Tag Archives: humor

We Swear It’s Not Porn! (NSFW)

It's not porn
It Sounds A Whole Lot Like Porn But...

When I was an actress, the worst part was telling my friends and family about the roles I was auditioning for — or sometimes, had just booked. I’d be like, “I’m just got a horror movie with Gary Busey! I’m playing a vampire prostitute who gets shot in the head while playing cards with Morgan Freeman’s son in a cabin in the middle of Afghanistan!” Then I’d just watch the concern/confusion/horror pass over their faces as they assumed the worst. (I really did play that part, by the way. And it wasn’t porn.) A new video, “It’s Not Porn…”, spoofs that phenomenon. Actors and actresses brag about the roles they just landed that happen to sound a whole lot like porn, but are really just HBO shows. See if you can name all the scenes from you favorite shows. [Laughing Squid]

Your New Boyfriend Wants To Meet You For A Naked Cup Of Tea

Subway Sign
subway etiquette poster
This subway sign is fake but it should be real. Read More »
Cronut Slut
Man Seeks "Cronut Slut" On Craigslist
Man seeks "cronut slut" on Craigslist. Read More »
Apology Note
A bike thief returns the stolen bike with a note. Read More »
Spreadsheet Guy
This guy made a spreadsheet of all his Match.com dates. Read More »

This flyer (click here for larger image), spotted on a pole in NYC, was posted by male human being and soon-to-be great author, Koji Frahm. The 26-year-old Brooklyn resident took his own version of Craigslist Casual Encounters to the streets, but not in a sexual way. Rather, he hopes that his proposition for naked tea will “be the conceptual Trojan Horse for an experience that most people desperately want but would never consider.” Also, he needs to earn money go beyond words to finish the next draft of his book which he is certain will “change people’s lives.” As far as why he chose tea specifically? Koji finds it to be the the least intimidating drink that would still be “partway understandable to your average streetwalker.” Does the average streetwalker drink tea? Just wondering. ANYHOO … Koji is reaching out his hand to you and all you have to do is not be afraid to invite a NAKED STRANGER over for for an experience that is interesting, radical and mutually beneficial. Still not convinced? I will leave you with a quote from the man himself:

“My book is a book unlike any book I’ve ever read (and I’ve read many). Let me put it this way. The ocean makes a sound, yes? You hear a noise in your ear of your imagination, whether it’s waves or a deep gurgling. And no matter what you say about it, that is the sound of the sea. It cannot be denied.”

Nor can Koji be denied. Check out the man who wants to have naked tea with YOU after the jump.[Gothamist] Keep reading »

19 Signs You’re In A New Age Bookstore

Hippie Colleges
14 signs you attended a hippie college. Read More »
Be Your Slightly Better Self
How To Be Your Slightly Better Self
15 ways to be a little better, every day. Read More »

We recently discovered that one of the many things we have in common is a deep love of new age bookstores. Ami actually used to work in one in LA, while Winona has spent countless hours wandering the aisles of Portland’s many alternative book shops, sniffing incense and wondering if she could ever make a living as a palm reader. The funny thing is, as unique as each of these quirky little stores may claim to be, they’re all exactly the same. Tarot readings? Check. Meditation room? Check. Wind chime soundtrack? Check. Light your spell candle and read on for a list of signs you’re in a new age bookstore… Keep reading »

The Only Way To Improve Upon The Handsome Lads Of One Direction Is By Removing Their Teeth

Ah, One Direction: all of the teenage mass hysteria of The Beatles without any of the genre-transcending talent, political gusto, or implied intellectualism. Do they even play any instruments, aside from hair? This I do not know. But hell, if nothing else, Simon Cowell‘s charismatic cloneboys have good looks on their side. Justin Bieber never did it for me (in fact, he did and continues to do whatever the opposite is), but Harry Styles, on the other hand… the tousled hair, the wicked grin, the totally non-threatening and yet somehow simultaneously really really carnal sexuality. I guess what I’m trying to say is HE COULD GET IT. But what’s way more fun than ironic (yeah, sure, “ironic”) Harry Styles fan-girling is this photo of the boys sans teeth. And eyebrows. Teeth and eyebrows. AREN’T THEY JUST DREAMY? For maximum enjoyment, I encourage you to pass this along to the underage “1D” (one! D!) enthusiast in your life. Even and especially if said superfan happens to be your own child. [Reddit]

Alyssa Milano’s Sex Tape Will Leave You Feeling…Informed

Watch Farrah's Sex Tape!
We've got a seriously NSFW clip! Read More »
Revolting Sex Tapes
Revolting Celeb Sex Tapes
We wish other sex tapes had been released instead of these. Read More »
Alyssa Milano's Sex Tape
Watch Alyssa Milano's sex tape!

