This week’s season finale of “The Bachelor” may have been exciting, but really, when you think about it, the results were pretty typical of past seasons. Former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader Melissa squealed as Papa/Poo-Poo Bach slipped a ring on her finger. The episode ended with the two of them jumping in a pool for a smoochfest. Then, two seconds later, came the “After the Final Rose” special. And a teary eyed Jason proceeded to dump Melissa because “the chemistry had changed” and he was totes hung up on Molly, the girl he’d sent packing.
Shocker? Sure. But “The Bachelor” hardly has a track record for couples staying together for longer than their 15 minutes of fame. Currently, Poo-Poo and Sloppy are still together, but the likelihood of that lasting doesn’t look good. After the jump, exactly how long the “Bachelor” couples have stuck it out. Any woman thinking of responding to their next casting call, beware. Keep reading »
Last night’s episode of “The Bachelor,” and more specifically, the “After The Final Rose” special, hit close to home. After all, I was engaged, and then overnight my fiance decided he needed to go on a break, which was really him dumping me without saying so and looking like the bad guy, and I was never given the chance to fight for our relationship. It’s all good now, seriously. After much therapy and tears and internal reflection, I am doing just dandy and have definitely realized that our breakup was for the best. I suspect Melissa will come to realize this too, if she hasn’t already, and I’m sure everyone in her life is going to say things to her like, “Better now then after the wedding! Better now then after you have kids! Better now!” which is what everyone still says to me. And it’s true. YES, better now. But still, the fact that my ex, and Jason, made a decision that ultimately is better for the other person involved, doesn’t take away from the fact that they are selfish, immature, somewhat prickish d-bags. The fact that it’s better in the end for me, and for Melissa, is just luck and coincidence. It’s not a good deed. Neither wins a medal. End results matter, sure, but so does intent. Keep reading »
Regardless of which one of these MySpace pages belongs to Melissa Rycroft, who got her ass dumped on “The Bachelor” finale last night — take your pick — she appears to be super sad! Or, you know, totally humiliated. “Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear,” reads one, but we like the update on the other one better: “Mel is completely humiliated.” Molly Malaney, who got dumped and then reupped, doesn’t appear to have a social networking presence, probably because she knows everybody hates her guts now. Melissa, on the other hand, has multiple Facebook groups dedicated to her: “Jason Mesnick is a SCUM BAG for dumping Melissa Rycroft!” and “Thank You Jason, We Will Gladly Marry Melissa Rycroft.” I think we may have found the next Bachelorette. Keep reading »
Finally, the day we’ve all been waiting for is here! Papa Bach will give out his final rose tonight and, if the rumor we’ve heard are true, he promptly take it back on the “After The Final Rose” special and give it to the woman he rejected. Now that’s gonna be entertainment! But until then, both Melissa and Molly have a 50/50 chance of winning Jason Mesnick’s heart, and a 100% chance of boring us to tears. In the meantime, as we await the three hour extravaganza (and I’ll be liveblogging it, per usual, pity me), here’s a Face Off between Bubbly Bitch #1 and Bubbly Bitch #2…. Keep reading »
“The Bachelor” is about to wrap up its 13th season (or the 16th, if you include the four seasons of “The Bachelorette”), but hasn’t really been the subject of water cooler talk for years. It’s been enough of a success for ABC that they’ve kept it around this long, but studio execs finally struck oil again this season, by electing to feature Jason Mesnick as the man 25 women wanted to meet and marry. The show has seen a ratings surge of 37% above its last season (featuring my personal fave, The British Bach), and the network is already getting ready to do a casting call for a 14th season, after the fifth “Bachelorette” airs this summer. But can they recreate the success of this season? Only if they find another sexy single dad! It’s no coincidence that “The Bachelor” is suddenly the show to watch when the man in question is raising an adorable son on his own. After all, women LOVE a hot dad, especially a dad who has to shoulder the burden of parenthood all by his lonesome. All 25 women were eager to become insta-Step Mommies to Mesnick’s son — though most of them seem ill-equipped for the job. So what would happen if ABC tried the same approach with “The Bachelorette,” and found a (hot, always) single mom as its catch? Would 25 would be suitors come running, ready to be Insta-Step Daddies? Somehow I doubt it. Keep reading »
ABC is letting me down. Following up Matt Grant, the hot British guy, with rejected Bachelorette contestant Jason Mesnick for the next season of The Bachelor is such a huge letdown. I know plenty of other women who watched the show, gag, liked the guy, but I found him to be wimpy, and mealy-mouthed, and completely devoid of charm and dazzle. Though I know the producers are hoping to go in a new direction by having a single dad as The Bach, I just don’t buy this as a good spin for a reality TV dating show. It’s irresponsible for a father to date that many women on national TV and then ask one of them to marry him at the end, without having the child get to know what could be his new mommy. But whatevs. I think I am just upset that the next season of The Bachelor is going to be devoid of sex appeal. Keep reading »