Dear Any And All Spiders Currently Residing In My Home,
I recently saw one of you crawling along the hallway wall. It was fairly small, and I was feeling generous, so I decided to let it live. Later that afternoon, as I was checking my email and sipping a cup of boiling hot tea, this same spider decided it would be a good time to crawl up my thigh, causing me to spill scalding Earl Grey all over my lap and keyboard.
“THIS WAS NOT THE AGREEMENT!” I yelled at the spider as I knocked it off my leg and smashed it into the tea-stained carpet.
But then I realized that maybe I wasn’t being fair. After all, I had never actually given the spider a copy of the agreement. It’s time we all got on the same page, don’t you think? Here is the standard human/spider cohabitation contract I expect us to abide by: Keep reading »
Vladimir Putin is sort of like the small-boned Chuck Norris of world leaders — think an unassuming Renaissance man who will straight-up end you. (If you aren’t well-versed in the art of Putin, might I point you in the direction of his 8 most ridiculous publicity stunts?) The man has his own personal bear, for Christ’s sake, but he also knows how to have a good time. Putin is a born entertainer. You know what they say about us Russians and our sense of humor! (Nothing. Literally nothing.) Now, the Russian President can add one more aside to his name: a canine doppelgänger. This Staffordshire terrier-German shepherd mix made the news for his resemblance to the politician, and we have to admit the similarity in that close-set stare is almost uncanny. Fortunately, we don’t think Putin will have a problem with knowing he has a doggy double running around. We already know how much he loves pups. [Metro.co.uk]
This guy’s such a good roommate, you’d never even know he was there.
A group of students at Ohio State University were living in an off-campus home near the school for about a month before they discovered “some random guy” had been living in their basement the whole time, The Lantern reported. Read more at Huffington Post…
Wonderful Pistachios have really stepped up their ad game in what seems like an exorbitantly expensive way. I mean, they’ve landed Snoop Dogg, Homer and Bart Simpson, Psy at the height of his awful-moment-in-pop-culture fame, even the Prancercise lady … I had no idea there was so much money in pistachios. This latest video star also couldn’t have come cheap, but how they got Dennis Rodman is just not one of the questions I have about this clip. No, there are so many more, like why they thought it would be a good idea to feature a green-haired Rodman being obliterated via red button by a doppelgänger for his close pal Kim Jong Un. So many questions, and not one of them is whether or not I’d like to go buy Wonderful Pistachios right now.
Yesterday Jezebel got ahold of an email that had been sent out to 72 members of an Administrative Law class at a law school in Canada. The anonymous student who sent it has some choice words — 655 of them, to be exact — for his or her classmates regarding a very specific topic: their snacking habits. I could go on about this person’s hilarious disdain for crunching noises and how I actually kind of agree about the “don’t eat tuna sandwiches in enclosed spaces” thing, but really, you just need to read this letter for yourself… Keep reading »