While I totally know that the idea behind this iPhone app is kind of sexist—“Eww, gross, who wants to hear a woman poop?!”—I also want it. I may be 30-years-old, but I still get a lil’ shy when doing a numero dos in a public restroom—or in my own bathroom when the new BF is over. The creators of the Cover Up app—buy it for 99 cents—could have toned down the overtly feminine design (it looks like a makeup compact!), but let’s face it—have you ever met a dude who was poo shy? The app sounds various “embarrassing noise” maskers, like a blow-dryer, shower, and hand-dryer, so no one suspects you’re doing anything but a quick tinkle. The app does not, however, mask any unpleasant odors. [Trendhunter]

“What is ‘apps’?” is apparently what shoe designer Christian Louboutin recently asked a reporter. “I’m a very bad technician. Technology, zero.”

While Louboutin might not be so in the loop, his industry cohorts have been rushing to the Apple platform in desperate droves. In the past year, we’ve seen a lot of new iPhone applications from the fashion industry, whether they’re shopping aids from e-commerce sites, entertainment from designers, or style aids. With each new release, there’s a lot of hype that seems to forcefully sell “cool.” Take one of the latest, Gucci‘s “Little Black Book,” which provides the user with oh-so-trendy restaurant suggestions and even a Mark Ronson “beats builder” to make your own tunes. The Wall Street Journal is calling fashion apps the “new must-have accessory.” Really?

Despite the media’s excitement over new fashion apps (and yes, we’re guilty of reporting on this stuff too), we have to ask ourselves if there’s really a market for it? Perhaps once we get to a place where people really are making purchases from their iPhones ... but to have something on your phone just to “interact” with a brand? Is it the modern equivalent of posting pretty perfume ads ripped out of magazines on your wall? So, we want to know—do you download style applications? If so, what’s the draw for you? [Wall Street Journal]

Ladies: beware of gentlemen furiously checking their iPhones with suspiciously thorough knowledge about the early ‘90s punk scene. Pepsico’s energy drink company AMP UP is hawking a free app that feeds men lines based on a woman’s interests, like whether she’s a “treehugger” or a “goth.” The Before You Score app proclaims to help dudes demystify 24 “types” of our confounding species, including flattering ones like “cougar,” “rebound girl,” “princess,” “nerd” and “out of your league.”

Guys? If you need to consult your iPhone so you can talk to us and/or fake an interest in politics or the environment in order to be interesting, you’re out of our league already.

The whole street style photo trend may not be anything new—think The Sartorialist, Face Hunter and even our own Chic On The Street—but Street-Spotted.com now offers you a somewhat unusual way to get involved. Their new iPhone app, in addition to accessing your phone’s camera for snapping pics of sweet-ass dresses, lets you send said pics straight to Street-Spotted.com. From there, all user submissions (except probably the filthy ones that will inevitably roll in) are displayed in a special section on the site.

We like the interactivity of it all. And the excuse to semi-stalk the well-dressed and pretend it’s not weird. [iTunes]

Your iPhone just became cooler than you are.

Thanks to AnOther magazine, Gareth Pugh, and Incase, now not only your 3G phone but also your 13” MacBook can be swathed in designer products. Because obviously your Apple products need some fashion love, too. The laptop holder is made from thick PVC, with quilted satin inside. It retails for 76 pounds, which is basically $121; the iPhone case, however, is slightly more affordable at 53 pounds or about $84. Up to you whether your device has been good enough to deserve designer goods.

Head over to shop.anothermag.com this weekend, or if you’re one of the lucky few at Paris Fashion Week, then make sure to stop at Colette to pick up your iPhone’s first Pugh. [Fashionista]

The recession called, and it apparently took away your iPhone case along with your portfolio. Now you’ll have to settle for Shantytown-chic by housing your mobile in a recycled cardboard box. It even comes with some ghetto personalization from a classic Sharpie marker. Since you probably have a lot of questions about this complicated device, be sure to refer to Case-Mate.com’s thorough list of Q&As: “Q) Is it waterproof? A) No, so don’t put it in the dishwasher”; “Q) Is there a warranty? A) No, it is cardboard after all”; “Q) Will this case make me awesome? A) I think that goes without saying.”

