If you’ve yet to hear of the brothers Brant, you are very fortunate. You are also not a subscriber and/or reader of Vanity Fair, where they were profiled back in September. That story’s title says it all: “Little Lord Flauntleroys.” Peter, 18, and Harry, 15, are the
split-manifestation antichrist sons of publishing mogul Peter Brant Sr. and supermodel Stephanie Seymour (and yes, you may recognize Peter from that ill-advised beachside photo in which he is both groping and smooching his mother on the lips), and frankly they are beyond words. They’re kind of like the gay Hilton sisters except worse in that they’re both fucking terrible (Nicky is, after all, pretty inoffensive), but unlike the Hilton sisters they are a) “high society” and b) one of them Tweeted about assassinating the president. Seriously. Alas, the Brant brothers have reached their zeitgeist saturation point: a satirical Tumblr now exists in their name. Keep reading »
No one ever really asked what the bros had to say about the Republican “war on women.” Which was sad, really, because they stood to lose quite a lot of blowies if we all had to be barefoot and pregnant. They will be ignored no longer! Now Sarah Silverman is putting that whole having-dated-Jimmy-Kimmel thing to good use and is urging bros to be bro-choice. You should watch it, bro.
My new heroes in life, the Punchy Players, have birthed an episode of “Hollywood Hoarders” featuring Judy Garland and Liza Minnelli as interventionists and Ann Miller as the hoarder. Judy is concerned that Ann is holding onto a few too many “precious things” and wants to help her make a “clean sweep.” Her precious things including corn cob holders, expired powdered doughnuts, Howard Keel, Styrofoam burger boxes, the Ann Miller frog collection, Dixie cups, and 10 cases of Shasta. Final thoughts from Judy: “No matter how much you love somebody, how do you clean up the hoard?” I ask myself this question all the time, Judy. Metaphorically, of course. [WOW]
I think the statement “friends are the family we choose for ourselves” applies in this case. We wish this man, his dog and his doll a very Merry Christmas. Captions? [Izismile]
Last week, I had my friend Katelyn over to spend the day co-working at my house. Usually I work from home alone, which I don’t mind, but I was thrilled to have a coworker for the day, and immediately regaled her with some of the worst workplace jokes I had collected from the years I spent working in traditional offices. “Damn, is it Friday yet?” I groaned as I walked to the kitchen to get more coffee. ”Why are you talking like that?” she asked with genuine concern, and suddenly I realized Katelyn had never had a desk job. She had no idea about novelty coffee mugs and perfectly timed staff meeting zingers. It was quite possible she had never come down with a nasty case of the Mondays.
I spent the rest of the day schooling her on the basics of office humor, and decided that it would probably be prudent to compile all the worst office joke genres in one place. Whether you’re new to the subject or have been honing your “Give me coffee and nobody gets hurt” material for years, read on for a comprehensive field guide to 9-5 humor…
Keep reading »
Want to get busy with another human being but have no clue how to go about it?
You’re not alone.
For eons people have been trying to come up with crafty ways to convince other people to do the dirty deed with them.
Here are some of the stupidest sexytime enticements that actually seem to work now and again. You’re welcome. Read more…
Of course, here’s the inevitable response to the parody video “Gay Men Will Marry Your Girlfriends.” I’ll have you know, lesbians, that you don’t scare me. I’m pre-t-t-y sure my blowjob skills are better than yours. [Feministing]