One of the big bombshells my ex dropped the day he decided he needed a break was, “I don’t know that we’re in love anymore.” I didn’t buy it. I was in love and I was certain he was too. He was confused, he needed space, and I was going to give it to him, despite the fact that for many, his words would have been the final nail in the coffin. So I was fascinated to read Laura Munson’s “Modern Love” column in Sunday’s New York Times about her refusal to fight with her husband when he declared he no longer loved her.

Maybe it’s because I haven’t seen another human being in five days, but I’m really enthusiastically excited about the movies coming out this week. They all share a certain theme, which happens to be my favorite: awkwardness! First, “Brüno” gets audiences all blushy by showing his waxed man body (and balls, apparently?). Then a nerd goes for the cheerleader (shocker) in “I Love You, Beth Cooper.” And finally, two men take bromance to the next level in “Humpday.” Bye! I’ll be at the movies with my new friends, butter and slushy.

How many people have you said “I love you” to? If someone asked me that question, I wouldn’t know how to respond. I have managed to block out some of the love I may have spread over the years, just as some people shrink the number of people they’ve slept with. We’re not callous people here at The Frisky, but some of us have said that phrase when it shouldn’t have been said. Here’s when “I love you” doesn’t necessarily count.

Saying “I love you” can be just as confusing as figuring out whether you’re in love or lust. Do you say it first? Do you wait for him to say it first? And when you’re ready, how exactly do you say it? See, I told you it’s confusing. Anyway, we’ve obviously got your back. Here are the moments when saying “I love you” to your significant other is inappropriate:

On Monday night’s “Gossip Girl” season finale, Chuck told Blair he loves her. While the gesture was nice, the words missed the mark. He didn’t say, “I love you.” He said, “I love you, too.”

Adding the “too” is fine every once in a while, but it’s definitely not cool the first time someone says it. The “too” takes the emphasis off how they feel about you, and it reinforces how you feel about them. Keep reading for other no-nos when you’re saying those three words.

It’s never easy — or emotionally healthy — to try to make a guy fall in love with you, but that’s not what this article is about. This is about the guy who already loves you, and how you can encourage him to finally say it already. I’ve expressed my feelings about women saying “I love you” first. In my opinion, it’s important for men take the lead in uttering those words, but the truth is that most of them could use our help. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to encourage a man to say “I love you” without making the mistake of saying it first yourself.

When it comes to boyfriends, I have never gone for the sentimental type. Maybe it’s because my dad is the sort of guy who likes to sit in the backyard and throw knives at trees.  Maybe it’s because I’m not so great at talking about feelings myself.  Whatever the reason is, I’ve always had boyfriends that appreciated my ability to chug beer and refer to my breasts as “fun bags.”  I prided myself on being above all of that romantic mush, but it turned out, I wasn’t. Because when a guy did show up and started telling me about his feelings right away, I was charmed.  What I should have been was suspicious.

You already know how I feel about a woman saying “ I love you” first, but whether you agree with my stance or just aren’t ready to blurt out the “L” word quite yet, there are plenty of ways to tell a guy how you feel without spelling it out explicitly. After the jump, fifteen ways to tell a guy you love him without saying it aloud.

Sometimes saying, “I love you,” isn’t enough. Just how much do you love your lover? Well, the blog Love You More Than Blank lets you tell your special person how you feel about them. Send them your answer, and they’ll plop it on a colorful heart and post it on the site.

What’s in second place behind your significant other? Fill in the blank after the jump! (When I tell someone I love them more than peanut butter, I’ll know it’s the real deal.)

If I have a daughter one day, among the many things I’ll teach her will be how to tie her shoes, to look both ways before crossing the street, to never end a sentence with a preposition, and to always let the man say “I love you” first. I’ll give her plenty of other relationship tips, too, like how it’s perfectly okay to ask a guy out, to make the first move, to even propose, but when it comes to the “L” word, the ball’s in the guy’s court. When this issue came up last week in my list of 30 things a woman shouldn’t do before 30, it caused a bit of commotion. “What is this, the Victorian era?” wrote one commenter, “if you truly love someone, tell them. Otherwise you’re just playing outdated coquettish games.” Another commenter put it more diplomatically: “I don’t think I’ve ever said ‘I love you’ first, but someone has to do it. It’s okay to take a few risks.” I appreciate both arguments and understand the sentiments behind them, but at the risk of having my feminist card revoked, I think it’s naïve for a woman to utter those three little words before a man does.

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send us a pic at tips@thefrisky.com.

OK ladies, check it out: We love you. We love watching your sleeping face glow on our 150-thread count pillowcases. We love that mischievous glint in your eyes that says both, “You know what I’m thinking” and “You have absolutely no idea what I’m thinking.” We love that momentary moment of punch-drunkenness when we catch a whiff of a new fragrance that makes you smell like flowers. (And we don’t even like flowers. Doesn’t anyone realize flowers are just the clown genitals of the vegetable kingdom?)
So there you have it—we love you. Can we move on now?
We didn’t think so.

The day that sees the biggest increase in text messages is not Christmas, Thanksgiving, or even New Year’s. No, given that today is February 12, you will no doubt guess that Valentine’s Day is the most popular holiday for text messages, according to data from AT&T. How romantic. Personally, I despise text message shorthand, but if you’re really lazy and need some suggestions for what to send your lovers and friends, keep reading…

Saying that last night’s episode of Gossip Girl was drama-filled is like declaring that shoes will get wet when it rains. Duh. Along with the Serena/Blair pregnancy scare and Nate and Chuck duking it out, there was the somewhat less climactic storyline in which Dan says, “I love you” to Serena. The first time he says it is when he wants to show support in case she’s carrying a little Dan. But he really means it and wants her to know that it isn’t solely because of this. He spends the rest of the episode trying to tell her again.

The interesting part of this story is not that they exchange those three words, but that they do it after they have sex! Maybe things have changed since we were in high school, but back then, couples “went out” for months and months, said “I love you,” and then did the deed. Of course the order may have changed once college and the real world arrived, but high school sex is supposed to be a little more innocent. Maybe wearing Chanel and being driven around in a Town Car really do make you grow up faster. [The CW]