As the song so painfully and beautifully goes, motherless children have a hard time. I am lucky I was not one of those children. And I’m not one of those adults. My mom is in excellent health and we have a close relationship. I’m grateful for that. But as mother’s day approaches, I can’t help but feel that life hasn’t been entirely fair to me where maternity is concerned. That’s because, at 37, I haven’t been lucky enough to give birth. I’m what you might call a childless mother. Keep reading »
I was never that woman who dreamt of having many children or starting my own “Brady Bunch.” Babies, little booties, and bottles were always an afterthought to enjoying a successful career, one peppered with travelling the world and enjoying a range of other adult activities a childless, flexible lifestyle could provide. However, after my husband Jason was diagnosed with leukemia and underwent a bone marrow transplant (which I wrote about here), it would be an understatement to say that my priorities and narrow definition of family underwent a fundamental revolution. One year post-cancer, I began to dwell on the thought of living and dying without a family of my own.
Cancer had forced mortality to become an issue that often occupied my thoughts during sleepless nights or long car rides, and in my worst nightmare, I became the modern antagonist of some sort of widowed cat lady fairy tale. I imagined myself an old hag with cracked skin in a big castle, hoarding treasure and cackling wildly all by myself, full of bitterness and regret over my own solitude. The adult lifestyle that once felt so plush suddenly transformed into a thorny horror story, and Jason and I decided to try IVF. Continue reading
With all of the modern technology available to help couples conceive, some people are going back to the dark ages to treat infertility. There is a piece in the Daily Mail about how a UK couple swears that a “white witch” helped them conceive their two children. Claire and Stephen Anderson were told they had a one in a billion chance of conceiving with her polycystic ovaries and his low sperm count. So what did they do? Fed up with the health care system, they visited Wendy Binks, aka Ladysnake … a witch. According to the Daily Mail:
[Several times a week,] the high priestess performed various chants, cleansing their energies and performing fertility spells before giving the couple a specially designed lunar sex schedule, and continuing to cast spells for them with her coven in their absence.
The royal wedding was a lot of fun. But today, I cringed for the newlyweds when I stumbled across the headline “Royal Couple May Not Be Able To Conceive.” This is taking things way too far. First of all, William and Kate are still on their honeymoon. Can we give them five minutes to enjoy married life together without pressuring them to make a royal baby? Keep reading »
I’ll tell you what I don’t want to win as a raffle prize: another woman’s egg to implant in my uterus. In what can only be described as a serious lapse in judgment, a fertility clinic in the U.K. decided to have a raffle with the grand prize being an opportunity to experience the miracle of life via IVF with a human egg of their choosing. I wonder what the runner-up gets. A test tube of sperm?
The reasoning behind this contest? To promote IVF. Translation: to keep up with the American infertility market, to get more broads to donate eggs, and to make more money off of rich, infertile couples. In addition to the free IVF procedure worth about $18,000, the lucky winner will be able to view childhood pictures of potential donors before choosing one based on the mother’s profession, ethnic background, hair color, qualifications, and upbringing. Natch, the treatment will take place in America to bypass stringent British fertility laws. Continue reading
I was lying there on the cold, hard examining table. A stranger came in and before I knew it, I was uncomfortably spreading my legs. He told me it wouldn’t hurt and proceeded to stick a strange contraption up into my body. I was there to find out “if all my parts were as they should be.” Continue reading