Tag Archives: illness

Dear Wendy: “I Got Sick And My Friends Abandoned Me”

Wendy AtterberryDecember 21, 2010 //

I’m 25 and earlier this year I was diagnosed with a chronic illness that I’ve yet to really get a handle on. It’s been very emotional for me to say the least, and to top it off I feel like I’ve been somewhat abandoned by my friends. The thing is, I know they’re all lovely people — it just seems like they get uncomfortable/unsure of what to say when I talk about my illness, so they think it’s best not to mention it at all or something. I’ve expressed to a few of them that it’s helpful for me to just be able to get the feelings off my chest once in a while, yet no one really seems to be making much of an effort to hear about it. I hate to be a Negative Nancy and certainly don’t want to talk about my illness all the time … I just want to know that my friends care. Am I going about this the wrong way? Is this not the type of thing that friends talk to each other about these days? My mom and boyfriend seem to think I should stop trying to get support on this from friends, but I don’t want to lean on them alone. — Not-So-Positive Pollyanna

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I Have Lupus

Erin FennellAugust 25, 2010 //

The first time I noticed my fingers changing colors was my junior year of high school. It was January and I had just finished my last final for the semester. I was outside with a group of my friends waiting for my dad to pick me up when I looked down at my hands. They were pale white and they hurt, bad. They felt like they were burning, but burning like when you touch something that’s too cold. I tried to blow on them to warm them up because they felt like ice. Then they began to turn blue. As the pain continued, my dad told me with a straight face not to worry, that my fingers were just falling off. Then he had to calm me down after I convinced myself I had frost bite and was going to be fingerless. Keep reading »

Mind Of Man: Real Men Don’t Need To Be “Nurtured”

John DeVoreFebruary 17, 2010 //

When I’m ill, I drink whiskey. More specifically, a hot toddy, otherwise known as “Irish Nyquil.” My beloved local bartender from North Ireland taught me her old family recipe — just hot water, a couple jiggers of whiskey, and lemon wedges studded with cloves. One of those, spicy Kung Pao chicken, and bed. I behave like a dying animal when I’m sick. I like to suffer alone, in the dark. I hate to be fussed over. Can’t you see I’m in mortal combat with the sniffles?!

This frustrates my girlfriend because she sees it as unfair. Well, life is unfair, Toots. When I fall ill, she wants to rush to my apartment and dote on me. Nurture me back to health. And I refuse to let her. I can’t stand being pampered. It drives me crazy. I am a man. Like Batman. And if Batman can sew his own wounds shut in his crime-fighting bunker, I can blow my nose in bed without help from anyone. For the record: I blow my nose with toilet paper, not “Kleenex,” the way the cavemen did. I appreciate her attentions, of course. But it’s my fight. Keep reading »

Today’s Lady News: Men Are More Likely To Leave When A Partner Is Seriously Ill

Jessica WakemanOctober 14, 2009 //
  • A study in the medical journal Cancer found that a man is seven times more likely to leave his partner if she is seriously ill than if the tables are turned. This might be due to the conditioning of women to be caretakers of their loved ones. [Times of London]—Insert tasteless John Edwards joke here.
  • Nan Robertson, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist for The New York Times, passed away last night. Robertson wrote The Girls In The Balcony about the fight for workplace equality among women employed by the Times and won the Prize for an article about her bout with toxic shock syndrome. Although Robertson’s TSS was not caused by a tampon, her experience helped raise awareness about the connection between tampons and TSS. [New York Times]

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    How To Nurse A Sick Man Back To Health

    Jessica WakemanJuly 15, 2009 //

    My honey bunny threw out his back this weekend moving heavy boxes into our new apartment and literally couldn’t move unassisted for 48 hours. Despite my lack of qualifications for the job, I became the de facto meal-maker, bath-giver, walker-to-the-bathroom, and all around nursemaid.

    Luckily for us both, I passed the Not Nurse Ratched test with flying colors. He’s back on his feet, albeit in a shuffle-y, wobble-y kind of way.

    I’ve heard that saying that if a couple really wants test its compatibility, they should go on a week long vacation to a foreign country together. But actually, I think one partner nursing the other back to health is a better indication! Surprise, surprise, you don’t need a nurse’s uniform (though he’d probably like that) to take care of a sick dude. But you do need love, patience…and a bulls**t detector. Keep reading »

    Dating Don’ts: How Not To Deal With A Sick Boy

    Judy McGuireMarch 19, 2009 //

    Devil get behind me, it’s cold and flu season. Maybe it’s because I grew up with a mom who refused to categorize any of her five kids as officially “sick” unless fluids were exploding and the temperature hit well into the hundreds, but I am not the person you want taking care of you when you’re not feeling well. Conversely, when I’m under the weather, the first thing out of my boyfriend’s mouth is always an offer to rub my chest down with alcohol just like his Greek mama used to do when he was a kid. No, thanks!

    I’ve found there are two types of patients—the cranks and the crybabies. I’m more of a crank. I want glasses of cold water, complete silence for the duration, and whatever medications I’m taking within arm’s reach. Don’t talk to me if you don’t want to get yelled at. Keep reading »

    Sexercise: Sweat It Out

    SimchaFebruary 12, 2008 //

    We’re not sure if the British NHS (National Health Service) is just trying to lower their state health care costs or get their employees laid, but the agency is saying that having sex is a cure-all catch-all, lowering your risks for everything from heart disease, cancer, and osteoporosis to the common cold. Ha! Finally proof that being slutty is good for you. (DUH!) But to get the full benefits of sexercise, as we ladies know, it’s got to be a release for both of you. And doing it right will even save you money on products. According to the NHS, orgasms prevent wrinkles from deepening, burn 300 calories an hour, make your hair shiny, and your skin smooth. O, it’s magic all right! [BBC] Keep reading »