Tag Archives: in touch

Lindsay Lohan Made A Sex Spreadsheet — Just Wait ‘Til You See Who’s On It

Lindsay-Lohan-Made-A-Sex-Spreadsheet----Just-Wait-'Til-You-See-Who's-On-It

According to the latest issue of In Touch, one drunken eve at the Beverly Hills Hotel, Lindsay Lohan made a list of all 36 of her famous, sexual conquests to impress her friends. Yes, because making a list of all the famous people you’ve fucked is the best way to impress people. An anonymous source who claims to have watched Lilo pen the sex spreadsheet on January 30, 2013 said,”It was her personal conquest list. She was trying to impress her friends with the list and then tossed it aside.”  Keep reading »

Octomom’s Tribute To Angelina Jolie Is Uncomfortable, Delusional

“I admire her … She saves children’s lives. I get that we both have a lot of kids, but I don’t think I look anything like her,” said Nadya Suleman, better known as Octomom, of her idol Angelina Jolie.

Then Octomom proceeded to pose like her for In Touch. Why? It’s hard to say. But Octomom took the opportunity to talk about how much harder she has it than Ang.

“I do a lot! I’m a cook, a chauffeur and a nanny,” she told In Touch. She forgot porn star, drunk, and possible welfare defrauder. [DListed]

Octomom Abuse Charges
Octomom phoo
Some really bad charges have been brought against Octomom. Read More »
Angelina's Leg
A brief history of Angelina Jolie's leg on the red carpet. Read More »
Octomom Porn
sex
Everything you don't want to know about Octomom's porn. Read More »

6 New Hobbies For Tanning Mom Now That She Has (GASP!) Stopped Tanning

Getting Tanning Mom
We're starting to understand Tanning Mom. Read More »
Hot Dog Hooker
She offers a wiggle with your wiener. Watch »

Some very important news in the world of tan-ness: Patricia Krentcil, better known as Tanning Mom, has announced that she will STOP tanning. In an exclusive interview with In Touch, Tanning Mom said that she wants the chance to “rehabilitate her image by staying out of the sun (real and artificial) for an entire month.” While Tanning Mom acknowledges that “nothing is forever,” she knows that she is “sick of talking about tanning.” NOOO! I mean, I’m happy for her potentially pre-cancerous skin, but I want her to keep talking about tanning. I was just starting to understand her and now she’s gone. Sadz. I think she’ll need a hobby while she’s on her tanning hiatus. Something to keep her busy (and me occupied). Some ideas for Tanning Mom after the jump. Keep reading »

An Open Letter To In Touch Magazine About Their Dumb Shiloh/Kingston Crush Story

Don't Panic!
The hubbub over Shiloh's tomboy style is ridiculous. Read More »
Angelina On Shiloh
She lets Shiloh be "who she is." Read More »
Shiloh's A Tomboy
And there's nothing wrong with that, dammit! Read More »

Dear In Touch,

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt does not have a crush on Kingston Rossdale.  He is not her “first true love.” She is 5 years old. Shiloh is interested in taxidermy and being called “John” and engaging in sword play. She’s basically a little mini-bad ass. Kingston, when he’s not flipping off the paparazzi and getting his nails did, is probably down to look at dead animals and spar with her. It’s called friendship. Can’t a little girl play with a little boy without it being labeled “a crush”? Maybe Kingston has a crush on Shiloh and she’s all, “Nah, bro, not interested. Now engarde!” Consider that.

Sincerely,

Amelia

[via Jezebel]

In Touch Asks Which Celebrity Toddler “Wore It Better”

In Touch magazine

Tori Spelling’s daughter Stella accessorized with some Magic Marker stains, while Halle Berry’s daughter Nahla toted a stuffed animal for a fab fall look. Did they match their Pull-Ups, too? Like, OMG, who do you think their stylist is?!

In Touch, you know they’re only three-year-olds, right? [SparkAMovement.Tumblr.com]

Baby Talk With Sarah And Bristol Palin

If you happen to pass a newsstand today and venture by a stack of In Touch magazines, do not worry—no one stole the Palins’ film from a Sears Portrait Studio. No, Sarah and Bristol, along with babies Trig and Tripp, posed for the cutesy cover shot, in which Tripp sticks his fingers in little Trig’s ear. They also invited a reporter into their home for an exclusive interview. Alas, the story is mostly a puff piece where Bristol says groundbreaking things like, “We’re both moms at the same time. It has brought us closer together.” (Side note: If your mom had a baby a year before you and named him “Trig,” wouldn’t you probably have picked something not quite as close as “Tripp”?) Keep reading »

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