Before you go all boo-hoo-ing about how the recession made you settle for such a sad outfit for your iPhone, remember this: There are far less fortunate people in the world ... those who have the iPod Touch. [$0.99, Case-Mate.com]

I’m confused. What does a sportswear line have to do with the stock market? Puma is advertising its new line of bodywear for women with an iPhone app that shows women putting on and taking off Puma-branded clothing ... as the DOW rises and falls? Here’s how it works. The Puma Index app—which will get you 20 percent off at Puma if you show it at the store—features three lovely models dressed in varying amounts of Puma gear. When the DOW rises, they put on more clothes; when the DOW falls ... and falls ... they strip down to reveal the Puma bodywear they have underneath. Oh, and they jump on trampolines. “We’ve seen a lot of branded applications and a lot of them play it too straight down the middle,” Antonio Bertone, Puma’s Chief Marketing Officer, told CNBC. “We thought that if we could do this right and have models take off clothes when the market was going down, this could really work.” So, in theory, app users want the market to crash, right? Because what would ultimately happen if it just kept going lower and lower? “They’ll be in their bra and underwear having a pillow fight.” Check out the video demonstrating how the app works, after the jump ... [CNBC]

How pissed would you be if the schmoopy text messages your boyfriend sent you every other hour were automated from an iPhone app called the Girlfriend Keeper? Alas, the Girlfriend Keeper is actually a real application and costs only 99 cents at the iTunes store. You should be suspicious if you’re getting charming/creepy texts like, “Your birthday is in 45 days, maybe I’ll get you something blue to match your eyes” or “Did you know we started dating 53 days ago?” (Uh, what guy actually talks like that?) 

After the jump, check out some pics of the Girlfriend Keeper app that will seriously depress you regarding the state of modern dating (and datebook-keeping).

“What’s great about the iPhone is if you want to know where your ex-girlfriend is at any moment, there’s an app for that!” Check her personal calendar, pester her with “automatic late night calls” every 15 minutes, and “if you need an attorney with a proven record for fighting restraining orders, there’s an app for that!”

It’s clever, but it’s hard to giggle about psychos with restraining orders. What do you think: funny iPhone spoof or stalker-y awkward humor?

Used to be that ladies would store flasks of hooch in their garters. Nowadays, we’re as easily intoxicated by the iPhone, so we have the Thiphone, a leg mount for your gadget. It comes in black, red, or pink, so you can color-coordinate to look extra geeky. Love it! [$29.95, Thiphone.com]

To all of you who have ever engaged in the BlackBerry versus iPhone debate, well, I hate to say it, but BlackBerry-toting owners are laughing today. It appears that the iPhone has a major flaw—it can be hacked via text messages. I know, I know, it’s terrifying. But try to remain calm. Take a deep breath and keep reading.

That whole “heart on your sleeve” stuff is so retro. From now on, a new digital-age-appropriate adage: “She wears her iPhone on her hand.” Perhaps this is what Karl Lagerfeld was angling for when these iPhone glove holders showed up in his Fall ‘09 runway show. The fingerless, leather gloves feature a ruched strap that allows the wearer to secure a phone to the outside of her hand. It would seem that Apple could be the source of inspiration for a whole new direction in fashion as designers look to incorporate its chic accessories into styling and garments. OK, fine. It’s not like the iTie is about to be the next couture hit, but we’d actually gladly take a chance on Karl’s glove. [Trendhunter.com]

What is it with creepy iPhone apps? I thought the vibrator iPhone app was pretty bad, but this, this really takes the cake. Using the microphone, accelerometer, and several other iPhone features, the new application Passion, which is now available in the iPhone App Store, apparently rates people on how they perform in the sack. “All you have to do is start the application, put your iPhone on the bed, in an arm band, or even in your pocket and have intercourse, it is as easy as that. Once you are finished, press the stop button and view your results.” Um, I think I’ll pass, thanks. When are people going to start developing iPhone apps we really want to use? After the jump, 15 iPhone apps I wish someone would create.

