Last night on the way home from work, a bag containing the contents of my desk broke as I was getting off the subway. In that bag was a giant, rubber boob that Amelia had given me as a going away present. Just to be clear, I don’t normally travel with a rubber breast in my bag. This was a special occasion. Well, the tit fell out my bag, onto the platform, bounced once and then slowly rolled away. A nice man rushed to help me pick everything up. Unknowingly, he grabbed the rubber tit, looked at it, looked at me, and carefully set it back on the subway platform (nipple side down), with a look that said, I have just been an accidental perv.
“Oh, that’s a gift from my coworkers,” I said, as if that would smooth everything over.
He then proceeded to walk away from me as quickly as possible.
This is an example of an awkward boob situation that most women have NOT experienced. Lucky you! But here are a bunch of uncomfortable boob moments that I’m sure you’re all too familiar with… Keep reading »
Well, it’s April, and you know what that means: tax season is in full swing. Did you shudder just now? Pee a little bit? Plug your ears and start singing, “LALALALA” at the top of your lungs? We’ve been there, but what if this year (and every year from now on) were different? Someone once told Ami that money is a reflection of your soul, and that forever changed the way she approached her taxes. Mostly because she didn’t want her soul to look bad in front of the federal government, but still. What if we all approached our taxes with less fear and more gumption? What if we were proactive and responsible and motivated? Hey, it could happen. Here are some helpful tips that you can easily apply to tax season…and life. Do with them what you will. Keep reading »
So, you farted. You’re human. It happens. The question now is how you’re going to react to the gaseous gift you just bestowed on the world. Depending on a variety of factors such as sound, smell, and present company, there are many potential responses to a toot, ranging from shock and denial to unabashed pride. Here are a few common fart reactions we know all too well… Keep reading »
“Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey,” Neil deGrasse Tyson’s reboot of Carl Sagan’s 1980s’ television documentary series, “Cosmos: A Personal Voyage,” is, so far, one of the most beautiful and awe-inspiring shows I’ve ever watched. (Seriously, watching it I was more excited and moved than this little girl.) Jetting around in Tyson’s “Ship of the Imagination” — “free from the shackles of space and time” — “Cosmos” explores the origins of the universe and life itself, explained in a way that is both comprehensible and absolutely mind-blowing, alongside visuals that stun. As Tyson has said, “The universe is in us … Many people look up at the sky and they feel small. But I feel big. Because my atoms came from those stars.” Click on for just 15 of the most profound quotes from “Cosmos” first two episodes and then actually watch them in full on Hulu. You won’t regret it. Keep reading »
Attention sci-fi nerds, dystopian future enthusiasts and clone lovers! Have you watched the BBC’s “Orphan Black”? I just finished the 10-episode first season and am HOOKED. Thankfully, the show is back on April 19, giving you a full month to get addicted … but trust me, it won’t take that long. Here are nine reasons you should watch the cult clone thriller. Keep reading »
Some people live their whole lives never meeting their soul mate. But for those of us who love country music, that will never be the case, because on July 17, 1976, Luke Bryan and his cute tushie entered the world. The universe will never be the same.
For those of you who don’t know much about my future husband Luke, he’s famous for hits like “That’s My Kind Of Night,” “Crash My Party,” “All My Friends Say,” and the list goes on. Sure, his voice is one reason to love him, but there’s so much more to him than his catchy songs. Like his ass. And his dancing. And his wit. Anyway, I’ll let the GIFs do the talking. Keep reading »
These days, people seem impressed when they hear that someone has three kids: “Oh, wow, three!” If you come from an actually big family, this is nothing. Three is how many kids were in the house when a couple of your older siblings went off to college. Five, eight, even 10 kids? That’s a big family. >We both come from big families — Winona the oldest, Jess the youngest — so we know what we’re talking about. It wasn’t exactly like “Keeping Up The The Kardashians” or “The Brady Bunch,” but sometimes … it kind of was. After the jump, 11 things that we know to be true about big families.
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This summer, I’ll have the pleasure of standing by my good girlfriend’s side as a trusty bridesmaid while she says “I do” to the man of her dreams. This isn’t my first time at the rodeo, though. I’ve been a bridesmaid several times before, responsible for holding the bride’s bouquet, helping to plan the bachelorette party, looking for lots of really lacy shit on Etsy, etc. I’m a pro. But along with your run-of-the-mill bridesmaid duties comes the waves of emotion that go hand-in-hand with the roller coaster of being a wedding wing woman.
If you’ve ever been a bridesmaid, this may seem familiar. If you haven’t, prepare yourself. Keep reading »
We might be a bit biased, but we think hyphenated last names are awesome. They’re more unique and egalitarian than a single last name, and trust us, they’re great conversation starters. The only problem? Some of the conversations they start are not particularly enjoyable. Yes, it is “a lot of letters.” Yes, our moms were feminists, WHAT OF IT?! And oh lord, don’t even get us started on trying to spell them out for people over the phone. Here are 14 signs your hyphenated last name — no matter how much you love it — is giving you a headache. Keep reading »
You don’t need to sell me on the idea that drag is deeply inspiring (see: my obsession with “RuPaul’s Drag Race”). It’s not just about the WOW effect of all the sequins on the catwalk, it’s about making gender performance, which falls outside of the traditional binary, palatable to a wider audience. Artist Saint Hoax attended his first drag show and was stuck by the sequins, yes, but also by how it takes the “exact effort to make a leader” that it does to make an iconic drag queen: a flamboyant name, a fierce persona, defining outfits, a personalized hairdo, a trademark feature and one hell of a PR team. In his piece, “War Drags You Out,” Saint Hoax went to work transforming the most controversial political leaders into iconic queens. In a statement on his website, Saint Hoax writes:
“A rush of images containing Hitler’s mustache, Bin laden’s headgear, Obama’s campaigns, Saddam’s narcism crossed through my mind. It got me thinking that behind every ‘great’ man, there’s a queen. Like drag queens, political/religious leaders are expected to entertain, perform and occasionally lip-sync a public speech. But unlike drag queens, the fame hungry leaders don’t know when to take their costumes off. ”
After the jump, meet Hitleria Hysteria,Queen Abby, Madame O’ Sane, Georgia Buchette, Vladdy Pushin’ Ossie B’ and Baricka O’Bisha making their debuts in GIF form. WERK! [Jezebel] Keep reading »