It’s one of those almost 100-degree days when you feel so sweaty that your brain kind of shuts down and you experience ennui that can only be cured by frozen yogurt, Prancercise gifs or old clips of the “Maury Povich Show” (thank you, Julie). It was in this state that found myself in a dark corner of the internet searching for “how to” sex videos…oh, just cuz that seemed like the right thing to do today. IT WAS. From an animated, dancing penis with a face to how to make sexual bird calls at a hobo, watching these videos is the equivalent of rubbing ice cubes on your brain. Please enjoy the weirdest instructional sex videos YouTube has to offer. While they are not of the hardcore variety, they may still be a little NSFW, so proceed with caution. Keep reading »
I was late to work today. Well, I’m late every day because I seem to have a high rate of mishaps first thing in the morning, but today I was super late. I woke up early, with a vow to be on time. That’s how it always begins. At 6:50 a.m., my roommate knocked on my door to tell me there was no hot water. This is becoming a way-too-normal occurrence in my apartment lately (that’s another post). Only, today it was worse because my parents are in town and we’re having dinner tonight and I had planned to shave my legs and wash my hair, so this was particularly bad news. I decided that there was no way I could skip the hair washing, but I could get away with no leg shaving and wear one of my jumpers, of which I have many. The only issue with wearing a one piece is the whole peeing thing. And I drink an absurd amount of coffee and water, so I have to pee ALL THE TIME. Keep reading »
What is this “contouring” that makeup artists and celebrities speak of? I see it all the time — that subtle shadow right under their cheekbones, lifting their faces, enhancing their features, and overall making them look more beautiful than they already are. How in the world do you do it, and what products do you use? — Clueless About Contouring
Contouring done properly is one of the most important makeup lessons to be learned out of the entire lexicon. Every celebrity makeup artist does it on every celebrity. We never see our favorite stars hit the red carpet without it. You may recognize it from this classic image, forever imprinted in our hearts and minds… Keep reading »
Almie Rose knows a thing or two about a thing or two. In this installment, Almie dissects the finer points of how to deal when you’re depressed. Or, maybe, how not to deal. In any case, it’s always a good idea to make videos with your pets.
Almie Rose is a versatile young lady. Want proof? Check out her informative transformation from regular ol’ Silverlake hipstar girl, replete with glasses and sweater, to lip glossed porn star. And you’ll want to do this, of course, because boys love porn stars.
Do you have problems pooping at work? Are you venturing into the wild world of gay anal sex? Do you fear that a large ship is secretly stalking you? Then there’s a how to book for you! We’ve found 18 unbelievable how to books that’ll help you become better at virtually everything. Like, seriously, everything.
You’ll thank us for improving your life, really.