Two years ago when my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about when we lost our virginity, I lied and told him I was 22 and had slept with three people before him. The truth is that I’d just lost my virginity a few months earlier when I was 25 and hadn’t slept with anyone else until my boyfriend. I [was] just embarrassed to tell the truth and, at the time, didn’t foresee this relationship lasting very long or think the lie was going to matter. Fast forward two years, and I love this guy and now we live together. Under normal circumstances I would just come clean, and I wouldn’t fear his reaction. I know he would just laugh at me for being embarrassed and lying about something so silly. But there is another complication. Last year I was diagnosed with cervical cancer, caused by HPV. I did some treatments, and now I have recovered. My boyfriend was amazingly supportive throughout that whole difficult time, but he assumes I got the HPV before him and had it for a few years before developing cancer. He doesn’t know that I’ve only slept with one other person and it was protected sex and only two times! The odds are I got this from my boyfriend, who has slept with so many women that he can’t even count them. I’d like to get this off my chest, but I keep stopping myself. I don’t want him to think that I am telling him this just to make him feel guilty. I don’t blame him in any way. He had no idea he had HPV and it is just bad luck that this happened. Medically speaking, there is no reason to tell him since he already knows he has HPV. He just thinks he got it from me and not the other way around. So, should I tell him or is there no point now? — Recovered
Tag Archives: hpv
I was having dinner with some friends the other night, one of whom does HIV research. We started talking about STDs in general when another friend admitted she’s had herpes for about 10 years. She said she contracted it from the second guy she ever slept with and though she hasn’t had an outbreak in about 8 years, she always tells potential sex partners about it. I was surprised when she said that her gynecologist said that as long as she isn’t in the middle of an outbreak, there’s really no need to tell a sex partner — then I remembered this letter to advice columnist Jamie Bufalino in last week’s Time Out New York. A young woman writes:
“I’m a 23-year-old female, and just found out yesterday that I have contracted HPV/genital warts. I called the four people I’ve slept with in the past year to inform them, saving my current beau (he’s 28, BTW) for last. When I got on the phone with him (he lives in Boston, I’m in New York), I hardly had to say anything because he quickly responded: “Oh yeah, I have HPV too.” We’ve been dating for four months and he never bothered to mention that his last two girlfriends both magically contracted this virus after being with him. He apologized, said he felt terrible that he never told me, that he had planned to tell me soon, asked what he could do to make up for it, etc. I told him I never wanted to speak to him again. Now, the morning after, I wonder: Is getting an STD just part of being an adult? Or is passing a virus a deal breaker?”
An HPV vaccine for men is likely to be approved in the next year, but according to a recent study, men are fairly unlikely to get the shot, even if told it would help protect their female partners against cervical cancer. Sadly, we’re not surprised. Many men won’t sport a rubber to protect themselves and their ladies (yes I know I’m generalizing here), why would we expect them to get poked by a needle?
Farrah Fawcett left a Los Angeles hospital today after being there over a week. She suffered from stomach bleeding resulting from the anal cancer treatment she received in Germany. [People] XOX to FF. We hope you’re feeling better! But we gotta admit, we hd a Big Q: What exactly is “anal cancer?” Keep reading »
There has been a lot of sex-related stuff in the news over the last couple days, which makes complete sense because April is STD Awareness Month, and, you know, the S in STD stands for sexually.
According to a new study, HPV is moving on up…to mouths! That’s right, just when you thought Gardasil and Cervarix solved all your problems, now you have to worry about what else you’ve been opening wide. Since the ’70s. throat cancer cases have doubled, and the research shows HPV is to blame, with 39% of all occurrences caused by the human papilloma virus. Before you go cutting your man off from his favorite foreplay, listen to this: men are 35% more likely than women to develop oral cancer from HPV. Sheesh, making a new man go downtown may be riskier than you both think! Still, there’s more bad news — as of yet, there is no way to test male genitalia for HPV or anyone’s throat to see if they’re a carrier. So, it’s a roll of the dice and doctors fear you may even be able to contract the virus from kissing. There goes all the fun! Since this throat cancer link is a new revelation, the cervical cancer vaccines haven’t been tested or proven to prevent it. So, deep throat, you might want to use a condom for oral sex or just give that random stranger a handy and call it a night! [ABC News] Keep reading »
We scored a nice little quote in Page Six Magazine‘s story on “Generation Unsafe Sex”, but some of the other people interviewed left us with the question above. A half dozen or so NYC singles, as well as a Jezebel blogger and a sex educator, were interviewed about the topic of safe sex (and the fact that more and more people are not having it) — this quote, in particular, stuck out:
“Once STDs and death seemed synonymous. Today, the accepted reality is that the STDs one is likely to contract through unprotected sex are more mundane, which is underscored by the fact that so many of them are cured using the same antibiotics you’d use for a sinus infection.”
So far in the states, Gardasil has been the only FDA approved vaccine for the double-whammy strain of HPV that causes cervical cancer. However, in Europe Cervarix has been kicking HPV’s butt and protecting women across the continent. While the drug has been in the FDA review process for foreva-eva, it looks like new data submitted by the makers, GlaxoSmithKline, will stall approvals now until 2009. Sheesh! What’s a girl gotta do to get some options? [Wall Street Journal]