Tag Archives: intimate partner violence

15-Year-Old Girl Plays Dead After Abusive Ex-Uncle Murders Her Whole Family

spring texas murder

Here’s a story that has me heavy in the heart:

Last night in Spring, Texas, a man looking for his ex-wife — whom he had beaten in the past — tied up and murdered the ex-wife’s sister, brother-in-law, and four of their children “execution-style” after they would not reveal his ex-wife’s location.

Ron Lee Haskell forced himself into his sister-in-law’s house near Houston while looking for his ex-wife Melanie Haskell (who was not there). He reportedly tied up everyone in the family and asked them to reveal his ex-wife’s location. When they couldn’t or wouldn’t answer, he shot six of them to death and wounded another, a 15-year-old girl named Cassidy Stay.

Cassidy told police she played dead until her ex-uncle left, at which point she called 911 and reported that Haskell was on his way to murder her grandparents. That phone call by Cassidy — who is currently in critical condition — appears to have saved her grandparents’ lives. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: 5 Red Flags That Told Me To Leave

On Abused Women
Facts about why abused women stay with their abusers. Read More »
Spot A Narcissist
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Four ways to spot a narcissist before he becomes your boyfriend. Read More »
No Respect Warning Signs
abusive relationship
Eight warning signs a partner does not respect you. Read More »

He seemed sweet at first. In fact, he had many sweet moments. But then there was the other stuff …

Abusive behavior isn’t as simple as we, as a society, want it to be. We often think that the kinds of signs that tell you a man could be abusive are very obvious. We imagine monsters, overtly misogynist thugs. We think of extreme physical violence as being the key – or the only – signifier. But often the violence doesn’t start until a relationship is already established – sometimes not until after a woman has moved in with her boyfriend, marries him, or becomes pregnant. In fact, the leading cause of death in pregnant women is domestic homicide, which is to say they are killed by their intimate partners. If we limit our understanding of abusive behavior to physical violence, we risk ignoring other red flags we should be heeding. Keep reading »

Artwork Depicting Nigella Lawson Being Strangled Is Posted On Her Ex-Husband’s Website

nigella lawson strangling art

The image of Nigella Lawson with her then-husband’s hands around her throat is seared into my memory. If you remember, back in 2013, Lawson and businessman/art gallery owner Charles Saatchi were seated in a London restaurant, arguing, when he placed his hands around her neck as if to choke her. A photographer happened to catch the incident, which went on for close to 30 minutes, as Lawson cried. The fact that it was caught on camera was a rare and disturbing reminder of the ubiquity of domestic violence, even among the wealthy and powerful.

So what are we to think then, exactly, when several artists have created artwork depicting Nigella Lawson being strangled and posted it on Saatchi’s web site? Keep reading »

This Is How A Small Town In Arkansas Failed A Domestic Violence Victim

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  • My friend Melissa Jeltsen has a piece on The Huffington Post about how the local criminal justice system in Arkansas failed Laura Aceves, a 21-year-old woman who was murdered by her abusive ex-boyfriend. When she was killed, her ex had been out on bail for two prior attacks on Aceves, including aggravated assault; he had also repeatedly violated the no-contact order. The local sheriff is utterly unconcerned with the problem of domestic violence, telling Huffington Post that there should be more focus on “what’s wrong with the women.” Yes, really. [Huffington Post] Keep reading »

PurrVerse: I Don’t Need Male Protection, Thanks

PurrVerse: I Don't Need Male Protection, Thanks

Women are given mixed messages on a regular basis. We’re told that we’re shattering glass ceilings and are independent ladies, while at the same time we’re told we’re a mess barely keeping ourselves together. Just today I got a Facebook advert demanding my attention so I can discover the newest fad diet that doesn’t really work. I’m told I should love my body and loathe it on a regular basis. I’ve come to expect that kind of thing.