While most celebrity sex tapes include a lot of well, sex, Alyssa Milano gets risque and tackles social issues in the bedroom. Basically, her Funny Or Die sex tape spoof is the most genius way ever arouse interest about whats going on in Syria. I think Farrah Abraham would benefit greatly from watching it. And maybe Alyssa could do a follow up sex tape that focuses on the history of feminism. [Funny Or Die]

Well, That’s One Way To Celebrate Your Soon-To-Be Ex-Husband’s Birthday

While most soon-to-be divorced couples are busy lawyering up, liquidating assets and fighting over custody of children and china, these two are eating cake together. A Redditor posted this photo with the caption: “My soon-to-be ex-wife brought me a cake for my birthday today.” I knew divorce cakes were a thing, but if you can laugh about your divorce cake then maybe a reconciliation is in order. This couple seems to evolved beyond all the contentious feelings that normally accompany the end of a relationship, which means that either the cake is poisoned or we have a lot to learn from them. Teach us your secret, oh great breakup gurus. [Reddit]

Happily Divorced
We shouldn't shame folks for realizing their marriage just won't work out. Read More »
Oreo Divorce
Wife Eats All Of The Creme Out Of A Box Of Oreo Cookies
Couple to divorce over this half-eaten box of oreos? Read More »
Big Divorce Dollars
The most outrageous divorce settlements. Read More »

Police Mistake Celebrity Impersonator Photoshoot For Armed Criminal Enterprise

Even though the Port of London Authority only requires artists to register if they plan to be filming, not merely taking photos, the organizers of a celebrity look-a-like photoshoot are saying that, in hindsight, they probably should have. Turns out people jump to conclusions when they see a bunch of black-clad people waving guns around on a speedboat.

The four impersonators were on hand to kick off the opening of Thamesjet, “London’s most extreme river experience,” with “appearances” by Angelina Jolie, Tom Cruise, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Daniel Craig. Alarmed by the appearance of a speedboat apparently containing four armed mercenaries, an anonymous member tipped off the police. Read more at The Mary Sue…

Official Illinois State Department Website Offers Klingon Language Accessibility

Know any unemployed Klingons living in Illinois? Then you should probably go tell them their lives have become considerably easier. But since they don’t have a word for “unemployed,” you might have some difficulty explaining it, so bring a phaser in case things escalate.

The Illinois Department of Employment Security began offering Klingon as one of the languages its website can be viewed in as a way of getting a bit of attention earlier this summer when “Star Trek Into Darkness” was arriving in theaters. They decided to keep it on afterward when they realized that the novelty of it was drawing more people to their site, which offers information on unemployment benefits, veterans’ benefits, and job searching resources. “Whenever people are drawn to our website to see the benefits that we offer, that’s a good thing,” spokesman Greg Rivara told the Chicago Tribune. Read more at The Mary Sue…

A Dating Advice Book You’ll Actually Read

The Pug's Guide To Dating

Writer and cartoonist Gemma Correll penned a dating advice book that will actually be of some use to us. A Pug’s Guide to Dating, coming out early next month, follows young pugs in their quest for love and all the pitfalls they face. “Who knew that sniffing someone’s backside in a park could be so alluring? For every pug, the road to romance is filled with dramatic highs and crashing lows. For every successful lick there’s an aborted leg hump, for each whiff of a pretty posterior there is a howl lamenting unrequited adoration,” says the Amazon description. I can relate all too well. At some point, I think we’ve all been taken on a date to the place someone pees. [Laughing Squid]

 

Random Pug Facts
pug
Here are 10 random things you might not have known about pugs. Read More »
Pug In Slippers
That's pretty damn cute. Read More »

“How Animals Eat Their Food: Part 2″ Is Here!

How Animals Eat: Part 1
Humans reenact animals eating and it's hilarious! Read More »
Avent-Garde Preschool
NYC's first avant-garde preschool
They wear kimonos and do yoga at this preschool Read More »
YAY!
"How Animals Eat Their Food: Part 2" Is Here!
Important reenactments of animals eating

Hell to the YEAH. I was hoping the comic heroes who made “How Animals Eat Their Food” would make a sequel and THEY DID. Watch funny humans reenact the eating habits of antelopes, bunnies, meerkats, cheetahs, llamas, fruit flies, horses, octopi, hawks, fish and more! By the way, this is exactly what I imagine the life at the avant-garde preschool will be like. [Laughing Squid]

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