Ever have a bad day? Maybe someone cut you off on the way to work, your favorite show was canceled, the last cookie in the jar was covered in mold, or you broke a bone on vacation (sigh, that would be me). Whatever it is, it’s healthy to acknowledge what’s bothering you, but don’t linger there too long. Take a few minutes to sing the blues and move on, or you may find yourself hosting a sad, pathetic pity party for one. Keep reading »
This morning, just like every other morning, I got into work and meandered over to the company Keurig in desperate need of coffee to find that, yet again, the last person to use the coffee machine didn’t refill the water. How hard is it to put the container under the sink for five seconds? For months we’ve been plagued with this problem thanks to lazy caffeine drinkers, and I have been seriously contemplating the installation of nanny cams to find the culprit(s). Maybe then we’d determine who’s guilty of some of these other workplace crimes.
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Ahh, spring is in the air! The bees are buzzing, the birds are chirping, the pollen count is so high you can barely see through a haze of yellow dust. What’s not to love? But the best part of springtime, by far, is that it’s the best season to hook up. Why is that, you ask? Let us explain… Keep reading »
Guess what? I didn’t win the New York Lotto AGAIN. For some reason, my family is fascinated with the Lotto. Not Vegas style gambling, just your average convenience store lottery. Since my early childhood, I remember them purchasing tickets but never winning anything significant. As an adult, I find myself getting sucked in. I know the chances of winning are less than slim, but whenever I attempt to resist, someone says, “You’ve got to be in it to win it.”
If you have ever purchased a Mega Millions, Powerball, Sweet Millions, or state Lotto, you have experienced the following. Keep reading »
Last night on the way home from work, a bag containing the contents of my desk broke as I was getting off the subway. In that bag was a giant, rubber boob that Amelia had given me as a going away present. Just to be clear, I don’t normally travel with a rubber breast in my bag. This was a special occasion. Well, the tit fell out my bag, onto the platform, bounced once and then slowly rolled away. A nice man rushed to help me pick everything up. Unknowingly, he grabbed the rubber tit, looked at it, looked at me, and carefully set it back on the subway platform (nipple side down), with a look that said, I have just been an accidental perv.
“Oh, that’s a gift from my coworkers,” I said, as if that would smooth everything over.
He then proceeded to walk away from me as quickly as possible.
This is an example of an awkward boob situation that most women have NOT experienced. Lucky you! But here are a bunch of uncomfortable boob moments that I’m sure you’re all too familiar with… Keep reading »
Well, it’s April, and you know what that means: tax season is in full swing. Did you shudder just now? Pee a little bit? Plug your ears and start singing, “LALALALA” at the top of your lungs? We’ve been there, but what if this year (and every year from now on) were different? Someone once told Ami that money is a reflection of your soul, and that forever changed the way she approached her taxes. Mostly because she didn’t want her soul to look bad in front of the federal government, but still. What if we all approached our taxes with less fear and more gumption? What if we were proactive and responsible and motivated? Hey, it could happen. Here are some helpful tips that you can easily apply to tax season…and life. Do with them what you will. Keep reading »
So, you farted. You’re human. It happens. The question now is how you’re going to react to the gaseous gift you just bestowed on the world. Depending on a variety of factors such as sound, smell, and present company, there are many potential responses to a toot, ranging from shock and denial to unabashed pride. Here are a few common fart reactions we know all too well… Keep reading »
“Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey,” Neil deGrasse Tyson’s reboot of Carl Sagan’s 1980s’ television documentary series, “Cosmos: A Personal Voyage,” is, so far, one of the most beautiful and awe-inspiring shows I’ve ever watched. (Seriously, watching it I was more excited and moved than this little girl.) Jetting around in Tyson’s “Ship of the Imagination” — “free from the shackles of space and time” — “Cosmos” explores the origins of the universe and life itself, explained in a way that is both comprehensible and absolutely mind-blowing, alongside visuals that stun. As Tyson has said, “The universe is in us … Many people look up at the sky and they feel small. But I feel big. Because my atoms came from those stars.” Click on for just 15 of the most profound quotes from “Cosmos” first two episodes and then actually watch them in full on Hulu. You won’t regret it. Keep reading »
Attention sci-fi nerds, dystopian future enthusiasts and clone lovers! Have you watched the BBC’s “Orphan Black”? I just finished the 10-episode first season and am HOOKED. Thankfully, the show is back on April 19, giving you a full month to get addicted … but trust me, it won’t take that long. Here are nine reasons you should watch the cult clone thriller. Keep reading »
Some people live their whole lives never meeting their soul mate. But for those of us who love country music, that will never be the case, because on July 17, 1976, Luke Bryan and his cute tushie entered the world. The universe will never be the same.
For those of you who don’t know much about my future husband Luke, he’s famous for hits like “That’s My Kind Of Night,” “Crash My Party,” “All My Friends Say,” and the list goes on. Sure, his voice is one reason to love him, but there’s so much more to him than his catchy songs. Like his ass. And his dancing. And his wit. Anyway, I’ll let the GIFs do the talking. Keep reading »