Tag Archives: intimate partner violence

8 Warning Signs A Partner Doesn’t Respect You

abusive relationship

Amelia recently sent me a link to a Tumblr that will absolutely gut you. It’s called When Women Refuse and it collects news article about women who became victims of violence after they tried to leave a male partner or rejected sexual advances. We know that violence is fundamentally about control and therefore the most dangerous time during an abusive relationship is when a person tries to leave. All too often, children and other bystanders are injured or killed, too. The statistics about abusive relationships show that they are frighteningly common. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, one in four women and one in seven men over age 18 will be the victims of severe physical violence during their lifetime. Statistics also show that half of both men and women will experience “psychological aggression” by a partner during their lifetime. Stereotypes about what an “abused woman” is supposed to look like don’t do us any good because victims are all around us. They are our neighbors, our cousins, our sisters, our coworkers, our friends. Abusive relationships thrive in part because over time, the pattern of the abuse becomes normal. The abuse starts with smaller areas of control and then escalates until it becomes reality, which the person on the inside may not even see. But even if we have not been in a textbook abusive relationship per se, I’m sure many of us have had moments with partner or a friend where he or she did something that felt wrong.

In the spirit of #YesAllWomen — which is drawing attention to the physical and sexual violence all women experience —  I want to share some warning signs that a partner or other person does not respect you, your boundaries, or your personal space. These are all anonymous, real world examples from me, my friends and co-workers. Keep reading »

Maren Sanchez, 16, Stabbed To Death In Connecticut After Allegedly Turning Down Prom Invite

prom 042514

A 16-year-old girl named Maren Sanchez was stabbed to death by a male classmate in a Milford, Connecticut, high school today, allegedly after she turned down an invitation to the junior prom tonight.

Sanchez was a junior and Honor Society student at Jonathan Law High School. Students told the Connecticut Post that she was asked to the dance by an ex-boyfriend and when she turned him down, he slashed her across the throat.  The attack happened around 7:15 a.m., during first period, in a first-floor hallway. A teacher intervened and the attacker was restrained, but Sanchez was pronounced dead a half hour later at a local hospital. The school’s prom has since been rescheduled. Keep reading »

Tech CEO Will Serve No Jail Time For Hitting Girlfriend 117 Times

todays lady news
  • Tech CEO Gurbaksh Chahal faces no jail time after pleading guilty to domestic violence and battery for beating his girlfriend. Chahal was filmed on a home security video hitting and kicking his girlfriend 117 times over the course of 30 minutes, during which he said reportedly said four times that he would kill her. [Huffington Post]
  • Columbia University has been hit with a federal complaint by 23 students for mishandling allegations of sexual assault and retaliating against those who pushed the school to respond. [Newsweek]
  • Ladies Home Journal magazine — which unwittingly played a powerful role in the second wave feminist movement — is shuttering after 131 years in print. [AdAge] Keep reading »

Columbus Short (AKA Harrison On “Scandal”) Accused By Wife Of Threatening Murder/Suicide

columbus short

Columbus Short, what are you doing?

The wife of the “Scandal” star — who plays Olivia Pope’s right-hand man Harrison — filed for divorce on Tuesday and accused him of threatening a murder/suicide. Keep reading »

Supreme Court Clarifies Federal Law On Domestic Violence Convictions & Gun Ownership

todays lady news
  • Today, the Supreme Court ruled on the federal law that criminalizes the ownership of guns by anyone convicted of domestic violence. The Court clarified that the term”domestic violence” should be broadly interpreted to include more than just physical force. (Not surprisingly, Justice Scalia just doesn’t get why.) As Vice President Joe Biden has noted, gun violence and intimate partner violence are connected and addressing one problem means addressing another. [New York Times, Think Progress]
  • Take a look at this little girl Relisha Rudd, age eight, who has gone missing in the Washington, D.C./Richmond, Virginia area. [Clutch Magazine]
  • Here’s how raising the minimum wage would help women. [The Hill] Keep reading »

Reeva Steenkamp’s Texts To Oscar Pistorius Weeks Before He Killed Her Are Totally Disturbing: “I’m Scared Of You Sometimes”

oscar pistorius

Today the prosecution rested its case in the trial of South African Paralympian athlete Oscar Pistorius for the murder of his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, 29, on Valentine’s Day 2013.

Steenkamp, a model, was found shot several times through the locked bathroom door in Pistorius’ home; he claimed that he accidentally shot her, thinking she was a burglar. Police had previously responded to “allegations of a domestic nature” at Pistorius’ home and on the night of her death, neighbors said they had heard gunshots and screams from both a man and a woman prior to the shooting. Pistorius, who is 27, has entered a plea of not guilty.

Text messages from WhatsApp between the couple were submitted as evidence and despite plenty of messages of a loving nature, they show that three weeks before her murder she was telling him “I’m scared of you sometimes” while detailing controlling and mean behavior.  Keep reading »

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