About a year ago, rapper Riskay had a recommendation for all the ladies who think their man is cheating. She suggested suspicious lovers should ask to “Smell Yo Dick.” While the song was an underground hit, a woman was just beaten for using that line on her cheating husband. Just a straight shot south on the Florida Turnpike will get you from Riskay’s home in Bartow to the real scene of the “smell yo dick” crime in Port St. Lucie. After the 37-year-old victim followed her man into the bathroom to get wind of the truth, he punched her in the face and kicked her to the ground. The dude has been missing ever since, but his battered wife of three years refuses to press charges. Penis sniffing and prosecution dodging, ah, the things we do for love! [TCPalm] Keep reading »
I’m working from home today, so naturally I’m enjoying the background noise known as “The View.” Elisabeth Hasselbeck just said that she thinks that fantasizing about another person while you’re having sex with your partner is kinda, sorta a form of cheating. Mind you, I think she once said that masturbating is cheating too. So what do you think? Is thinking about someone else while you’re doin’ it a form of infidelity? Keep reading »
I tried marriage and I don’t understand the attraction. I hated it. It’s such hard work. I had to organize the maids, the chef, assistants, chauffeurs, gardeners. All that staff. Exhausting. What really did it for me was when my husband told me he wanted children. Can you imagine? Ruining your figure for babies; those smelly things that leak at both ends?
At the beginning of a marriage everyone is on their best behavior. Everyone is pretending to be something their not. He’s pretending to be terribly fascinated in everything you say, he brushes his teeth, acts like a super stud in the bedroom, and living room, and kitchen… And we women pretend that he’s our “super hero,” we wear high heels and naughty little teddies, we shave our legs everyday. But six months and he’s turned deaf and dumb, your legs are hairy, neither one of you has brushed your teeth, you pick your nose and he picks his butt. He farts, you burp. The teddies have been replaced with sweats; he sits in front of the TV with the “game” on, mumbling, a beer in hand. You barely speak to each other; you’re too tired to have sex. Marriage. What is the advantage? Keep reading »
I’ve been thinking a lot about cheating lately, and what constitutes cheating for men and women. Personally, I think anything physical starting with kissing is cheating, though of course it increases in severity the more clothes come off. Emotional cheating is very real in my opinion too — I would be dismayed to find out that my ex, I don’t know, was having, say, a developing emotional affair, possibly, with his younger female coworker, confiding in her and sending her notes about missing her. No physical boundary may have been crossed, but giving your heart to someone, when it belongs to someone else, is just as bad to me. But what about men? Do they have the same guidelines? And how much would they forgive? Keep reading »
I’ve had a lot of practice at telling women that their boyfriends are cheating on them with me.
Sometimes it feels as if I’m a military representative knocking on the door of a newly widowed army wife. “Hello, my name is Lena. You don’t know me but I’m a friend of your husband’s. There’s something I have to tell you. You might want to sit down for this.” And then without me having to even say a word, she can already surmise that something is terribly wrong. The man she loves is dead, or at least, her relationship is. Keep reading »
I missed Peggy this week. Our favorite glass ceiling breaker took much of this week’s episode of Mad Men off and the episode, instead, focused on new assistant Jane, Don Draper’s new car (to replace the one he crashed when he was drunk driving with Bobbie Barrett), and Cooper’s new Mark Rothko painting. Needless to say, it was an odd episode. Read on to find out about Jane’s complete and total insubordination and Jimmy Barrett’s big reveal to Betty Draper… Keep reading »