Unimpressed cat captured our hearts yesterday, and so we figured we’d take a look at all the things that fall under his scornful eyes. Click through the gallery above to see what unimpressed cat is thoroughly unimpressed with!
G.O.B. tampons: they’re feminine hygiene products by the people who know a woman’s body best — old Republican men! With flaps and wings and widgets and hooziwhatsits for all your confusing lady parts, a woman could not have invented it better herself. (No, seriously, she couldn’t have: she’s not allowed.)
“Saturday Night Live” skits can be hit or miss but it’s impossible for skits about periods to not be funny. I mean, hello? Tina Fey in the Annualle skit? I still crack up thinking about it to this day. [NBC]
When my brother texted me a picture of this sign that he found hung up on the wall of his rural high school, I knew I had found my true calling. I mean, I’ve come across many miniature horse care and feeding jobs in my day, but none with such a flexible schedule. Amelia, consider this post my two weeks’ notice. Time to give this mysterious “Carol” a call…
The other day I needed to put my hair up before a shower, so I groggily reached into the little jar of bobby pins on my bathroom counter, felt around a bit, and realized it was empty. Totally empty. Despite the fact that I’d just bought one of those massive value buckets of bobby pins, like, two weeks ago. I checked all the usual places–bedside table, purse pockets, under the sink–and sure enough, no bobby pins. Seriously, where have all the
cowboys bobby pins gone? Where does every single bobby pin I’ve ever owned disappear to? Here are my theories… Keep reading »
It’s no surprise people have gone to the ’80s to meet their nostalgia needs. It’s unseemly looking back before the 1960s. When you say, “The ’50s were great,” folks reply, “They sure were! Which did you prefer: the crippling conformity or the segregation?” The modern pop culture machine chewed up and crapped out the ’60s and ’70s long ago, leaving 1980-89. Which would be fine, except that decade was dumb. Ten long years of dumb — dumb hair, dumb music and dumb crises. Anyone who celebrates this era clearly has blocked out the part of the ‘Rock Me Tonite’ video where Billy Squier starts crawling across the floor. Read this list of reasons why the ’80s was dumb, and think twice before blogging a list titled “Top 20 Reasons I Love The ’80s.” Read more…
I was recently contacted through my website by a pregnant black woman who inquired about hiring me to perform standup at her baby shower. She and her husband were diehard comedy fans, and thought it would be fun to have a comic perform for their guests.
“How did you find me?” I asked. “I Googled ‘Fat Black Female Comics’ and you were one of the women that popped up!” she answered. “Everyone knows that fat black women are the funniest comics alive!”
After I hung up the phone, I sat there for a moment trying to figure out if I should be offended or not. While I understand that she was trying to be complimentary, I’m not sure if I am flattered by someone thinking that I am automatically funny just because I am plus-sized and black. Then I thought about the $1,500 she offered to pay me to stand in the middle of her living room and crack jokes for 30 minutes, and I instantly felt better. Throughout my career, I’ve been paid much less to do far worse. There was plenty of time for me to be offended later, but for now it was time to get paid!
Comedy is hard work, no matter what you look like. The perception that fat black women have an edge up, purely because of the size of their bodies, diminishes the amount of hard work, discipline and creativity that it takes for us to create this art form known as comedy. Furthermore, I think it’s crazy that someone would assume that all fat black women are funny.
On the other hand, I get it. Keep reading »
It’s not easy to make offensive jokes about ignorance. One person’s ignorant joke can be another person’s joke about ignorance and even if your comedy has the best of intentions, it’s frequently misunderstood. Offensive humor is tricky to balance, but smart humorists can do it well.
I believe Mindy Kaling from “The Office” is extremely smart and that she deserves all the success she’s garnered from her book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? and her upcoming sitcom “The Mindy Project.” But after watching the pilot for “The Mindy Project,” which is airing on Hulu Plus, I have to say I was disappointed about several squicky jokes made about race. Keep reading »
They’re cute, lovable and always happy to see you. But they’re also expensive, moody, and chew all your stuff. No, not grandma! I’m talking about your dog, the most overrated pet of all time (sea monkeys come in a close second.) Sure, they make great life partners for the lonely and are perfect conversation starters for curb-side flirtation. But, honestly, how far can a relationship go when it began over a stream of steaming pet pee? Dogs do nothing but take, take, take. What do they give? Besides fleas, slobber and heartbreaking puppy dog eyes? Nothing. This is a list of 10 reasons you should leave that charming pooch at the pound where it belongs. Deal with it, PETA. Read more…
Nevermind easing off the Fancy Feast. Just get your kitty a pair of cat Spanx! That shouldn’t be hard to put on her at all. Cats just love wearing clothes. [BuzzFeed]
Tonight, the Olympics Opening Ceremony will kick off two weeks of elite competition from the most incredible athletes in the world. But amidst all the glitz, glory, and excitement, let’s not forget about the guinea pig athletes who have been training just as hard. Want proof? Check out these pictures from the amazing 2012 Guinea Pig Games calendar, which imagines the squeaky pets competing in a range of Olympic events from track and field to show jumping (trust me, your life is not complete until you’ve seen a guinea pig riding a horse). Click on the gallery above to check ‘em out! [Stylist UK]