• Egyptian lawmakers have called for a ban on importing the Artificial Virginity Hymen kit from China, a $30 kit that leaks a blood-like substance when inserted and broken, allowing women to fool men into thinking that they’re virgins. [Fox News]—Hmm, how about a ban on the degrading notion that a woman is only valuable if she hasn’t had sex before? Just a thought!
• President Obama included “same sex couples” in a speech last week when he declared Sept. 28 “Family Day,” but some gay activists say they’re not impressed and want him to be a stronger advocate for LGBT families. [L.A. Times]

Once would have been more than enough.

A Russian woman, known only as “Natalia K,” allegedly underwent six hymenoplasties to “restore her virginity” for her husband.

Guys sure love tearing into our hymens. It’s about time we do too. Because, like, it’s part of you…or at least it was until you had pre-marital sex, you tramp! Just kidding, but seriously, knowledge is power. And like Wonder Woman and She-Ra before us, we deserve Powerful Privates, right? After the jump, a crash course in what we like to call “hymenology.”

Ever wonder what it would be like if you were a virgin again? Have you wished you could recreate the night you gave up your goodies? He would gaze deeply into your eyes and tell you how much he loves you in front of a roaring fireplace over soft music and candlelight with rose petals strewn on the floor. But instead, you gave it up in the bathroom to the cute guy on the basketball team for a two minute quickie because you thought you were going to be with him forever but instead he was just using you and you’ve never talked to him again…no, I’m not bitter. Well now you can re-live that virgin’ fantasy of yours with the Artificial Virginity Hymen. Yes, that’s right ladies. You can be deflowered for a second (and third! and fourth!) time.

Phone sex is a fun way to keep in touch while a loved one is out of the country.  But usually when we complain about being raped by long distance charges, we’re only talking about the bill.  A family in Tunisia, however, is suing a man they claim took their daughter’s virginity over the phone.  While the man never even laid a finger on her, the 20-year-old was heard shrieking, um, erotically and supposedly broke her own hymen—according to her medical examination. Impressive! Even Janeane Garofalo, the star of The Truth About Cats And Dogs’ classic phone sex scene, would be wowed. [UPI]