Tag Archives: infidelity

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Cheated On Me Without Protection”

About two months ago, I left my 39-year-old live-in boyfriend of three and half years. When I left, I was pissed and hurt that, for four months, I spent all my spare time helping him get ready to open his bar, and then, once it opened, he was out at all hours, drinking, hanging with customers and not letting me know when he’d be home or what his plans were. I am 31 and we both want to have kids soon (marriage isn’t an issue) and this behavior had been going on for three months when I left. I understood that the bar-ownership meant late nights, but I wasn’t OK with him coming home at 4 AM half-drunk every morning without so much as a text the night before. Anyway, the night I left, I told him why I was leaving and asked him to give me some time. I came back 5 days later having made the decision to work things out. But three weeks later, I found out he had sex with some bar chick on the floor of the bar office THE NIGHT I left. Now, I understand that I left and (in his mind, anyway) he had free reign; I can get over the fact that he f**ked some other girl. What I can’t get over is that he didn’t use a condom, didn’t tell me and then had sex with me after I came back. I have gotten the full battery of tests and I’m negative, but that’s not the point. My issue is that he deceived me in such way that it put my health at risk. We’re still together two months after the fact. But … am I crazy for not being out of my mind with anger that he screwed some random chick after I left? Am I crazier that my real issue is that he put my health at risk? How do you rebuild trust after something like this? — Illogical Scientist

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Dear Wendy: “I’m 22 And He’s 35. Can It Work?”

This weekend is an all “Shortcuts” weekend for Dear Wendy. For every question, I’ll give my advice in two sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss May-December romances, talking smack on Facebook, loving on a deadline, and undeniable cheating signs. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I Caught My Husband Perusing The Casual Encounters Ads On Craigslist”

The other day I got home and “caught” my husband perusing the casual encounters ads on Craigslist. He’s done this in the past and tells me he does it when he feels rejected by me sexually. We have sex three to four times a week. He told me he hasn’t contacted anybody. Since he’s not big on computer porn or videos (we do have couples porn and occasionally watch), I guess I just want to know if I should be worried. Truth be told, when we were going through a hard time a few years ago, I did catch him actually writing an email to someone on Craigslist. I want to believe him now that he’s not contacting anybody — his body language and everything seems to indicate so. Plus, his actions speak very loudly — he’s always home on time, etc. After talking about it, he said he needed friends for when I got pissed off (he’s not very sociable). Should I be worried or just let this go as curiosity/arousal/etc.? — Craigslist Caution

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At The Boys’ Club: Are You Cheating?

Over at Ask Men, one of their resident single gals is helping the guys “figure out” if they’re cheating since, duh, their girlfriends are probably assuming they are. She writes:

The first thought that comes to mind when someone mentions cheating is probably sex. But cheating can be much more complicated than that. When it comes to emotional cheating, or cybersex, insisting to your girlfriend or wife that you “didn’t even have sex” isn’t exactly going to polish your halo. The playing field has opened up, creating some serious gray areas. Is confiding in a woman other than your partner cheating? Or perhaps that lap dance you enjoyed last night?

To find out if you are indeed cheating, Read more Keep reading »

What’s Your Most Over-The-Top Breakup Moment?

Breakups are never pleasant, but sometimes lovers just exacerbate the pain and humiliation. Like Anthony Hinrichs, of Madison, Wisconsin. Anthony and his gal pal Tonia were caught having sex — in a park, in broad daylight — by a team of firefighters and Anthony’s girlfriend. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “Cheated On” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from Cheated On, who wrote in a couple weeks ago when she discovered her long-distance boyfriend had cheated on her during a big fight they were in. After talking it over with him, she was considering working through their issues but was nervous about whether they could re-build trust and actually get past the cheating. “He said that he would do anything I asked of him if it meant that we could keep our relationship going. My gut tells me that he might actually be honest, but [...] I told myself I would never forgive someone who cheated on me.” So did she forgive her boyfriend? Did she tell him what she needed from him to get the relationship back on track? Or did she decide to forgo reconciliation? Find out after the jump. Keep reading »

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