illuminati

Of Course Scalia Died While On Vacay With An Illuminati Hunting Club

Or fraternal order of huntsmen, whatever. More »


The Truth Is Out: Katy Perry Has Been JonBenet Ramsey All Along

If these substantial pieces of evidence don’t convince you, there’s also the indisputable fact that Katy Perry enjoys using traditional images of rebirth in her work, including butterflies and phoenixes, which also can serve as subtle hints that she is the murdered child incarnate. More »


Rapper B.o.B. Insists The Earth Is Flat, Illuminati Helpless To Stop Him

Looks like the illuminati has no pull on Twitter somehow, despite controlling the world. More »


I Swear To God, Hoverboards Are Going To Kill Us All

Hoverboards were made by the Illuminati! Do your research! More »


Katy Perry’s Dad Accosted By Woman Who Thinks Monster Energy Drinks Are Satanic

“Your daughter is wicked!” she screams. More »


Father Of 8 Blames Child Porn Stash On The Illuminati

In 2013, police found over 20,000 images of child pornography on a computer belonging to Alan Greaves, a 45 year-old British father of eight. He is currently in jail, after having plead guilty to two offences of making indecent images. However, he is now, through his lawyer, claiming he is innocent.

You see–Greaves says… More »


I’m Really Sorry, But That Gawker Whole Foods/Katie Holmes Exposé Is Not As Exciting As It Seems

J.K. Trotter at Gawker’s Black Bag vertical did a very, very, very in-depth investigation of a claim from 2012 that Katie Holmes, living at the Chelsea Mercantile at the time, shortly after she left ex-spouse Tom Cruise, had a secret entrance to the Whole Foods that occupies the ground floor of the building. Paparazzi had… More »


I Can’t Stop Staring At This Picture Of Kanye West And Kim Kardashian

As I mentioned in Quickies, the Kardashians had a big ol’ Christmas party, complete with a photo booth that made everyone look like they were made out of wax. At first when I saw this pic of Kim and Kanye, I was like, “Well, they forgot one very important thing — blotting papers.” More »


Has Jay-Z Been Moonlighting As Nicki Minaj?

File this one under convincing cases for the existence of the Illuminati: Vice took Nicki Minaj’s video for her new single “Super Bass” and slowed it down, only to discover that it sounds pitch-perfectly like … Jay-Z. You have to hear it to believe it because it’s uncanny, down to the Hov’s recognizable style and… More »


Blue Ivy, Beyonce And Jay-Z’s Baby, Is Named After Lucifer’s Daughter (And Other Ridiculous Rumors)

So, it should come as no surprise to anyone that the minute Babyonce’s name was revealed, the internet was abuzz with conspiracy theories about its true meaning. After all, Jay-Z and Beyonce, the baby girl’s parents, are long rumored to be members of the Illuminati, a secret society believed to be the masterminds behind events… More »