Earlier this month, the world met Susan Patton, a 1977 graduate of Princeton University, authoress of the world’s snobbiest letter to the editor of The Daily Princetonian. Its utterly-sincere advice that female undergrads marry fellow Princetonians because they’ll never find men as intelligent anywhere else in the world — followed by the news that Patton had recently divorced and blamed her husband for attending a no-name college — made her an instant Internet villainess.
It also got her invited back to speak to Princeton last week, where she shared more of her dating tips, including: “A woman looking for a husband in her 30s gives off total desperation.” Such spinster harridans are absolute “man repellent,” she warned. Keep reading »
“Forget about having it all, or not having it all, leaning in or leaning out — here’s what you really need to know that nobody is telling you.”
That’s how now-infamous “Princeton Mom” Susan Patton began her letter to “Princeton women,” advising them to lock down a Princeton man by the time they graduate, lest their lives turn, over the next three decades or so, to fetid piles of vaguely unfulfilling upper-middle-class Princeton shit.
Princeton women — and all women, and actually everybody in a place of transition, as so many college students and young people and old people and middle-aged people are — please allow me to finish her premise with the actual thing you “really need to know that nobody is telling you.”
You don’t have a “shelf life.” There’s almost nothing you can’t undo, deal with or mitigate the damage of. You do not have to set your life trajectory on ascend, now or at any other time. You are going to be fine. Keep reading »
Last week, the world met Susan A. Patton, Princeton grad of ’77, whose uber-snobbish letter to the editor of the Daily Princetonian was heard ’round the globe. Patton’s screed, penned to “the daughters I never had,” warned the young ladies of Princeton that they should find their husbands now, in college, because men in the rest of the world are morons. You can read the whole ridiculous shitshow here, including the part where Patton kvelled about how her son, a Princeton student (of course), would be quite a catch.
This week, much to her childrens’ consternation, Princeton Mom is still talking. Keep reading »
Princeton graduates, in my experience, have been the most insufferable bunch of Ivy League braggadocios to ever walk this Earth. People I know who went to Yale, Harvard or Columbia don’t need to advertise it. But if someone went to Princeton, just like if someone is a vegan, THEY WILL TELL YOU.
Susan A. Patton, Princeton grad of ’77, does nothing to diminish this stereotype. In her laughably snobbish, elitist letter to the editor in the Daily Princetonian, “Advice For The Young Women Of Princeton: The Daughters I Never Had,” she advises female undergraduates to get their M.R.S. degree now now amongst the Princeton class, lest they be stuck marrying some nosepicking boogereater who went to NYU, or, god forbid, a state school. Keep reading »
The smarter you are, the harder it is for you to get laid. Well, that’s what Dr. Alex Benzer, a Harvard man thinks. The Ivy League snob believes his fellow private college geniuses (yes, he even listed specific schools that qualify) suffer under the weight of their giant brains. So, in a piece for the Huffington Post, he gave his five reasons why smarties can’t get in anyone’s pants. Here are the Cliff’s Notes style version for us lazy students, plus five of our own theories…
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What happens when a bunch of hormone-ridden college co-eds party together week after week? Apparently nothing. Hot fantasies aside, the cold hard data is in. Kathleen Bogle, author of Hooking Up: Sex, Dating and Relationships on Campus, has filed her report. While the number of nuns may be dropping, the number of women who qualify is rising — 39% of women enter college as virgins, and 31% leave with a degree and their “purity” too. For male students, their annual number has dropped from 2.1 partners in 2001 to 1.6 in 2006 (but weâ€™re sure theyâ€™re really missing the best .5 of a lady). Itâ€™s really a sad state of affairs, especially at the Ivy Leagues. While they were able to slip into Harvard, nearly half the undergrads claim they donâ€™t have carnal knowledge. Arenâ€™t the smarty-pants the ones we want to procreate? The good news is, thanks to DIY media (from â€˜zines to the internet), students are documenting their sexual experiences in record numbers. So while the pickinâ€™s may be slim, they are juicy!
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After years of studying and not getting laid just so they could get into Yale, some Zeta Psi recruits have officially blown their chances of ever enjoying a woman’s touch. The freshmen frat wannabes posted a picture on Facebook of themselves in front of the Women’s Center on campus with a sign that read, “We Love Yale Sluts”. The misogynistic mayhem culminated with a chorus of, “Dick! Dick! Dick!” (We’d expect more from the Ivy League, but bare in mind this is G.W. Bush’s alma mater.) Needless to say, the women on campus have pledged to never put out for Zeta Psi and the administration is debating whether they will sue for the inflammatory sign. Looks like sluts aren’t just well loved, they also rule the school. [Yale Daily News]
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