Me: Ooh, I liked that song. Thumbs up, Pandora.
Pandora: Great! Glad you liked it. Since you liked that song, I think you will LOVE this next song: it’s called “Sail” by AWOLNATION.
Me: Hmm … OK, sure. That song is kind of old and overplayed, but it’s catchy enough.
Model: Heeeeeeyyyy girl!
Me: Oh, umm, hi.
Model: Would you like to pet my beaver?
Me: Not really, no.
Model: Are you sure? It’s soft and furry…
Me: I like your cape.
Model: Thank you.
Me: It’s very Empire Strikes Back.
Model: What is that supposed to mean?
Me: Did you want to play that trust game?
Model: What? What trust game?
Me: You know, the one where you fall backwards and have to trust someone to catch you?
Me: Nice weather we’re having.
Model: Very nice.
Me: Also you’re not wearing a shirt.
Me: Why so sad?
Model: I’m wearing a denim vest.
Model: Also I ate some bad oysters.
Me: Did you want some help carrying your packages?
Model: No, I’m fine.
Me: Really, it’s no trouble at all.
Model: Hey, can you help me for a second?
Model: What does it look like I’m doing?
Me: Excuse me, I was–
Model: Ssshh! Don’t wake him!
Me: OK, I can whisper. Wait … who are you talking about?
Model: The spider monkey wrapped around my waist.
Model: I need you to be honest with me.
Model: What do you think of this outfit?
Me: Hey now, what’s the matter?
Model: Nothing. It’s nothing.
Me: Oh come on, you can tell me.
Me: So … rough night?
Model: Not really.
Me: Are you sure? Did you go camping? Were you chased out of the wilderness by a bear?
Me: Did you take swimming lessons when you were a kid?
Model: Sure did.
Me: Did you like them?
Me: Hey, are you wearing those stick-on bra cups?
Model (who just happens to be Holly Madison): Yep! Aren’t they cute?
Me: Well, I’m not sure if cute is the right word…
Me: Umm, excuse me?
Me: I’m sorry, it’s just that I couldn’t help but wonder what you’re doing…