No more diets or exercise! The Onion has come up with a way to combat unwanted body fat. You can just adjust your blubber into a more appealing shape. I love the idea of smushing my fat into a back hump and hiding it with a down coat. I think I’ll try that out tomorrow. Should be sexy. [The Onion] Keep reading »
Tag Archives: humor
Don’t Hide Your Fat, Thrust It!
No more diets or exercise! The Onion has come up with a way to combat unwanted body fat. You can just adjust your blubber into a more appealing shape. I love the idea of smushing my fat into a back hump and hiding it with a down coat. I think I’ll try that out tomorrow. Should be sexy. [The Onion] Keep reading »
6 Things Attracting You To Dudes
Did you know men are attracting you in ways of which you may not be aware? Say it ain’t so! “6 Ways You Can (Accidentally) Attract the Ladies” reveals it’s what you didn’t suspect that’s drawing you to the opposite sex. Thought you were looking for a hot guy? Wrong. You’re in the market for an effeminate, average-looking, symmetrical, sweaty guy who looks like your dad. I’m not even sure I want to know why. [Cracked] Keep reading »
Do You Know The Way To Get Laid?
I’m totally lost. I was looking for the corner of Bukkake Avenue and Dirty Sanchez Road. Can anyone help? [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »
Just Say No To These Novelty Condoms
I suppose that since these condoms are called “novelty” condoms, they’re not suitable for human use, yet they still frighten me. The mere thought of utilizing any of the rubber numbers from the Willy Attire collection causes me to shudder in horror. From the beer stein to the banana, the cow to the devil, the elephant to the zebra, these johnson raincoats are not something most women want anywhere near their hoo-has. One supposes it would be amusing to see a guy tromping around in nothing but the gas mask jimmy, but, for God’s sake, don’t try to do anything with a willy if it’s wearing one of these, ladies. [Willy Attire via Gorilla Mask] Keep reading »
How Far Will Funny Get A Guy?
Show me a person who doesn’t have at least a handful of characteristics she or he is looking for in a mate — or date — and I’ll show you the real-life leprechaun I keep as a mascot on my rooftop garden. Whether it’s brains, a great bod, or a timeshare in Boca Raton, we all have a list — some are even written down somewhere — of the things our significant other must possess. Topping the list for a lot of us is a great sense of humor, but exactly how important is having your funny bone tickled? AskMen.com recently compared “funny” against a host of other “most wanted” characteristics to see how a good sense of humor stacked up when women are doin’ the choosin’. Are those sitcoms that feature a beautiful wife with a pudgy but hilarious husband telling the truth? Find out after the jump. Keep reading »
A-Z Guide To Male Names
A website called DJMICK has posted an A-Z guide to female names in which they call Amelia “a bit old-fashioned,” Anneka (their spelling) “sporty in and out of the bedroom,” Catherine as one who “needs ironing,” and Wendy as a woman who “works on a building site, possibly a man.” What?! Well, we can play that game, too! After the jump, my A-Z guide to male names. Keep reading »
Have A Killer Valentine’s Day
I’m already a fan of the strange creature art made by LA-based artist Liz McGrath — and I love this weirdly special, customized Valentine’s Day gift that she’s selling in her online store. If you want to say “I love you” this Valentine’s Day in a totally unique way, McGrath’s four-inch, mini-butcher knife with your loved one’s name painted on it is sure to drive your message home to the heart. It comes in its own special knife box, it’s dusted with glitter, and it’s only $25. Remember: “The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.” — Blaise Pascal [Boing Boing] Keep reading »
I Love You, But…
I still remember the day I realized my first love wasn’t perfect. We’d been together for about 2- 1/2 months and decided to go camping for the weekend. I wasn’t much of an outdoorsy person and ended up wearing, like, Keds on our long hike up to the campsite (which really wasn’t a campsite, but more of a clearing in the woods with enough room to pitch a tent). Rather than slow his pace and enjoy the beautiful day with me, my boyfriend laughed at my footwear and sped off, keeping a good ½ mile ahead of me all afternoon. It was then that I realized I loved him, but he hiked too damn fast (and was really kind of a jerk).
Loveyoubut.com celebrates exactly this kind of realization in a relationship. Created by Alex Holder and Ross Neil, the site is a “picture book about the moment in a relationship when you realize you don’t love someone completely, because there is just one little thing that keeps bothering you.” While I’d argue it’s often that one little thing that makes you realize just how unconditionally you do love someone — seriously, if you can love your man despite his hairy back or the loud slurpy sound he makes when he drinks beer, that’s when you know it’s real — the site is totally worth checking out. Filled with funky, hand-drawn portraits and great quips like, “I love you, but you still read articles about Princess Diana,” and “I love you, but you say ‘pacific’ instead of ‘specific’,” loveyoubut.com reminds us that no one is perfect, and sometimes what we don’t like about someone says a lot more about us than it does about the other person.
What’s your “I love you, but” quote? [via Nothing But Bonfires] Keep reading »
Video: That’s What Michael Scott Said
Why am I in love with Michael Scott from “The Office“? I have no clue. Maybe it’s his irresistible smarminess. Maybe it’s his constant inappropriateness. Maybe it’s because of that time he tried to hold a rave in his hotel room while traveling on business. Whatever the reason, a fellow fan has seen fit to create a greatest hits reel of every time he’s delivered his “That’s what she said!” punchline. [Defamer] Keep reading »
Study: Self-Deprecating Humor Scores With Women
Why do we women do who we do? It’s the riddle men have been trying to solve since the beginning of time. But apparently, anthropologist Gil Greengross cracked the code to our crotches: self-deprecating humor. After two years of studying how humor affects sex, Mr. Greengross found that if a man knocks himself down, the ladies won’t shoot him down. A little bit of sweet talkin’ for sympathy is the best strategy because it shows your strong suits to be intelligence, creativity, and humility. And that’s the winning combo! Although, dudes be warned, you don’t want to head into pity lay territory. There’s a fine line between being the charmingly modest (well at least in movies) Hugh Grant, and the too-sad-to-screw Larry David. [Daily Mail] Keep reading »
