Tag Archives: humor

5 Romantic Things To Do With Your Cat This Valentine’s Day

Cat Love
20 reasons it's better to share your bed with a cat than with a man. Read More »
Be My BF: Cat Hater
He wants to eradicate all cats to save the birds. Read More »

No boyfriend? No problem. All you really need to celebrate this tres romantic Hallmark holiday is a feline friend or two. Just ask this gentleman, who spends much of his free time serenading his cat with Seal’s classic love song “Kiss From A Rose.” No shame in that, guy! If all else fails, and your cat just isn’t satisfying your emotional needs, why not browse the Purrsonals to see if you can find a mate for life? Just make sure your cat approves first. There is such a thing as emotional cheating. And listen, things could be worse; you could be Henri. Here are five things I’ll be doing with my cats this Valentine’s Day — I urge you to follow my lead and take your meow machines out to a beautiful candlelit dinner. They sure deserve it for putting up with your shit. Keep reading »

Smell Like A Real Man With “ManHands” (That Means Like Baseball Glove Or Urinal Cake)

man hands soap

It used to be that a lady only had to be on the lookout for Axe Body Wash as a demarcation of doucheitude in a man’s shower. But if the next time you hop in your dude’s no-doubt-scum-covered tub and you catch a whiff of bacon, urinal cake, or Republicanism — or worse, all three — book it out of there with shampoo in your hair. Your dude washes himself with “ManHands,” soaps for the manly man. Keep reading »

6 Pop Culture Icons Nobody Admits They Were Attracted To

As a child of pop culture, it should come as no little surprise that most of my psyche was formed by various cartoon and film studios and is tragically underequipped to manage real life, even to this day, which is why you can only find me on the Internet, as I tend to shun the sun like some kind of eyeless deep-cave newt.

While you can easily rely on film to teach you how to deal with everyday situations like terrorism, dinosaurs and hangovers, the sad truth is that the formation of one’s sexual identity is probably something best not placed in the hands of Bruce Willis or National Lampoon. I mean, I think.

As it happens, my sexual awakening was a slow, shameful thing spurred by a handful of pop culture icons that, for one reason or another, stirred something vaguely confusing deep inside me, and will now be used to stir something vaguely off-putting in all of you. Read more…

Andy Milonakis And David Arquette Play With Beef For “Makeshift Gourmet”

Courteney And David Show
Are the exes creating a show about the relationship? Read More »
A Funny Rape Joke?
jamie kilstein
Jamie Kilstein tells one. Read More »
You probably won't die.

I like to think of myself as a very refined person with very refined tastes. Sure, I watch reruns of “Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami” on the treadmill, and you may find the errant Rihanna hit on my iPod. I also enjoy a Mike’s Hard Lemonade from time to time, and have a hard time cutting an apple. But besides all that stuff, I am an intellectual, a sophisticate, an epicurean, and a scholar. Yep. All of those. Which is exactly why I am so disgustingly ashamed by how much I enjoy the comedic stylings (if you could call it that) of Andy Milonakis, the former star of MTV’s “The Andy Milonakis Show,” who is instantly recognizable due in part to a growth-hormone condition that renders him forever 12. Aside from being one third of hip-hop group ¡Three Loco! alongside RiFF RaFF and Dirt Nasty, Milonakis is the host of a new web series, a cooking show called “Makeshift Gourmet.” The first installment chronicles Andy as he puts a high-end spin on Hamburger Helper using “elevated ingredients,” and better still, the weirdness of it all is punctuated by the appearance of a giggly, sunglasses-clad David Arquette, who eats raw Wagyu beef before participating in a “beef slap.” God love ya, Andy. And David, too. [Huffington Post]

Kama Stupid: New Sex Positions For 2013

The Kama Sutra is the world’s most famous guide to the art of love.  But it’s an ancient Hindu text that’s about over 2,000 years old.  It’s time someone updated it with the latest advances in bedroom fun that can be had.

Have you and your partner ever done it Gangnam Style?  Tried the honey badger?  How about the Zuckerberg plunge?

