Of course J&D Foods, the company responsible for baconlube and bacon shaving cream, have made bacon condoms. Not only do they smell and taste like pork, when you put them on, your penis looks like a strip of bacon. So basically, every inch of your business will be transformed into a greasy, smoked meat stick.
Bonus points for that brow cred.
Exceptions made for Josh Duggar, who need only write a note of apology to Jesus H. Christ.
Somebody call the wahmbulance.