Is there anything cuter than a kid who thinks she’s dominating hide and seek, but is actually completely visible to everyone? The answer is no, as illustrated by this hilarious roundup of failed hide and seek photos. I couldn’t resist compiling a few of my favorites. Click through to see if you can spot these tiny masters of illusion…
We always have high hopes for the romantic and sexual potential of the holidays. Snow is falling, fires are burning (both literally and figuratively), and we’re ready to get it on! Sadly though, like so many other aspects of the holidays, the reality of our yuletide hookups often looks much, much different than our expectations, and not in a good way. Let’s break down the divergence of fantasy and reality in painfully graphic detail, shall we? Keep reading »
Pets! They’re weird. Weirdest of all, perhaps, is the unspoken dynamic between cats and dogs. Believed to despise one another, so much so that there is an animated movie about it (and a sequel!), it’s really much less of an outright hatred and more just an implied narrative of canine fear. Most cats don’t even do anything; dogs are just inherently terrified of them. Sittin’ at the top of the stairs, at the end of the hallway, on the kitchen counter … wherever cats may be, dogs refuse to pass them. The fear seems unfounded until the dogs are actually coaxed into moving — then you see that a cat’s strongest instinct, its most base pleasure of all, is to snag a dog’s tail in passing. Woof! I submit as proof this excellent compilation, entitled “You Shall Not Pass, Dog.” It is just over 3 glorious minutes of silly dogs with the fear of God in ‘em as they attempt, and fail, to venture past sitting cats. [via Time]
This weekend I achieved a lifelong dream of seeing a special holiday screening of “Home Alone” on the big screen at a local movie theater. I’m sure I saw it at the theater when it first came out, but I can’t remember (I was 5 at the time), so I jumped at the chance to get the full “Home Alone” movie theater experience as an adult. In fact, when Nick and I saw the poster up outside the theater a few weeks ago, we literally ran in to the box office and breathlessly begged the guy at the counter to dig us up two tickets to the surely sold-out show. He laughed and said we were the first ones to even ask about it. Needless to say, on Saturday we had the best seats in the house.
The movie was as great as it always is, but the movie theater setting came with an unexpected perk: I sat next to a very chatty old man who had apparently never seen “Home Alone” before. He narrated pretty much the entire movie as I struggled to stifle my laughter. Here are some of his quotes that were just too good not to share: Keep reading »
Sorry, Amazon: your robot drone delivery program just got one-upped, in terms of both efficiency and novelty. The future of delivery will not be dependent on technology, but rather winged animals — that is, if one British book retail giant has any say in it. Waterstones has trounced Amazon’s plans (which, really, now seem quaint in comparison) by announcing the introduction of their O.W.L.S., or Ornithological Waterstones Landing Service. A fleet of specially trained owls will be ordained with the task of delivering your Waterstones package within 30 minutes. Dispiritingly, this is only proposed as a future plan: as the bookseller’s appropriately named press manager, Jon Owls, reasons, “It takes ages to train owls to do anything, and we only just thought of it this morning.” [Refinery29]
During all the years I studied Italian, I never learned much of the important stuff I needed in Italy, like “Only with a condom on!” and “Get your hand out of my purse, you fucking pickpocket scum.” Too bad comedian Veronika Poli wasn’t around. Here are all of the hand gestures you need to know to tell someone to fuck off or shut up, or draw more attention your boobs. The only other thing you need to know is to bring your own condoms and just shake it in their face. [Laughing Squid]
Hey guys, meet your first black girlfriend! Her name is Akilah Hughes, and she’s a writer and comedienne. Lucky for you, this isn’t her first time at the interracial relationship rodeo — so she knows exactly what to say when it comes to the “unspoken anxiety” and those “cringe-worthy moments” that are pretty much an inevitable part of the “white guy falls for black girl, foot-in-mouth syndrome ensues” narrative. In fact, she’s so familiar with it that she’s gone right ahead and cleared some of the big questions up for you in one brief, hilarious video. So go ahead and get the fried chicken. She doesn’t care! [via Refinery29]