If not, time to school yourself! Read more…

We Can’t Wrap Our Minds Around The Brant Brothers, So Someone Else Is Doing It For Us

Suri's Burn Book Tumblr
What does the writer have to say about the TomKat divorce? Read More »
Paris Hilton's Song
Drunk Text is a hit! Watch »
Is Paris Racist?
Author Neil Struss claims Paris told him black guys are "gross." Read More »

If you’ve yet to hear of the brothers Brant, you are very fortunate. You are also not a subscriber and/or reader of Vanity Fair, where they were profiled back in September. That story’s title says it all: “Little Lord Flauntleroys.” Peter, 18, and Harry, 15, are the split-manifestation antichrist sons of publishing mogul Peter Brant Sr. and supermodel Stephanie Seymour (and yes, you may recognize Peter from that ill-advised beachside photo in which he is both groping and smooching his mother on the lips), and frankly they are beyond words. They’re kind of like the gay Hilton sisters except worse in that they’re both fucking terrible (Nicky is, after all, pretty inoffensive), but unlike the Hilton sisters they are a) “high society” and b) one of them Tweeted about assassinating the president. Seriously. Alas, the Brant brothers have reached their zeitgeist saturation point: a satirical Tumblr now exists in their name. Keep reading »

Comedian Jamie Kilstein Tells A Funny Rape Joke

"Nice Guy" Rapists
If you have sex without consent, you can't call yourself a "nice guy." Read More »
After Sexual Assault
woman sad in bed
Tips for reclaiming your sex life after being sexually assaulted. Read More »
I Was Date Raped
Amelia was date raped in college by a guy she liked. Read More »
today's lady news
jamie kilstein
On Rape Culture
  • Want to know how to tell a funny rape joke? Comedian Jamie Kilstein shows you how it’s done. [Feministing]
  • Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin is suing to restore women’s access to the RU-486 abortion pill. Currently women are required to visit a doctor THREE SEPARATE TIMES before being dispensed the abortion pill. All of our bosses would be so on board with us taking time off for three different doctors’ appointments, right? [Think Progress]
  • Mormon feminists  have people in an uproar after encouraging Mormon women to wear pants to church. [Jezebel]
  • Blogger Jessica Luther on tennis player Caroline Wozniacki’s racist mimicry of Serena Williams at a match this weekend. [scATX] Keep reading »

Sarah Silverman Goes After The Bro-Choice Vote

I Took Plan B
Our writer took the morning-after-pill to thwart unwanted pregnancy. Read More »
I Had An Abortion
A mother writes about choosing to have an abortion. Read More »
"Pro-Life" No More
How one woman lost faith in the pro-life movement. Read More »
sarah silverman
Come At Me, Bro

No one ever really asked what the bros had to say about the Republican “war on women.” Which was sad, really, because they stood to lose quite a lot of blowies if we all had to be barefoot and pregnant. They will be ignored no longer! Now Sarah Silverman is putting that whole having-dated-Jimmy-Kimmel thing to good use and is urging bros to be bro-choice. You should watch it, bro.

If Judy Garland Were A Hoarding Interventionist

John & Olivia's Xmas Song
John Travolta and Olivia Netwon John made a Christmas music video. Watch »
Real Dragwives
The Real Dragwives of Atlanta. Watch »
Too Many Precious Things
“It looks like Louis B. Mayer exploded in here!”

My new heroes in life, the Punchy Players, have birthed an episode of “Hollywood Hoarders” featuring Judy Garland and Liza Minnelli as interventionists and Ann Miller as the hoarder. Judy is concerned that Ann is holding onto a few too many “precious things” and wants to help her make a “clean sweep.” Her precious things including corn cob holders, expired powdered doughnuts, Howard Keel, Styrofoam burger boxes, the Ann Miller frog collection, Dixie cups, and 10 cases of Shasta. Final thoughts from Judy: “No matter how much you love somebody, how do you clean up the hoard?” I ask myself this question all the time, Judy. Metaphorically, of course. [WOW]

Caption This: A Very Multi-Species Christmas

I think the statement “friends are the family we choose for ourselves” applies in this case. We wish this man, his dog and his doll a very Merry Christmas. Captions? [Izismile]

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