The economy might still be in the crapper, but that hasn’t stopped luxury retailers from trying to lure shoppers through less traditional means. Recently, Christie’s launched an app to let users browse million-dollar works of art for sale. And now the latest to join the mobile shopping world is Net-a-porter.com, the site full of drool-worthy designer items, some of which cost more than our yearly salaries. Called Net-App, it allows iPhone users to view new additions and make purchases. While that aspect of the application is pretty straightforward, there’s also a neat tool included called ClosetFlow, which allows you to zoom in on images, and flip your phone to see the item from different angles. But is this a good or a bad thing?

My hot friend/man slut, Eric, who gets more booty than a pirate, has made me swear to keep his big gay secret for months. But over the weekend, I got him to tell me everything he knows about the techie version of cruisin’. Or as he put it, “Fine, you can tell the breeders about Grindr.” Yay! Grindr is an iPhone application for those looking for one-night stands. It will show you photos of potential hookups and map out the exact location of men in your neighborhood just looking to get in your pants. Well, not our pants, perse, since it’s “The go-to place for gay, bi, and curious men to meet.” Sigh. On the upside: “Location-based Grindr is FREE, FAST, and FUN.” Sounds promising, no? If Grindr were to cross over to straight users, would you use it? [Grindr]

iPhone users with way bigger bank accounts than me, listen up: Christie’s (the fancy-pants NYC auction house) has a new iPhone app. Apparently, it “allows you to browse over 450 auctions in over 80 categories including all areas of fine and decorative arts, jewelry, photographs, collectibles, wine, and more.” Great news for auction-nuts, but one clarification—you can’t actually place a bid on anything from your phone. (Wouldn’t that be dangerous!? It would take drunk eBaying to a whole new level when a package arrives containing your new Paul Klee original, the painting you have zero recollection buying, even if your Chase account remembers!) But see something you like? Place a call and they’ll raise the paddle for you. [Christie’s via Men.style.com]

What is Apple’s stance on pornographic iPhone applications? The company has been fighting off some bad press lately after having to ban two super sexy applications that slipped through the cracks (no pun intended). The problems came from “hot or not” type apps, which allow users to upload suggestive pictures of women (or young girls, sigh). While one company’s rule states no nude photos are allowed, bikini and lingerie shots are okay. The user-generated content is monitored, but not reviewed in detail.

Having a little trouble staying a virgin until your wedding night? Do you also have an iPhone? Then download the Purity Ring iPhone app where you can take a pledge to be chaste until marriage and look at a digital picture of a purity ring, instead of wearing one. [Cause that would be, like, totally embarrassing.—Editor]

According to the Guardian, the iPhone app has pre-recorded pledges for both boys and girls and will only display the ring after the pledge is made. Available at the iTunes store, kiddies. But so you know, further investigation is needed to ascertain whether you can actually count on a digital purity ring when temptation strikes… [Guardian UK]

Want to know what you and your boyfriend’s kid would look? There’s an iPhone app for that. iMated melds together two photos, showing you how the fruits of your bedroom labor will turn out. Consider this yet another dating litmus test. If the results aren’t pretty, you might want to rethink the relationship—or adopt. [iMated]

I have to admit, before last night, I had never downloaded an app. I protested profusely against them for as long as I could, but now I find myself wanting to download more and more. (I went through the same routine with the iPhone, insisting that nothing could be more confusing and unnecessary than having a phone, iPod, and internet combined into one, but when I was given the device as a gift, I soon came to love, er, be obsessed with it.)