This is a very good start. I have a few more better names for things that I’d like to add. Coffee = Awake Juice. iPhone = Distraction Box. Chairs = Butt Buckets. Instagram = Photo Treasury. Hummus = Snack Sauce. I could really keep going with this all day but I have other things to do. I have to get back to browsing my Information Trap (Computer). [Pleated Jeans] [Art by Pleated Jeans]
During a recent interview with The Guardian, singer Marilyn Manson expressed his interest in “passing [his] demented genius on to some small thing who can set fire and breath profanity.” And doesn’t the world need another expletive spouting fire starter? Yes, it does. For those of you who weren’t following, Marilyn would like to procreate. He is currently dating photographer Lindsay Usich. But in case she doesn’t want to carry his spawn, we thought we’d provide backup. Marilyn says he goes for women who are “independent and creative,” but not too creative because he’s inclined to feel competitive and jealous. He also insists he’s not some sort of sexual deviant as we once thought. “I think I would laugh nervously in the face of a threesome. I’m shy. I’m the kind of person who turns the lights out.” We get it, Marliyn. You’re a prude. Taking all this into consideration, we came up with some ideas for who could provide the other half of the chromosomal equation for Marilyn’s small, demented, genius thing. Paging Paz de la Huerta. Are you available to make a thing? [Celebitchy]
Hollywood has gotten lazy, so these days, movie studios either remake movies, produce sequels to blockbusters, or adapt popular books into movies. Of the latter, many of these films don’t do justice to the original material, but a special, rare few actually improve upon the book and the story translates better to the screen. (There is a whole other category of books that were terrible and should not have been turned into movies, but that’s another subject and chart entirely.) So, should you see the movie or read the book? Here’s a short, fairly random list to refer to.
So many acts of cannibalism. So many of them involving bath salts. It can only mean one thing: The Zombie Apocalypse is up on us. My survival skills are pathetic, so I’ve mapped out all of the recent cases involving flesh-eating to determine where I should go to seek cover. Random acts of cannibalism seem to be moving from the south up the Eastern Seaboard with one isolated incident in Los Angeles (possibly). Save yourself! Go to Portland! Legend after the jump. Keep reading »
My friend Julieanne Smolinski and I came up with these important questions.
I love Sunday night television. “Game of Thrones” with a “Mad Men” chaser, nothing is more satisfying! But in the last few weeks, I’ve noticed something. Theon Greyjoy on “Game of Thrones” is basically the Pete Campbell of Westeros. Think about it. Both are so pathetic you might feel sorry for them, if they weren’t so loathsome. They both walk around with a chip on their shoulder and a gross sense of entitlement, and are nowhere near as awesome as their constant peacock-ing would have you believe. See what I mean? Henceforth, I’ll just call them both Peon Campjoy! [Ed. Note: I know Theon's sister is named Asha in the books, but for the TV show, which is really what we're comparing in this context, her name was changed to Yara.]
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The old saying goes, you’re either looking for a man, an apartment or a job. In NYC, it often tends to be two out of three. “The Dating Game: Finding The Perfect Apartment” breaks down the stats and points out the similarities between apartment hunting and dude hunting. Oh how similar they are. They both involve a lot of looking and a non-negotiable checklist. There’s a reason I rent. Keep reading »
There is a reason why I prefer to go to weddings solo — for fear that I will bring numbers one through five as my date. I enjoy bringing my self respect as my plus one and dancing until I no longer have any. [Buzzfeed]
Artwork by Christiann MacAuley. You can see more of her work on stickycomics.com. Follow her on Twitter at @stickycomics.
Sex can be dangerous, protect yourself from pulled muscles, sprains, bruises and “sex neck.” Oh, and from the more dangerous stuff like broken penises and STIs. [Sex The More You Know]