Recently The Washington Post cited a study by the Bureau of Justice purportedly telling women that we should stop taking so many lovers and instead marry our “baby daddy.” That choice of words speaks rather clearly about the fundamental racism and classism indicated within the article and the logic being displayed. We are not talking about wealthy white women here, are we? Keep reading »

8 Warning Signs A Partner Doesn’t Respect You

abusive relationship

Amelia recently sent me a link to a Tumblr that will absolutely gut you. It’s called When Women Refuse and it collects news article about women who became victims of violence after they tried to leave a male partner or rejected sexual advances. We know that violence is fundamentally about control and therefore the most dangerous time during an abusive relationship is when a person tries to leave. All too often, children and other bystanders are injured or killed, too. The statistics about abusive relationships show that they are frighteningly common. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, one in four women and one in seven men over age 18 will be the victims of severe physical violence during their lifetime. Statistics also show that half of both men and women will experience “psychological aggression” by a partner during their lifetime. Stereotypes about what an “abused woman” is supposed to look like don’t do us any good because victims are all around us. They are our neighbors, our cousins, our sisters, our coworkers, our friends. Abusive relationships thrive in part because over time, the pattern of the abuse becomes normal. The abuse starts with smaller areas of control and then escalates until it becomes reality, which the person on the inside may not even see. But even if we have not been in a textbook abusive relationship per se, I’m sure many of us have had moments with partner or a friend where he or she did something that felt wrong.

In the spirit of #YesAllWomen — which is drawing attention to the physical and sexual violence all women experience —  I want to share some warning signs that a partner or other person does not respect you, your boundaries, or your personal space. These are all anonymous, real world examples from me, my friends and co-workers. Keep reading »

Maren Sanchez, 16, Stabbed To Death In Connecticut After Allegedly Turning Down Prom Invite

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A 16-year-old girl named Maren Sanchez was stabbed to death by a male classmate in a Milford, Connecticut, high school today, allegedly after she turned down an invitation to the junior prom tonight.

Sanchez was a junior and Honor Society student at Jonathan Law High School. Students told the Connecticut Post that she was asked to the dance by an ex-boyfriend and when she turned him down, he slashed her across the throat.  The attack happened around 7:15 a.m., during first period, in a first-floor hallway. A teacher intervened and the attacker was restrained, but Sanchez was pronounced dead a half hour later at a local hospital. The school’s prom has since been rescheduled. Keep reading »

Tech CEO Will Serve No Jail Time For Hitting Girlfriend 117 Times

todays lady news
  • Tech CEO Gurbaksh Chahal faces no jail time after pleading guilty to domestic violence and battery for beating his girlfriend. Chahal was filmed on a home security video hitting and kicking his girlfriend 117 times over the course of 30 minutes, during which he said reportedly said four times that he would kill her. [Huffington Post]
  • Columbia University has been hit with a federal complaint by 23 students for mishandling allegations of sexual assault and retaliating against those who pushed the school to respond. [Newsweek]
  • Ladies Home Journal magazine — which unwittingly played a powerful role in the second wave feminist movement — is shuttering after 131 years in print. [AdAge] Keep reading »

Columbus Short (AKA Harrison On “Scandal”) Accused By Wife Of Threatening Murder/Suicide

columbus short

Columbus Short, what are you doing?

The wife of the “Scandal” star — who plays Olivia Pope’s right-hand man Harrison — filed for divorce on Tuesday and accused him of threatening a murder/suicide. Keep reading »

Supreme Court Clarifies Federal Law On Domestic Violence Convictions & Gun Ownership

todays lady news
  • Today, the Supreme Court ruled on the federal law that criminalizes the ownership of guns by anyone convicted of domestic violence. The Court clarified that the term”domestic violence” should be broadly interpreted to include more than just physical force. (Not surprisingly, Justice Scalia just doesn’t get why.) As Vice President Joe Biden has noted, gun violence and intimate partner violence are connected and addressing one problem means addressing another. [New York Times, Think Progress]
  • Take a look at this little girl Relisha Rudd, age eight, who has gone missing in the Washington, D.C./Richmond, Virginia area. [Clutch Magazine]
  • Here’s how raising the minimum wage would help women. [The Hill] Keep reading »
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