If you were to ask me about my favorite season, fashion-wise, I would always say fall. I would tell you how much I love the deep colors, the sumptuous layers, and the rich textures of wool, leather, and tweed. I love getting dressed up in glamorous coats and take-no-prisoners knee-high boots. I love seeing the new trends come down the runways. There is one thing I love about fall clothes, though, that I might not tell you: I love that they cover me up. Keep reading »
Ugh. The very last thing we (i.e. women) need is a “study” claiming to observe women’s snarky reactions to another woman dressed sexily. The lead author of the study begins with a quote that is concerning in and of itself: “I was convinced, having lived a life as a woman, that we’re not as pleasant as some people make us out to be.” Huh? I’ve never heard of anyone making women, as an entire gender, out to be pleasant. Tracy Vaillancourt, who is also the professor of psychology at University of Ottawa, invited 86 women to participate in a conflict resolution study, but she had a different agenda when she documented how the women reacted to a young female student entering the room in a certain outfit. Vaillancourt did not document the ages of the 86 women who partook in the study or, well, anything about them, only their responses to the student, who wore either a T-shirt and khakis or a low-cut top and mini skirt. Vaillancourt stated that “ninety-seven percent” of the women responded inappropriately to the student. To use the same scientific term that Vaillancourt herself uses, the reactions were bitchy. Keep reading »
The other day, my new dude, Juan, and I were talking about breakups. We both went through bad ones in the past six months or so and he has a female friend who’s in the drinking-and-crying stage of a breakup now. (‘Tis the season, I guess?) After they hung out, Juan told me he could still recall the sting she’s feeling right now.
“I remember how that is: feeling like no one is ever going to love you in the same way again,” he said. “You feel at that time like it couldn’t possibly happen ever again … even though you know logically that it will.”
When he said that, something clicked in me. That’s it. That’s the anxiety that I have been feeling these past three months after the end of a love affair. I have a complete willingness to get back on the saddle but have been feeling like no one is ever going to love me “in the same way again.” The feeling — for whatever reason — that I had only one chance at this.
Tila Tequila gets, like, 45 shots at love. Why did I convince myself that I don’t get more than one? Keep reading »
Happy Ash Wednesday! I’m not religious; is that the proper sentiment? Anyway, today begins the 40 days and 40 nights of Lent, a period where Christians — particularly Catholics, Lutherans, Methodists, and Presbyterians — sacrifice for Jesus, often by giving up some sort of vice. Like I said, I am not religious and won’t be getting smudged at my local church today, but I will be giving something up for Lent because, well, why not? Keep reading »
The other day, a guy I have been dating for the last month or so told me — via IM — “you’re a girl with great skin, and I’m a guy with pimples.” He dreamt up this metaphor as a way of explaining some emotional turmoil he had been feeling that I, apparently, had inadvertently set in motion. For so long, he had felt so “together,” but since meeting me, he “didn’t like the person he saw in the mirror.” And, just in case I didn’t get the original metaphor, “pimples = issues.”
Sigh. While I don’t think I’m being bulls**tted, I do think this is bulls**t. Keep reading »
I used to work retail and “fitting room” was my favorite shift. While my other coworkers dreaded it, I thought it was friggin’ hilarious. Let me tell you, what people say when they’re in their underpants trying to squeeze into something is comedy gold! As a grownup fat kid, I’ve always struggled with my body issues, from my back titties to my general spherical nature. Nowhere was I ever able to laugh at myself more than in that dressing room, where I’d hear hot women of all shapes and sizes completely rip on themselves … instead of blaming, oh, the cut or the designer. It was ridiculous! And the best part was, the woman who picked the most ill-fitting clothing always bought the most. Self-acceptance is a cosmic joke. So, let’s laugh together with these completely true, yet hilarious, things women are insecure about when it comes to their bodies. Keep reading »
Does she always appear cool and confident to you? Or, conversely, do you sometimes feel like she has more than her share of insecurities?
Most women, no matter how they present themselves to the outside world, have a few nagging insecurities — especially when it comes to dating. Indeed, the dating world can be rough, and while men also have their share of insecurities, they tend to stress about very different things. Read more … Keep reading »
My boyfriend’s friends hate me! I went out of my way to be nice to them, enjoy the things they enjoy, and participate in their weekend activities, but they still hate me.They don’t want me around, they say some pretty nasty things behind my back (and to my face), and they make it very clear that they don’t want me dating my guy (we’ve been dating for one year). I’m perfectly fine not going to the bar or going to play pool with them; I have my own friends, but even with me not around this is taking a toll on my boyfriend’s relationship with them. Not only that, but it’s taking a toll on our relationship as well. I don’t care if they like me, but my boyfriend cares if they like him. What would be best in a situation like this? Ignore it and hope it will go away, or try to talk it out? I should add that this isn’t the most mature or rational group of people. — Under Friendly Fire
I am not sexy.
That could be the takeaway if you’d been a fly on the pole — er, the wall — at my first pole dancing class this weekend. There are a great many talents I have in this world. But strutting sexy and swirling around a pole are not some of those gifts. Keep reading »
Many of us guys have big, easily damaged egos, and even those of us with thick skin can be taken down by a casual word from a girlfriend, mother, boss, etc. Here are a few common ways a guy’s ego might get bruised a bit–remember to use this list only for good, never for evil. Avoid these actions; don’t try them out. Unless, you know, the guy really deserves it. Keep reading »
