that I am not accepting or seeing? I feel in my heart that they are having an affair. I need to know if I am justified in my feelings.

I’ve seen some things on Facebook that I wish I hadn’t. Last night, I was cruising my homepage when some pictures of my ex popped up in my newsfeed. We broke up years ago, so I thought to myself, “Why not? You can look. Who cares?” Apparently, I do. When I saw the pics of him and his girlfriend looking madly in love, I became insanely jealous. WTF? I’ve been over this guy for forever, so why was I so upset? Well, blame it on Facebook. According to a new study, the more time one spends on Facebook, the more likely she is to feel jealous toward her romantic partners, leading to more time on Facebook searching for additional information to fuel the jealousy. It’s an escalating cycle that may become addictive. So, I’m restricting my Facebook usage, lest I become like that girl who sent crazy emails to her BF while he was away in Europe. [Eureka Alert]

After the jump, cautionary tales of Facebook-inspired jealousy.

British men have been in the news a lot lately, but not for their admirable qualities. In fact, these men are rather jealous and insensitive and, oh, have a habit of murdering their partners. More after the jump.

After we watched Kate Winslet gush about her 15 year love for Leonardo DiCaprio at Sunday night’s Golden Globe Awards—in front of her husband, Sam Mendes, not to mention millions of viewers—we kind of got to wondering if men and women can really maintain tight friendships, if one or both of them is in a relationship. Personally, I’ve never been the jealous type and have never cared if my S.O. had close girlfriends—but then again, if I was ever given cause for worry (like they had hooked up before, or she was especially flirty) maybe my green-eyed monster would come out. And ever since the guys on my IM basically confirmed that men want to screw all their female friends on some level, I’ve wondered whether platonic friendships between men and women are even really possible, especially if there are boyfriends or girlfriends involved. So I went back to the fountains of boy wisdom to find out…

Something weird happened last night. I found myself feeling sorry for Spencer as I watched The Hills. Heidi was out on a totally contrived girls night out (GNO!), when Spence showed up by himself at the club and proceeded to get himself a drink and chat with people—including women. Heidi freaked out about him taking shots with these chicks and then went off on him flirting and acting like he wanted to see other people. Spencer maintained he did nothing wrong. And I kind of sort of agree. Ack! First of all, Heidi basically broke up with Spencer, because last I checked, when you make your boyfriend move out of the apartment you share together (which he found, by the way), you’re kind of breaking up with him. So while it was super annoying of Spencer to show up at the club where he knew Heidi’s big GNO was taking place, chit-chatting with people, even women, is not cheating. Shoot, I go out and chat with dudes all the time when my feef isn’t around, and I know he’s doing the same, and you know what? I don’t care. Because it’s just talking. Also, we live together and I didn’t kick his butt to the curb like some people.