I suffer from a condition that I refer to as “hanger.” When I go too long without eating, something happens to me, beyond my control, not unlike Bruce Banner when he turns into the The Hulk. (I had to Google the name of The Hulk’s alter ego, by the way. Don’t mistake me for a person who knows anything about comic books.) When I’m really hungry, I start to change.
First, I get a headache, but it’s a specific kind of headache that feels like giant hands are squeezing my forehead. Next comes the stomach growling. All normal signs of hunger, I suppose. But once the stomach growling runs its course, I go rogue, turning into a raging savagely bitchy beast capable of evil. I get laser focused on where food is coming from and how soon it’s going to be in my mouth. I don’t care what food it is. Anyone around me at that time should take cover, because should you stand between me and the meal I so desperately need to consume, you shall feel my wrath. (A big “I’m sorry” to anyone who has ever dated me, because you’ve seen the worst of this and I truly regret it.) Normally a calm and peaceful being, in a fit of hanger, I’m liable to slam doors, hurl insults or break down in tears over nothing. It’s like all of my impulse control shuts down. And if you suffer from this affliction yourself, I’m very sorry. Keep reading »